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SweetCalendula's NC diary
(128 posts) (21 voices)-
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I will NEVER sell, trade, rent, or give away your information to any third party.
I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy PolicyPosted 4 months ago Jetlag
offlineInactiveHi there SC!!!
So great to know that youre coping very well!!! Better than that, you can really enjoy your life
So happy for you!!You keep talking about LoA, so I re-read the thread in this forum and listened to The Power. It works incredibly well and yesterday while I thought about it, I cried with joy!! We all have so much to be grateful for. Why keep feeling sad and missing out every single great thing we have in our life that we used to take for granted?
No more negativity and start living our beautiful life with love, joy, and positivity!!
Posted 4 months ago #-
break222
offlineMemberHey sweetcalendula,
You've come so far in the last 4 weeks. What you are feeling right now is the magic of being back in control over yourself. Keep it up and don't let anything get you down!!
Posted 4 months ago # -
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Posted 4 months ago sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHi Jetlag, it's my pleasure! I am so glad it helps you over there. Hope things are much better at your end! x
Heyya Jasmine, I am coping great thank you! x
Hey Break222, yep I am here! Can't believe time would hand me back the control over myself again. Thank you for the empowering words!
Just to share a quote I've found somewhere,
"Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe things happen for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."
Stay strong and stay positive everyone. Much love.
Posted 4 months ago #-
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberSo today marks a month of 2nd NC!
*pats self at the back*
( after a week of self NC after the break up, 2 weeks of initial NC and now ... a month of 2nd attempt - self note! )This is the longest NC I've ever been so far! After breaking the initial one and here I am. I hardly believe that I would reach this stage. I know that I will stop counting on the days. If you read my previous posts, you'll figure how easy it was for me to give in. Scott, I really wanna thank you for this! You gave me the courage to resend the NC!
It's pretty a high and low ride these days ( and I know it doesn't have much to do with the PMS ) but I guess it's a part of the healing process. I was a bit teary recently and he still comes to mind once in a while. I know there will be one time I will totally stop thinking about him, and I just need to give more space for myself to evaluate and evolve again. I wish him the best in everything he does.
I am happy with the petty improvements I made to myself, and my family and close friends noticed that I've merely lost weight and how better-looking and positive I am now, despite having a tough time through this ordeal. I've totally reinvent my styles, and this made me realised that when I was in the relationship, the ex was pretty much controlling - he disliked it when I wore something fancy as all eyes would be on me. What a selfish and conceited man! Screw all the "us" and screw him. Now I get to wear things that I love! Besides, I am pretty contented that he doesn't have any medium to check out on me anymore. So that keeps the misery going.
And the odd thing, is that I keep on getting calls from unknown numbers which is pretty rare for me as only a small loop of people knows it.
Reconnection plan is still very far ahead from consideration. I am not sure if anything will happen this month as I will be in the city as the ex another one month plus from now ( and he knows it ). Unless miracle happens or another option would be, either approximately minimum 6 months down the line if I'd ever want to reconnect. If not, I will still lead my own life and live it to the fullest.
I'm really looking forward to pass my exams with flying colours which is about a month from now ( amen ) and start packing my stuffs to head back to my hometown, and finally... off for vacation!
Note to self - stay strong stay positive stay focus.
Much love.
Posted 4 months ago # -
vandy2159
offlineMemberGood luck on your exams! Congrats on the month of NC that is a very big accomplishment...that seems so long of a time to me
Posted 4 months ago # -
willsucceed
offlineMemberIf not, I will still lead my own life and live it to the fullest.
Good job on making it to one month 2nd NC. It incrementally gets easier with time, and protects you to evolve. I second vandy2159 on good luck on your exams. I hope you have vacation with family and friends, which is always a lot of fun. Perhaps you can make some new friends as well.
Posted 4 months ago # -
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Posted 4 months ago sweetcalendula said:
So today marks a month of 2nd NC!Great Job SC!
You screwed up your first NC
and then you came right back and got on track again. Admitting your mistake and learning from it is not very easy (I know).
You are not only helping yourself, but you're helping other members when you lead by example.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 4 months ago #-
mamasteez
offlineMembersweetcalendula said:
So today marks a month of 2nd NC! *pats self at the back*Reconnection plan is still very far ahead from consideration. I am not sure if anything will happen this month as I will be in the city as the ex another one month plus from now ( and he knows it ). Unless miracle happens or another option would be, either approximately minimum 6 months down the line if I'd ever want to reconnect. If not, I will still lead my own life and live it to the fullest.
Yay! 2 months NC! I know it's difficult but look how far you have gotten thus far.
As for reconnection, I'm glad to see that you're waiting a minimum of 6 months, you don't know how much someone can change in that time and most likely for the better. I'm also proud to see that if nothing comes from it you'll still be able to live it to the fullest!
Posted 4 months ago # -
zuzan
offlineInactivewell done sweetcalendula...,
keep up with the NC....and dont forget to have loads of fun at vacation...
since u are a free person now get the full use of it..i also had that dressing prob with my ex....its so funny to think about that now...
have fun dear..u deserve it...
hope for the best and get the best......
Posted 4 months ago # -
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Posted 4 months ago sweetcalendula
offlineMemberThanks SW. I know I screwed it up long time and I am here back on track!
Mamasteez, Jasmine, Zuzan : Thank you guys for your support!
End of Week 5 of NC
Up and down the hill I go, I am hitting the rock-bottom today. Perhaps it's the fear I had because I just got back to the same city as the ex. Dropped by to meet his mom yesterday, just to pass over some cakes I promised long time ago and had a 30-45 minutes chat as she invited us in with my two guy friends along ( we were supposed to have dinner and movies ) but it happened spontaneously that she was free that night for me to pass it to her. I kinda refused bcos I said we were busy but she insisted us to come in since I didn't drop by at her place for Eid. Didn't touch anything personal, I maintained on the casual ones and I think she was kinda surprised that I wasn't overtly intensed and emotional as I used to be before. She even asked where have I been for not contacting her.
She tried to talk about the ex in a loop but I just ignored and changed the topic. She was kinda surprised that I knew about the accident ( if you read my earlier posts ) that the ex had and I just told her that he informed to me about it and again I quickly changed to another topic about health issues ( since that would be my specialty ). And on another part, she even asked so many times if I have a boyfriend at the moment ( she's assuming either one of my two guy friends are ) so I just drew a grin on my face and answered " Nahhh. " Then I changed the topic again!
She even hugged me so tightly that she wanted us to keep in touch. She even 'warned' me in a way that I should always informed her if I ever wanted to change my number etc. On another note, they're moving into a new house ( I think it is a good news, since I won't be here for long either ) and she constantly reassured that she will inform me her new address. Can't really recall if I ever told her I would like to settle down here after I graduated because I only told my ex about it; and again she asked why I don't stay here and settle for good.
Frankly, I don't really mind if she doesn't update me with her new address because I guess that would be the final time I will see her. And so we rushed and leave after that! If it wasn't for the cakes I wouldn't be bothered to drop by. Because I even asked a couple of times before for her full house address so I could just post it to her, but she refused and wanted me to come over.
And the meeting with her yesterday was confidential. His step sibling and stepdad was there too yesterday, but I don't care any longer if he finds out about it. He actually warned me not to keep in touch with his family as if I would be using them to win him back. Honestly, it was far from what I could think of. As far as I concern, the ex has this bad experiences before which his exes would stalk and 'use' his family to get him back. Ohhh boy, I am not one of your desperate exes. I am one of the best girls that he never had, just like what he used to tell me during the break up that I am the only one he met that deserved his 'sacrifice' of his 'in-between' feelings of one woman to another.
Besides that, I think my twitter is being logged in again. I think I will just delete it. I guess I have to change my email address's password too.
I don't know but I kinda sense the heaviness in me today, I guess it's the inside part of me trying to adapt to this city again. At this point of time, I don't know if I will ever see / talk to him anymore. It's like what's next, what should I do... but I guess I will just leave it to that. I guess it's how the universe reacts to how serious I want my requests to be fulfilled, enough said by SW in Angelbear's diary.
I will keep myself busy starting this Monday, because I need to focus on my exams and nothing more.
I know this NC and the plan will work, make believe. I will get my life back.
Posted 4 months ago #-
*hugs*
glad to know that you can even maintain your composure when meeting his mom. She knew the changes in you and she feel it.
focus on your study and your exams first. I know how it feels going back into the same city where he lives.
but nonetheless, you are doing great. Together we can get thru this.
Be strong ok. *hugs tight*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 4 months ago # -
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberThanks AB,
It was pretty an awkward moment in the beginning, but somehow I felt my reactions were spontaneous. It's like as if it was there naturally and I guess I've been missing in action from the mother for almost a month as well. I think in a way or another NC is helping me to regain my composure and slowly becoming a better version of me. You know that look on her face when I told her that "Nahhh, you know aunty that's fate. If it happens, it will happen no matter what". She was utterly surprised.
Yea, it's not easy to be in the same city as the ex. But we will pull this through no matter what. After all, I will only be here for another month. It's not that long. I've been this far, and I won't give up on myself.
We can do this AB. *hugs* xx
Posted 4 months ago # -
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Posted 4 months ago sweetcalendula
offlineMemberThanks Jasmine for your continuous support! x
I don't really remember what day of NC is it today, I think I am about encroaching week 6 so that will make... ermmm... how many days? Ohhh well, I lost count somehow.
Nothing much updated with me recently, sometimes I do feel really great and sometimes I feel terribly low. I guess this is it, the challenge or a quick test on my strengths as they evolve with time. NC does make me realise a lot of things, and I don't blame myself badly like I used to anymore. I know I do have my own flaws, hey, I am only human and I am not perfect either. But I am here to make myself, to enhance myself for a better version of me. After all, it took both parties to contribute into that failed relationship.
Another random unknown number's missed call received, but I didn't manage to pick the call because of the time constraint. It's a local fixed line number, but I guess it wasn't urgent after all.
I really had a great weekend with my good friends, and I had a blast. I am still hunting for 'The Power' as there is a huge book fare going on in the city, trying my best to spare some time for myself to have a quick drive there and grab it! I am not going to miss it ever in the world!
I've been keeping myself really busy lately, spending most of the time in the wards, brushing up my own skills preparing for my exams which is about less than a month from now. I am more positive lately, just that I realised I have this anxiety and a form of 'panic attack' when I am to make a spontaneous presentation among my colleagues and lecturers. It's like the struggle I had to make in order for me to speak up my opinions and answers when they hardly came out from my mouth although the answers are right. And I will be flushed as if I were about to collapse. Lol. That was what actually happened to me in my last exam, I had a terrible thought block! But as days passed by I am beginning to gain more control of myself. And I really believe confidence is the key. Working on it! And I know I can do it and I will pass my exams with flying colours!
Just to share to everyone this video.
An adorable must-watch video!Stay strong, stay positive and stay focus to everyone and myself. Much love.
Posted 4 months ago #-
willsucceed
offlineMemberHi sweetcalendula, thanks for your words of encouragement on my NC diary.
Glad to hear you're getting lots of practice to work on your confidence of presenting. You'll only get better with practice and knowing that you are successfully getting through the break-up should also give you a measure of confidence.
Sounds like you are productively busy!
Posted 4 months ago # -
Katniss
offlineInactiveHey SweetCalendula, I just finished reading your entire NC diary, and I must say that it sounds like you have yourself really together. By the Pros and Cons list you posted earlier... I have to agree with Willsucceed; probably best to see the red flags and run away from them as fast as your feet can move you!
I am a student at present just like you. I think my ultimate goal will be Anesthesiologist Assistant and will prove to be very lucrative.
I was just telling my mother today how I aced my midterms in undergrad. She says to me, "See, maybe Mr. X breaking up with you was a good thing, because you can really focus on your studies now without having to worry about any guys all that seriously." I said, "Ya know what? You are exactly right. I don't think I could've kept my mind on my studies as well if I had been worrying incessantly about a broken relationship." I am free! I think I'm on Day 19 of NC and have heard nothing from him. I hope I don't hear anything for a quite some time! I like not having knots in my stomach. 
You will have so much to offer the right guy when he comes along, but don't let the memories of this one drag you down in the meantime. Here's an analogy for you:
Do you know why a car's windshield is so much larger than the car's rearview mirror? Because we are supposed to spend the majority of our time looking forward at the road ahead of us, and the rearview is only there for the occasional glimpse of what is behind us. Who the hell wants to drive in reverse??
Posted 4 months ago # -
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHi Katniss and Willsucceed, thank you for the strong and kind empowering words.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
It's been whatever day of NC, and I have to admit this week is a struggle to me. I just realised my gmail account was being logged in, for almost a month. I just found out that there is a button where you can check your recent activities on the account and I noted some of the logins that didn't belong to me. And some of the emails that were sent to my inbox were read and deleted and I only saw it in my 'all mail' folder.
I've been changing it quite a couple of times, giving it as virus in my laptop / phone as the initial thought until I saw the read mail - it was actually a notification from google buzz, which I connected to my flickr account ( which I currently use Yahoomail for that one ). Any recent activities from connected account will be sent to your inbox and your buzz. The odd thing is that I received a notification from myself regarding one of my photos that I've uploaded in there - a picture of a friend of mine who got married, which I wrote the caption as "True Love", just the next day after I uploaded it at wee hours in the morning. And it was read and deleted and I only found it out after scrolling my 'all email' folder just few days ago.
I don't want to think it was the ex but he is the only one I could think of. He knew my password before, and he was an IT student, he hacked one of the local uni's results education system before. I am kinda pissed because the purchased MOMU and self-help relationship articles were in that email. I am so thankful the email I use to join the forum is a different one.
And just few days ago before I changed my password for the 5th time, I recalled I actually emptied my trash, and that day I was about to create a new password ( I was using my friend's laptop ), my trashes were all restored!
Any thoughts everyone? I really think it was my ex and for sure he has the idea what I am up to. What a selfish and conceited man! And there goes the bunch of numbers tried to call and text me from unknown #. If it is really him, how can I know if he is evolving? I really want him to evolve!!!
I was doing so completely fine all this while and now I am feeling as if I am back to square one. I know I shouldn't be worrying too much about it because it will stop my personal evolution. I am trying to pick myself back and practise LOA like I used to. Jetlag gave me the lift to put myself back together again.
Note to self, be strong be strong be strong.
Posted 4 months ago # -
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Posted 4 months ago willsucceed
offlineMemberSweet calendula, I don't know much about computers and these instructions are found on the web, so take the source into consideration. He may have a keylogger on your computer.
Hold down: Control Shift Escape
Click on “processes”
Make sure there is only 1 winword.exe running
Note: there may be 1 winlogon.exe running so make sure to distinguish those two types of names of .exe files.
My understanding is that you delete the second winword.exe that doesn't have your name associated with it. It think you only catch this if he's logged onto your computer, so you have repeat this process to catch him while he is logged on. However, remember that I am not computer savvy and messing with .exe files is not trivial.Here is the second set of instructions I found:
Based on the location of that file, it doesnt look like the legit service host(svchost.exe) file. The legit ones usually reside in the c:\Windows\System32 folder. This is defnitely a bogus file and needs to be removed.
Step 1. Boot the computer in safe mode
- Turn off the computer
- Tap the F8 when you try to turn it back on
- In advanced options select safe mode using your arrow keys, hit enter
Step 2. In start -> Start Search - Type "folder options" --- with out quotes
Step3. Folder Options -> Go to View -> Do the following actions -
1. Show Hidden folers
2. Uncheck - Hide protected operating system files
3. Apply and then OK
Step3. Navigate to the folder C:\Users\Jason\AppData\Roaming\Microsoft\ and see if you have that file, if you have, delete it by pressing shift and delete keys at the same time.
Step4. Restart the computer.Sweetcalendula, please take heart. You are a strong woman. You will make it through this and you can build your own life.
Posted 4 months ago #-
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHey Willsucceed, thank you so much for the very useful information, and thank you so much for your concern. I seriously don't wanna think it was him, I'd rather think it was some sort of virus or software problem in my laptop. I will just try to seek help from my tech-savvy friends to have my laptop checked and fixed. I will do just fine, thank you. (:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This marks whatever day / week of NC, I think I am coming to terms to not counting it anymore. These few days have really awaken me, I am really determined to get myself back. Still baby steps heading to it and I have been telling myself that I am on the right track. My exam is in 3 weeks time, and I am done after. I have my high and low days, I guess they are the tests of my strengths on how much I have evolved lately.
Last weekend was a downer to me, as I was trespassing the shopping mall I always have my ritual window shopping at and all I saw were the advertisements of the ex's company he's working for at the moment. His name hanging almost everywhere at the corner of an employer's sign - nearby and in the tv show. It was pretty coincident. I have to admit it was stabbing me inside. I took a deep breath and applied my FFT, and I didn't realise that I wept. I hate crying. It's like a sense of weakness in me, as if I was getting back to square one on earlier days of NC. I think weekends just suck. But why now? When I was doing so fine before?
NC is still intact, and I am determined to keep it unbroken. Had my lesson learnt in the beginning. It seems like the universe is testing me right now... on how badly I wanted my life back. Yes, I really do because that is the only thing I could do best for myself. I believe I will.
I don't think I would want to choose a reconnection day. I just don't think I would want to talk or see him anymore.
Posted 4 months ago # -
willsucceed
offlineMembersweetcalendula, yes it's hard to see pictures of your ex, especially when you aren't expecting it. Sorry that you are feeling down, but glad that you are determined to keep NC intact. The down times are difficult and even knowing that getting your life back is the best thing, it can still be hard sometimes.
It makes sense to get to indifference before reconnection--or at least that's what I understand is recommended by the plan. That way you don't care one way or the other if there is a mutual interest in reconnection. So, on to the goal of indifference one small step after the other. Perhaps there are some giant steps that will be great to take towards indifference! We can at least hope.
Posted 4 months ago # -
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberWillsucceed, it indeed is! I wasn't expecting it at all. I have always been to the shopping mall almost every weekend and it strucked me the last time I went there because the advertisements weren't there before. And I was like, what the heck?
I presumed as such, too. I guess when the time is right, you won't really bother anymore if you would ever want to reconnect. I really wish we could have giant steps to it! But taking enormous steps forward can actually bring you more steps backwards. I guess mini steps, at a time is the best.
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Posted 4 months ago sanity_fair
offlineMemberHi SC! I think you're doing great. It's unavoidable to connect things to the past especially this early during NC, but you do try to get back to the present.
Reconnecting is only an option. With NC, there will come a day you truly would not want to, simply because it just doesn't make sense. They hurt you. We need someone else who wouldn't.
Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.
Vaclav Havel, Disturbing the PeacePosted 4 months ago #-
Jetlag
offlineInactiveHi SC!!
Im really sorry for what happened and how it affected you. When you're feeling down, dont be afraid to face it, but you need release it right after. You did good by applying FFT and not staying in your sadness for long time.
sweetcalendula said:
I hate crying. It's like a sense of weakness in me, as if I was getting back to square one on earlier days of NC.No, its different now! You're a lot better person!! You have more control on your feeling!! Crying is a normal human being does after a short period of breakup. Ask people who already had done months of NC, I bet they still have that moment. What makes it different from your early days of NC is that you are able to handle and cope with it very well. I believe its now easier for you to stand up and go back on track. It's only getting easier as time goes by.
Stay strong and positive as you already are!!
Posted 4 months ago # -
willsucceed
offlineMemberSC, I agree with Jetlag. I takes a lot to make me cry (outside of sentimental crying at hallmark card commercials). I also don't cry for long and it's this huge emotional peak that gets me there, which does feel out of control.
However, at my divorce recovery group everyone cries, even the guys. I now consider it a physical release of emotions that needs to happen. Fortunately, it does begin to subside and you do find other releases and don't peak as often, but sometimes the tears are what happens and I am now okay with that. I have even stopped in the middle of my swimming lane and cried. Then I just started swimming again to finish my laps.
Posted 4 months ago # -
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Posted 4 months ago -
You are progressing just fine dear.
It's normal to be in emotional roller coaster but the more you getting in control of these unwanted emotions the more you'll bounce back to the 'feel good' zone. Remember, we don't always need to be 100% having to feel good everytime..getting the scale at 51% is good enough.
You are stronger than what you think.
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 4 months ago # -
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHello everyone,
It's been a while for not updating here. I've been doing great lately and is thoroughly occupied for my preparations for exams, in 12 days time, to be exact.
I am slowly getting myself back, and yes, I am beginning to realise this independent, great conversationalist, chirpy, warm vivacious girl who can just immensely dances spontaneously in the public whenever the groovy music is being played. Yes, I am recognizing her in a bit. She's on her way back to me!
LOA, and NC are yet to be remained. I've reached 2 months I think. I'm definitely sticking to it! 100% compliance! LOA really is amazing. When you are beginning to be really positive despite all the rough days you might face, positive things will definitely pay you off. Just few days ago the senior whom I used to like contacted me ( again and I don't really know what he wants from me exactly ) out of nowhere, imagine him having a girlfriend and his girlfriend used to despise me. Both of them are in my social network and she is persistently commenting on my posts. She even posted that I look good. I don't know if she is still threatened by my presence, but nonetheless, I am just happily doing my own things.
Regarding the ex, I am reaching to a point that I've completely let him go. I've set him free, I've set myself free. I forgive every little thing that occurred! Like one of the forum members posted in their diaries, nothing is permanent in life. I am really thankful that it happened, because otherwise I won't be learning about loving myself. It's one worth shot. Things keep on changing and change is the most constant thing in life - either for better or worse. I know my Mr. Right will come to me one fine day.
Like Pixie said, being plain positively selfish is her new motto. Cheers to us, Pixie!
I know great things are happening as the days pass by!
Pray for my success everyone for my final exams!
Hugs to all and much love.
Posted 3 months ago # -
Pixie
offlineMemberSending you lots of positive thoughts from the other side of the world you will do amazing on your final exams & become a great doctor....have faith in yourself remember & you will succeed!
Congrats of getting this far in to NC you have been an amazing support to me & i know you have a bright future ahead of
Posted 3 months ago # -
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Posted 3 months ago sweetcalendula
offlineMemberThanks Pixie for the kind words! I know we both will get our lives back and we will be kicking ass! (:
------------ It's a bit gloomy here at my place. I am no longer influenced by the vivid changes of the weather to make my day. I can almost say that my days had been great and I was occupied to the maximum gear I have to pursue for my exams. Amen to my success.
Although this weekend is a holiday weekend to all Muslims in my country, ( leaving only a few of us here for as we decided not to go home for the Eid Adha holidays when all my juniors are heading home for a week ), I am totally fine with it being here without my family. I was taken aback by the thought of it initially, as this would be my first time celebrating it all alone without my family. But mind over matter - my exam has to come first.
Just a few nights ago while I was pretty uptight with my schedule, I received another one call from an unknown #. Funny how it was, I managed to pick it up this time while I was in the middle of getting myself ready to cheer up for my friends in their mini-badminton game. I said " hello " a couple of times but the person on line remained silent, all I could hear was the background voice of the surrounding environment the person was at. So I hung up since there was no response, and I didn't bother calling back. Ohhh well.
On another note, the ex's mother has contacted me the day after the call, after the last time I met her last month. She left me a text, saying that she needed my help if that doesn't bug me. I've decided that I wouldn't wanna be in contact with her at the moment, or perhaps until forever. If you read my previous posts, I even marked that that would be the final time her seeing / hearing from me. Not being plainly selfish here, but I ignored - because I have bulks of work to do for my exam, and secondly, I just wanna have it all now for myself. As for today, another text from her came in - about the Eid Adha which is coming really soon. ( It's a public holiday weekend here in my country. )
In a nutshell, all I can say is that, LOA has slowly changed my life. It changes my perception towards things. I had a really good laugh lately, it's like I can't recall when was the last time I laughed this hard. Lol, despite with the exam stress. But seriously, it is like a catalyst to a new beginning. I am so glad that this happened, because I wouldn't learn about it at all. "The Power" has also been my life-saver.
Much love.
Posted 3 months ago #-
Katniss
offlineInactiveHey Sweetcalendula,
Congrats on 2 months of NC!
As for the ex's mother, that's a tough situation. I remember my very first serious bf had a mother I just loved like my own. I dumped him later because I knew that he just wasn't for me, but I kept in touch with her because she was so wonderful. She didn't take his side at all but rather sided with me. She loved him but understood why I had to let him go. She also never mentioned him after the first talk post breakup. She was a pretty exceptional lady, though.
I hope your situation gets better with time. I'm sure it will, and you'll know the right thing to do after more time has passed. For now I'd take whatever advice Scott has to offer.
Posted 3 months ago # -
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHi Katniss!
Thank you! I never thought I'd made it this far. The second NC really did make such a huge awakening to me. I couldn't dwell any longer in all the negativity, I couldn't wallow on it and the most importantly I couldn't leave myself in such stagnant self-pity any more. For the umpteenth time, I have been telling myself that I deserve more than this.
It is a tough situation. She is that wonderful and she sided me as well. But I think right now is best if I keep my distance. I don't think I would reply to any of her messages.
I know my days will be better. Thank you for your words of encouragement!
Take care! x
Posted 3 months ago # -
Katniss
offlineInactiveHey SC,
Yeah, perhaps when you've reached that "infinite indifference" to your ex, which can take time, you could let her back in. But you'd seriously have to be ok with anything that happens with your ex, good or bad.
That ex I mentioned, gosh, I NEVER even think of him, it's been so long ago. I just don't care about anything he does whatsoever, and it's a wonderful feeling of freedom.
I think you and I started this particular journey at almost the same time.. I'm still behind you, but catching up fast! hahaha
Posted 3 months ago # -
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Posted 3 months ago sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHi there everyone !
How is everyone doing ? I am doing great lately, just busy arranging and packing all my things over here and will be back to my hometown for good. Life is getting better and better each day, and NC allows me to figure the little things in my life. Things do happened for a reason and the time is slowly revealing everything ! The year is ending, and hence my new chapter is on its way.
I am almost hitting 3 months of NC ! And just to let you all know that I passed my final exams ! Praise the Lord !
Much love.
Posted 3 months ago #-
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberThanks Jasmine!
Wow. It's 3 months of NC now. Time really flies! It was such a huge relief after passing my final exams! And all in all packing all my stuffs to head back to my hometown. It was saddening to be leaving the city after almost 6 years of being there, and one thing for sure and I am really definite about is that I will miss my friends the most! But life goes on, there goes the new beginning for me.
Btw, the ex texted me on the morning I was about to depart home. It was just a new year wish in conjunction with the Muslim's new year. I found it amusing in a way because I wasn't really expecting anything! I didn't respond anyhow as I was too busy with my friends dropping by to bid farewell prior to my flight.
Life is awesomely great so far, and I'm off for a vacation! Hope everyone is doing amazingly good too!
Much love.
Posted 2 months ago # -
sweetcalendula said:
Just dropping by to wish everyone a wonderful Christmas ! Merry Christmas to you Scott and all celebrating !Merry Christmas!
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
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FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 2 months ago #
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