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Bit confused on what to do now?
Spoke to my ex for the first time since completing the NC. Trouble is I was really drunk & don't even remember talking to her, not good I know. Thing is the next day in work I was told she was moving to Spain for 3months, I live in the UK. My phone stopped working that night too, but when I got it working again I found she’d txt'd me that night from her new phone number. When I got home later she’d also left a message on my facebook saying “heya u ok was nice too see u last night hope u had a good night n will hopefully c u before i move to Spain xxx.”
I have now started txtin one of my friends, girlfriends friends and asked her out on a date, which she accepted. I’ve aslo had a couple of one night stands which I’d rather leave as that. I’d love to say i’m over my ex but I do sill have strong feelings for her. She is also still dating someone else, not really sure what the best thing for me to do now is?
This is always a hard situation. I actually had to endure a 4 year long-distance relationship with my ex before moving in with him because of circumstances at the time. I think whether you let go or not depends on how much work you are willing to do and how much you think you really love her. If you feel you cannot live without this girl and she is the "one" then don't give up!! Hell..maybe the distance would solve a lot of the issues the two of you had??? You never know. Would you be willing to move to Spain for her??
Spoke to my ex for the first time since completing the NC. Trouble is I was really drunk & don't even remember talking to her, not good I know.
Yeah who knows what "drunk guy" said usually he has no problem laying it all on the line which wouldn't help you get her back...but that is spilt milk now...nothing you can do about it now.
When I got home later she’d also left a message on my facebook saying “heya u ok was nice too see u last night hope u had a good night n will hopefully c u before i move to Spain xxx.”
I would be "busy" and miss the opportunity to see her off...why?
Because she is going to be out of the country and it will be hard to set up those short (reconnection) meetings as outlined in chapter 6.
Is this other guy going with her?
If not he will be a "long distance" guy and maybe get tired of that and "move on" leaving her very much available when she comes back in 3 months.
"Is this other guy going with her?"
No he's not, might be just me but I don't think she’s that in to him. Since we finished she's been going out all the time, people are always saying they've seen her out and I've seen it on her facebook.
I would like nothing more than to make things up with her and go to Spain. But I think your right Scott, it will be hard to set up those short (reconnection) meetings & may be best to wait until she comes back.
What would you advise on how to go about any communication from now on then, I wrote back to her on facebook just saying I’m sure she’d enjoy herself and asked what she was going to be doing out there. She’s now written back!
Not sure what to do now about keeping in contact with my ex?
She leaves for Spain on the 17th. Don't think I did say anything to bad too her when I was drunk. Since then we've exchanged quite a few emails I haven’t mentioned anything to do with our relationship and have tried to be very upbeat and positive about everything I've said about myself when she's asked. She did ask; "not meet anyone yet" which I replied not yet just been having fun, but that I was going on a date with someone next week. I asked if she was staying with her boyfriend when she moved away she that they weren't really together anymore and is was only ever going to be a bit of fun. She responded to me saying about my date by saying " a date wine n dine her, am sure you'll be fine just don’t let yourself get drunk cos your always a knob when you've had a couple." I told her to F'off when I was drunk the night before she finished with me. In another email she said "I will keep in touch with you Phil, you'll always be a special part of my life. You made me happy so won’t be able to forget you hehe!! This makes me think I might have fallen into the "friends bracket" I am still 100% committed to getting back even if I have to wait 3months until she gets back from Spain.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated thanks Phil.
You made me happy so won’t be able to forget you hehe!! This makes me think I might have fallen into the "friends bracket" I am still 100% committed to getting back even if I have to wait 3months until she gets back from Spain.
You need to initiate no contact with her ASAP!
You put yourself in the "friends zone" by continuing to keep her in the loop about your personal life.
Use NC to cut her out of the "loop" and watch how things change.
If you want help about how to word your email start a new topic under How to Write Your No Contact Message to Properly Initiate NC and post your NC message there using other people's posts as examples and we will critique it for you...OK?
NC is the only way to change your current residence in the "friends zone"...are you ready to change your address?
Yeah, belive me... everyone has helped me make make my NC message and I feel almost 100% confident in it.
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