FREE BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLAN
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Free Break up Help, Relationship Advice, and Break up Survival Plan
FREE BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLAN
My ex and I were together, off and on, for almost 3 years. He is 10 years younger than me and it has been a big factor in what has made our relationship difficult. At 26, he still wants to play and party… at my age, and with a small son, I want something more low key and reliable (although I did a fair amount of partying with him during the bulk of our relationship). We talked about marriage and having babies often. He was adamant that I should be his wife only and no others should have me. At the beginning of this year, 2011, our relationship began to break down badly due to us moving to a new city, my job changing and his reconnection with high school friends as we moved to his hometown. We have incredible passion for one another and have stayed in contact (seeing each other intimately), while not actually being in a committed relationship, for about the past 6 months. He sees others, I see others… neither of us is happy with our findings so we run back to each other… back to the passion that leaves us both pretty breathless. Like an addiction to a drug. The text that brings us both back is always the same… “I miss you.”
My ex is a compulsive liar and, while we were together, had attempted to cheat on me, but I caught him before he was able to follow through. I would get angry and we would have a huge fight and then we would reconcile within a few days and I would believe his confessions of love and faithfulness to me. And then it would happen again. I now believe that he has an addiction to female attention and feels he must have many women wanting him... and thinking of him. He doesn’t really seem to have any standards anymore because the women I know about are not attractive and many have petty jobs, live with their parents (what is with the generation of 20 year olds these days?), and sometimes, small children that their parents are raising as well. It’s almost insulting to me because I am very attractive, smart and independent… I just don’t get it. What I do understand is that, to him, I represent actual responsibility and am a grown up and, although I know he really wants to end up with someone like me (or ME actually), because he comes from an amazing family and his parents are wonderful to one another so he knows what it looks like, but he’s not ready to settle down yet… although I hoped and hoped and hoped for such a long time that he would begin to cherish our connection and realize how rare it is. Anyway, 12 days ago I found out he actually has a “real” girlfriend he had been hiding from me. When I confronted him he apologized and said he just wasn’t ready to give me up but he guesses now it’s time to do so and move on. I was so angry and hurt that I contacted his girlfriend and let her know he had not been faithful to her. She initially thanked me and broke up with him. I saw him that evening and he thanked me for doing the hard part for him because he said he didn’t really want to be with her and he was so happy to have only me, but I found out he called her the next day and, he’s such a sweet talker (unbelievable… it’s so crazy), that she took him back. I haven’t contacted him since. This has been the single most difficult thing of my life. I’ve even been divorced and it doesn’t come close to how low and sad and worthless I’ve been feeling. In addition to dealing with him, I’ve also been coming to realize that I may not have what it takes for everyone else’s “regular plan” of husband, children, house and playing wifey. This has also been difficult to understand because, until I met my ex, I was convinced that I would live a “normal” life and be a couple and have other children. It’s actually been heartbreaking for me to come to terms with this. I feel as if I’m living my late grandmother’s life… she was bitter toward men and died alone.
Over the Christmas holidays he sent me several text greetings, but I ignored them. I also gave away all the other items he had left at my house so as not to have any reason to see him or contact him. I just want to move on but I think about him ALL THE TIME and I CRAVE HIM. I was hoping to have become stronger in these past 12 days of not giving in, but I just feel sad and lonelier than ever because I really thought… truly believed… that I had found my soul mate… that we were one of the lucky few couples who found true love and an overwhelming love at that. This addiction had controlled me for so long that I don’t know how to stop wanting him.
I am hopeful this forum will bring me the guidance I need to move on and get my life back.
shapingup Welcome to our forum!
Now that you have shared your break up story, take the next step...
Make sure you have read and completely understand our forum guidelines BEFORE you post anything else (if you have any questions about them PM me). Because I mean every word I wrote and you will get banned if you refuse to follow them...understand?
YOU MUST BE READY TO FOLLOW THE FREE PLAN EXACTLY, AND SEND THE RECOMMENDED NC MESSAGE WORD FOR WORD.
IF YOU'RE SCARED TO DO THIS AND WANT DEBATE ABOUT IT, YOU WILL BE BANNED FROM OUR FORUM.
THIS FORUM IS NOT FOR DEBATING WHETHER YOU SHOULD OR SHOULD NOT FOLLOW THE FREE PLAN...WHY?
IT WILL DRIVE THE OTHER MEMBERS, AND MYSELF CRAZY, AND BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN PROVEN TO WORK, IF YOU'RE NOT AFRAID TO USE IT CORRECTLY.
P.S. The people who have evolved the fastest, and progressed the most are the people who have been very active in our forum. I suggest once you get your evolution started that you do the same, and experience the same magic they did.
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