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Samxarra's Break Up Story
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I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy PolicyPosted 5 months ago samxarra
offlineMemberMy ex and I were happy. We believed we were made for each other. We had lots of fun together, did things together and shared our good and bad days together. We also have intense chemistry, respect and admiration for each other.
5.5 years. Sometime last year, we broke up over a silly incident, but made up again. My ex came clean that he the break up (then) was not just about me coming by late, rather it was issues that were boiling up. He and I are of different religions and races. Although, we both don't have an issue with the race, we knew we had religious differences.
My ex talked about getting married and raising a family, then. Of course we talked about it and I made it clear that I am willing to adopt an interfaith marriage. He however, is very adamant that he cannot do that because he wants his future (children) to be raised, schooled, educated the same way as he did.
He allowed me to keep my practice. Although he claims he respects it, it shows then, that he felt uncomfortable because he was afraid that the children will follow my faith to which he objected.
So we split up again in November and made up a month later. In June this year, he sent me lengthy emails saying we should be married by early 2012, but he wants me to agree and adopt his religious ways. He even showed me the ring.
I thought it through long and hard, but I just couldn't (for reasons that are too lengthy to go into details). I did give him time to clearly think about how we can compromise in this situation.
He came back and said that we can never be separated but I needed to do things his way. Thereafter, things started to get rocky. His attention span dropped, he didn't call me much, saw me less and worked more. We do things together in the weekends as much as we could. He told me he's still thinking about things and told me, it's difficult to move forward if I don't go his way. He keeps saying he wants to marry me and have children, but he ran away from coming to a compromise.
Sometime in October, we argued and he left for the weekend away. He told me 'I have to get away, sorry.' I let him go. He returned back and we spent a few weeks together before he left for a three week work trip. I rang him up on his birthday mid-November and it seemed cordial.
I then realized, that during the last 1.5 years, I have wasted my time, waiting for him to think through resolutions for compromise. I fooled myself, because he didn't want compromise, he wanted his way. He didn't want to talk things out with me, but instead he ran away from facing all the issues. His treatment of me went from hero to zero. He didn't call much, he didn't show much attention or care. He only cared about talking of himself and how it was only 'do this, or you don't get this.'
He put me on a string. I was the comfort he had, but he didn't want to move ahead in life with me with a compromise. I was physically available for him, but I could feel I have emotionally detached myself from the relationship since June, as the emotional upheavals and boiling issues were not resolved. I resented him for not weighing my needs and treating me far less than I deserved over the last 1.5 years. He only wanted what he wanted, and he showed no compromise although his words and pleas were too sweet for me to let go, then.
I finally picked up the courage to leave him two weeks ago. I left him because it hurts too much to be treated far less than I deserve and I also know that this relationship has no future, as long as he wants his way. I left because I refuse to waste anymore time (I'm not getting young). I left because I was already emotionally detached and tired of going back in circles. I also left to give him opportunity to meet a woman who can do eveything he wants in his way in a marriage and raising children.
I do love him, but I love myself more. I have to let go to allow myself a chance in a relationship that is build on solid principled and working with compromises.
Keep calm and carry on.Posted 5 months ago #-
Make a hole, we have another corpse on our hands! 
Now samxarra's "old" dead relationship needs a proper burial, and a headstone of course!
OK get a shovel and bury the past (baggage), from here on in it's a new day.
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R.I.P.
Here Lies
samxarra's Old Relationship
5.5 Years
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This just means your "old" relationship is resting in peace, now it's time to work on giving birth (so to speak) to a stronger, better relationship having learned from the past, and not by living in it.samxarra Welcome to our forum!
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