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Serendipity - NC diary
(150 posts) (7 voices)-
Kick-Loves-Ass
Posted 2 years ago -
Serendipity
offlineMemberNC message sent via Text and Email
hi,
I agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.Posted 2 years ago # -
Serendipity
offlineMemberSo this morning I didn't wake up the crippling pain I did yesterday as I knew I would be waiting on a promise to call that wouldn't and didn't transpire. He didn't respond to my No contact message, but he clearly doesn't want contact either or he would have rang, right. So he isn't having it, I think I'm aware that I boost him a bit, even if he doesn't talk to me back, but there is no boost for me just pain. He may or may not sort his life out and deal with stuff properly, but I have to sort mine out. I have things I need to do, children I need to care for. It's hard not hearing his voice and I'm sure that will be reciprocal. The difference now is I am in control, not of him but me. I want to be happy, that's the bottom line, when I'm happy my children are. He has made his bed so he lay in it. I have felt sorry for him too long, I can't help him. But I must help ME. Exactly 4 weeks from our break up and this is day 1 of my 2nd attempt at no contact. I miss him but I miss me more.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Kick-Loves-Ass
If you really want to know how he feels, and you really want him to know how you feel - talk to his heart.Posted 2 years ago -
Serendipity
offlineMemberQuestion for Scott. Am I on my own in this forum? I have been reading people's stories and some are 7 years old. I was hoping to find a buddy. Also a lot are closed. I will still continue to update my diary. I like your rules they are a bit of an arse kicker, reading them made me smile
Posted 2 years ago # -
Pixietru said:
Am I on my own in this forum? I have been reading people's stories and some are 7 years old. I was hoping to find a buddy. Also a lot are closed.People haven't been joining a lot lately.
Why, I don't know, maybe they can't handle my rules?
You can always PM any "active" member who isn't blocked, or inactive (for breaking the forum rules), and ask for advice.
If they don't answer, try someone else until you get some support.
Try Pming xBlueMasquerade, or MVC, they were the latest members to post.
This is a "real" forum, and you can get excellent support, but, you have to put some work into it.
Keep up the good work, and...
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
"If you don't think finding true love is worth risking a broken heart, then, you don't deserve it."
FREE Step-by-Step BREAKUP SURVIVAL PLAN
Click Here to LEARN "ADVANCED RELATIONAL SKILLS" TO GET YOUR EX BACKPosted 2 years ago # -
Serendipity
offlineMemberI haven't contacted him today or wanted too, I will be honest and say that I have wanted him to contact me, i think I want to feel like I'm ignoring him. I've done more today then I have in weeks. Like I got out of my room, I cleaned up a bit, it doesn't sound massive but it is believe me! My teenage kids have litrually tore the house to pieces in my moments of self pity. They need me and all I have focused on is him. I feel or felt sorry for him, I always have. I spoke to him the day before I sent the no contact message, he sounded shit, new job as a Jr. Dr, as well as dealing with relocating and the break up. I iniated the contact, he reciprocated, probably half heartedly because he is too 'nice' or passive to tell me to fuck off. We spoke for half an hour, mainly about his job, he was stressed I offered advise, he asked about my life I gave him, it's ok, good, great etc, so no detail apart from I told him I miss him, immediately he responded I miss you too, I miss talking to you. He ended the call with I'm tired can I call you tomo, 'I'm at work, I lie' I'll phone after he says. I felt this fake sense of happiness, all night, I'm a fool. I woke up feeling stressed, agitated, I had fucked 8 days of no contact to make that call. It got to lunch time and I was freaking out, what if he doesn't call. Then I text him, hey I think we need to talk in persons with mutual respect , none of this passive aggressive nonsense, he goes to write a reply but doesn't, I send a second text 'not replying when you were gunna could be considered passive aggressive, instant response 'yes we can meet, I'll talk about it tonight' that call never came. I called him once, then I text him, just saying that why say you'll call and agree to a meeting, you are allowed to decline. No response = no respect. WHY COULDNT HE TELL ME TO FUCK OFF OR JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE? I suppose he did when he broke up with me hey. I've been thinking about the NC message, it says don't contact me, I freaked out for a millisecond. I thought long and hard about following the plan and joining this forum. I think I wanted to test the water by contacting him before I joined, I wanted to see if he had blocked, I wanted to see if he was miserable, I think I achieved that, he sounded shit, worse than I sounded. For year this man has freaked out and chosen the path of least resistance. He probably thinks that I will always be there, after all we were apart for 3 years and he got me back, and he bloody hurt me, just to do it again. People say he can't love you enough if he is willing to do this, that maybe true, but I believe it's deeper than that, I think he has some personal issues he MUST resolve relating to his overly controlling mother. I thought I could take his hand and help with that but I can't. I have hindered his progression because I became a doormat, I accepted his bullshit and allowed him to keep us secret, I've done that for 8 years on and off. He is 33 years old, it's mental! I miss him like bloody crazy but he is such a coward, I would fight for him, but why? I don't even think the man is willing to fight for himself. He is low, he is depressed, he is full of guilt, 1) for lying to his dragon of a mother for years 2) for hurting me and my children yet again. I want him to feel every bit of sadness he can, I want him to get angry, not at me but at himself and at his mother. He doesn't like arguing, he wants an easy life, WELL life ain't like you twat, arguing is healthy. Btw we didn't argue really, we got on as long as the conversation wasn't 'heavy', if it was heavy he would go to sleep. Right as I write this I imagine he is asleep or trying to be. He doesn't deal with stuff correctly, he is passive so he will be thinking, he always is. SO what is the point contacting him, he won't talk, he probably won't listen. I feel a little bit angry right now, I don't like being angry, but I think it's a necessity. After this vent, i feel better. I don't want to talk to him.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Kick-Loves-Ass
If you miss her "real bad", and you want to get your ex-girlfriend back, you need to take a look at this.Posted 2 years ago -
Serendipity
offlineMemberRight I have officially achieved 24 hours and that is with no urge to contact him, sure I've checked my phone to see if he has attempted to contact me, he hasn't but that's good cos if he does that will test me and I can't be arsed with that. I have had arguments with my 15 year old daughter tonight, this isn't negative though, it's been useful as she has given me her views on the situation. She is a gobby little shit but she is wise
I feel lighter, that might be the glasses of wine i have consumed, but not because I was sad but because I like a glass of wine or two. I never drink when I'm sad, in fact I rarely drink. I just wish I found this forum 4 weeks ago or 5 years ago on the first major break up. I done so much surfing over the past 4 weeks I accidentally came across this, it's a good send. I love that I can get shit of my chest especially as I've been here so many times before, my friends and family are shit bored of it. I'm gonna be an avid user. I think this forum is genius, thank you Scott. However I can't be the only person in the world that is going through this right now that agrees with the rules. I wish I had no contacted his arse straight after his disrespectful it's over text, man I wish that was my reply! I read MOMU after he shat on me 5 years ago, I knew what to do but still I acted like a doormat!
Question, if I previous purchased it can I get it again for free, login or something??I have decided that I'm going back to work this week! I'm a nurse and I love my job, I'm bloody good at it. My life is going to get better I know it. Yeah I'm not the 'Dr' his mother wants him to marry but so what. A Dr couldn't do his job without a bloody good nurse. I'm a fantastic nurse. I aimed for that because I love helping people, he aimed for his career because it was a part of narasstic mother's plan! I live my life to please me and my children. Not my mother, why because I am a grown up.
I hope someone joins soon so we can share this exciting journey, if not I'll talk to myself, ha I'm cool with that, it's helping loads already
Posted 2 years ago # -
Serendipity
offlineMemberI woke feeling totally crap this morning, that smashed up heart pain litrually all over my body. I didn't sleep very well, really struggled not to think about him and what the relationship was like. I already see it wasn't healthy. We were together for probably 5 years out of that 8. 2 chunks of 2.5 years and we never lived together. We broke up 4 times in total. Even when we first got back together this last time round, he broke up with me after a month or two, because, this is interesting, I was strong, I told him when we first spoke on the phone that I wasn't willing to be with him unless he assertive himself with his mother. He was due to come to mine at new year but instead went home 200 miles away and text me to tell it was over. I NC him for a measly 3 days, he phoned and spoke to me daily for 3 months, he said he was very stressed because of his exams and that is why he ended, plus he said he told his mother and she kicked off. The truth I don't know if he did, not telling her seems the easy option. Anyway that strong women I was on that phone call was clearly gone, he broke me down. I wanted him more than ever, I wanted to help him. hello here I am again the doormat. Don't get me wrong he wasn't obviously horrible to me, we were beautiful together, it felt natural to be in his company he was always very complimentary even when we split up he told me I was beautiful, sexy, funny and clever and he likes me but just ain't right for each other. Why did I let him have me back on his terms again? I really have work that out. I have these three theories about our break up 1) he always knew that he would do this again so everything he said were lies, therefore he manipulated me = he was emotional abusing me. 2) he really wanted to do all the things he said like move in, babies, but his mother manipulates him= he is emotionally abused and I am by proxy. 3) as he once said to me during the break up, you make me say and do things I don't want too ie I manipulate him = I'm the emotional abuser.
I think today's revolution is that dead relationship was Emotionally Abusive. I understand the importance of not just looking through rose tinted glasses today. As much as it hurts I will evaluate this properly.Posted 2 years ago # -
Serendipity
offlineMember48 hours achieved with NC. I'm up and down like a yoyo, I cried a little bit earlier but it was short Iived, I'm fed up with shedding tears over him. I do feel empowered by the NC decision and message. He hasn't replied, he is either respecting it or he doesn't believe I can stick to it. I really need to learn that it's not about him it's not even about hearing from him, it's about me evolving past this hurt and his BS. I don't think he will ever contact me again, I think he may have finally learnt he can't be what I need him to be. This has been freaking me out a bit, cos at this moment in time I still him to care. Tonight I've been looking at other peoples diaries, they are very interesting especially as some go back years and the progression is comforting. I'm yet to see a diary where the ex didn't make contact in some shape or form, what I find suprising and comforting is that it is often unwelcome, I am looking forward to the day I feel indifference.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Kick-Loves-Ass
If you miss him "real bad", and you want to get your ex-boyfriend back, you need to take a look at this.Posted 2 years ago -
Serendipity
offlineMemberI've reread the plan and the rules, I realise I was negative on my last post. The NC is about me! It's not about ignoring him so I shouldn't feel disappointed that he has not made contact. Tomorrow is going to be a better day. I'm going to join the gym. I'm going to spend time with my horses. I'm going to embrace life, fully! Life is way to short to sit around moping over an indecisive prick.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Serendipity
offlineMemberToday I woke up feeling pretty emotional, I think it's the first day I have realised that what we had is actually really over. Because it's always been on and off I have struggled to accept it as he has previously popped back. This time is different, he hasn't maintained contact like he has done previously, moreover I haven't begged him as much as I did before. I recall him saying this time that I seem to be handling it better. Don't get me wrong I did beg and plead, I wish I didn't. But tbh I don't think that behaviour ever made a difference. Last time we split, I was 'crazy' I hacked his emails for months, I drove myself nuts and he found out, but he still came back. I suppose this time will test both us, he has always dropped me when it's time to get serious like telling his mother (he never admits that's the reason though). I know and his best friend knows the truth. His friend told me to move on and let him make his own mistakes, he said people don't change and there is nothing he or I can say to change his mind because he is to stubborn, he said maybe one day when he is old he might realise his mistakes but it'll probably be too late, he said he doesn't thinks he will never go against his mother, this hurt but it's true isn't? Because he has broke my heart over this same again and again (I spoke to his friend before the NC message) I have since deleted him as well as deactivated my social media accounts. I understand that I need to accept its over without expecting him to pop back. I know he will miss me but he is stubborn, we could never be friends because we are too deeply connected, if we see each we will be together it's unavoidable, that's what history has taught me, so he will avoid me, out of sight out of mind, if that makes sense. I think he will respect my no contact message because he knows how much harm he causes.
Today I have contacted work, I have requested shorter shift just to try and establish a better routine, i.e I normal work 13 hours but that leaves me with loads of days off. I'm seeing my manager this week and I will return to work next week. I'll be in everyday weekday but I'll have time after work to do fun stuff that I enjoy, like ride my horses, go the gym, see friends and enjoy my children.
I realise now why I may have tolerated this substandard relationship for so long. I was in an abusive relationship for 8 years before. He was top end of the scale aggressive. Took me a lot of time to escape, even after I split with him he tormented me for two years. He ended up in prison so I ran. I met my ex when I was still picking up the pieces of relocating with 4 young children. He was the polar opposite of the violent prick, it was like I had gone from Evil to Angel. He does have the appearance of an angel, but he has hurt us so many times, selfishly because he was worried about his relationship with his mum. If he was that Angel he would only have hurt me once then he would have stayed away if he knew he couldn't be the man I wanted.
Anyway it's only day 3 of NC, so it's early days isn't it. I will one day get married and and have a nice life with a good man that thinks I'm important, and one that isn't afraid of flying because I'd like holidays and to live a bit.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Serendipity
offlineMemberAlso I have messaged a few other users for support, I'm yet to get a reply but I'm ok with that. Patience is a vertue. Without this forum and the free plan I would be on my own as my friends are bored of it, they are all a bit 'I told you so' which isn't particularly helpful although true ha. I'm reassured that someone is reading this, I know you will be Scott. I read one of your comments to a user that broke no contact due a religious spring festival. You let her have it, again it made me smile! If I'm going wrong Scott please shoot me down, this is a great forum, even if I'm currently the only person venting.
Laters
Posted 2 years ago # -
Kick-Loves-Ass
Posted 2 years ago -
Pixietru said:
I read one of your comments to a user that broke no contact due a religious spring festival.Everyone can always find an excuse to fail. I want people to find a reason to succeed.
Here's one...
Helping other people.
Even though there aren't many active members, there are plenty of "lurkers". These people write to me sometimes and tell me how reading other people's NC diaries have given them HOPE, when they thought they couldn't go on.
By sharing your struggles, and positive attitude, you are helping others, while helping yourself.
You are NEVER alone on this forum.
Keep up the good work, and...
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
"If you don't think finding true love is worth risking a broken heart, then, you don't deserve it."
FREE Step-by-Step BREAKUP SURVIVAL PLAN
Click Here to LEARN "ADVANCED RELATIONAL SKILLS" TO GET YOUR EX BACKPosted 2 years ago # -
Serendipity
offlineMemberI have just had a phone appointment with a therapist. We are lucky to get free support in the UK. I'm going to begin some cancelling then move on to some CBT as I know my current mood is more to do with how I manage situations like this rather than just a break up. I started anti depressants just after a week of breaking up. I'm not recommending that everyone should do this just on a whim. I decided to because I have previous experience with 'breaking up with this guy' and I did not cope well the last time. So in theory I chose medical support as a preventative measure because I WILL NOT LET HIM DESTROY again. I am worth much more than that, plus my children need focused and on the ball. If I loose that focus I loose control and kids love it when they can take a mile, that won't help my evolution. Anyway I feel that talking stuff through with someone that is paid to listen may help, so what have I got to loose. For years I have told my ex he needs therapy but he's to proud to do it, if he had he may have seen what a manchild he actually is and the women that is actually hurting him gave birth to him.
To my ex and his narsatisic mother I hope you are happy together.
Onwards and upwards, one day at a time!
Posted 2 years ago # -
Serendipity
offlineMemberI'm feeling pretty shit this evening. It's hard to explain this feeling, it is a bit like restlessness, but I'm not moving about, it's like internal restlessness. Ive tried to sit and watch crap tele, it helped a bit. I spoke to my dad on the phone, he has been great but he really wants me to attach to the anger. I really find being angry at my ex difficult, he does deserve it though.
I tried a bit of yoga today, never done it before, I just watched a YouTube tutorial video, it felt nice to be focusing on myself. I'm going to do that everyday for a week, I'm just practising a bit so I don't fall over and make a twat out of myself when I Join a class
I have also managed to find a free copy of 'the secret', I started to read it, at first I was a bit sceptical but actually when I think about the LOA, a lot of it makes sense. I think I have had many personal experiences where I have thought something bad/good would happen, and it's unfolded how I thought it would. I do know the power of positive thinking, I just need to put more work into positive actions. I feel a bit like I'm talking the talk but not walking the walk. Which I suppose I am a bit. However it is only early days, I need to remember that, and not to be to hard on myself, after all Rome wasn't built in a day! I have made small steps, and each tiny step is a positive one. The biggest possible decision I have made this week is to stop contact. It's so very hard, especially as talking to him feels like the cure. I feel like an addict! Like I need my fix! This forum is helping me focus my withdrawal. Hopefully tonight I will sleep better.I found this quite it's from the Bible, I'm not religious but I liked it
I want honest people in my life
“No one who practices deceit will dwell in my house; no one who speaks falsely will stand in my presence.”(Psalm 101:7)Posted 2 years ago # -
Kick-Loves-Ass
If you're considering reconnecting with your ex, after NC. You should take a look at this system. It never hurts to learn more about relationships, how they work, and how to maintain them.Posted 2 years ago -
Serendipity
offlineMemberGood morning to all the 'lurkers' and members. I realised today that all these negative thoughts are getting me know where. I love my ex and I know he loves me, but he needs to evolve as do I. Maybe one day he will grow and stand up for his happiness, I can't do that for him. I'm in control of me and me only. It's a beautiful sunny day
I'm sat in the garden with a cup of tea, there was was one big feather and a tiny one on the ground, I have decided that was a gift. That bird must of got away, cos surely there would be more hey, or even a corpse. It's not an eagle feather it looks like a pegion feather but still it escaped the claws of the cat that tried to take it down. So there's hope for us all. Positive thinking is the only why to go.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Serendipity
offlineMemberI think today I have maintained quite a positive outlook, I've thought about him a few times but I've banished the thoughts away. I sat in the sun reading the Secret (free download) which I've finished, I did read half of it and think 'I'll manifest him back' I even put thought into it. I read on and realised that that's not the point. It's about now and tomorrow and not past and it's about ME, no one else. He will have to do his own thinking, he's quite negative so he's in for more of that back. I want to feel happy in fact I am happy, today I AM HAPPY!
I'm now reading the Power (I couldn't manifest a free copy thou, I tried ha). I think I quite like reading, I don't really read or I didn't except stuff I had to for my degree.I have had a good tidy up of my beautiful home. Still lots to do as I have neglected it a bit, the washing pile is out of this world! Imagine 4 women and not washing in weeks, every material object we own is in that mountain, my mission is on!
I'm also eating more, I'm actually feeling hungry. Tonight I'm going to read and relax and tomorrow I'm going to be grateful for everything I have.
TTFMPosted 2 years ago # -
Serendipity
offlineMemberToday the positive outlook has been challenging. I am still reading the The Power. I have decided that I can't make myself be angry with my ex, he controls his own life so he makes his own decisions, I can't do that for him plus It would be wrong to try. That's why it's important to not beg and plead, it's disrespectful to their decision as well as undignifying to yourself. I done that for 3 weeks. Don't get me wrong, I don't agree nor like the way he went about stuff, I don't think lying to a person is correct, or waiting until a milestone day (like moving in day) is fair. I also don't think lying for weeks whilst he tried to work his own feelings out was fair or so he could get through an exam was kind or respectful, he held important information partaining me, my life and children for his own gain, I should have had the chance to disembark based on honesty. None of this is his fault, I mean he is immature emotionally, for what ever reason, he has to live with his choices and if he chooses not to develop and enhance his communication skills, he will attract this situation repetitively, he is only going to hurt himself in the long run. I love him for his kind nature, his gentle touch, his interesting outlook, his encouraging words and his beauty, however all that isn't enough, I wanted and will have a bit of bravery, a worrier, I want my man to wrestle that wild bore for me and my children because we are hungry, I could do it myself but I don't want to breaks a nail
Thus far he is respecting my NC message, I am respecting his decision to break up.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Kick-Loves-Ass
Hey, I read about this on one of those relationship sites, the other day. It said something like, if you are ready, and you want your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (no matter why you broke up and even if they’re dating somebody else now) you need to check this site out. I did, and I thought it was really interesting.Posted 2 years ago -
Serendipity
offlineMemberFeeling heart broken to the realisation of how much this has impacted my children. I cried a lot but not over him but them. My 15 year old has been telling me her point of view, holding no punches. 'He left because of us mum, he never wanted us he only ever wanted you'. She recalled a time when she was little that she gave him a Father's Day card, she said that he look awkward and disappointed, I don't remember this, she said he split up with you a few days later, she said that she thought it was her fault for giving that card. 8 or 5 years is a long time in children's lives, he was an important figure to them, and woosh he's gone, nowhere to be seen. My poor children. Anyway they are my main focus, I love them to bits, they are beautiful and they need me to show them how to be strong women. My son is a respectful man, he learnt that from not acting like my ex. He wasn't happy that I got back with him. He is a wise 20 year old, I should have listened to him. There is so much love in my life, I need to embrace that, I have a grandson that I need to snuggle and bond with. At 37 I'm a young grandmother
Posted 2 years ago # -
Serendipity
offlineMemberI am really struggling right now, it's definitely a down day. I feel like I'm writing on here too much. I'm not going to break NC, as much as I want to give him a piece of my mind.
Scott, in my break up story I explained that I moved into a more expensive house, too expensive for just me working. Me and the children have only been here for 3 months. The plan was that he moved in a helped with the rent. He did agree to pay some of the rent until I can be realeased out the contact. I think I may have sent the wrong NC message or maybe I shouldn't be worrying about that. He has my bank details so he can just transfer which would be the kind thing to do. I suppose I should just wait and see.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Pixietru said:
I suppose I should just wait and see.Sounds good to me.
There is a version of the recommended NC message that takes into consideration shared financial business. Basically stating, your ex should only contact you about these financial obligations, and nothing else.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
"If you don't think finding true love is worth risking a broken heart, then, you don't deserve it."
FREE Step-by-Step BREAKUP SURVIVAL PLAN
Click Here to LEARN "ADVANCED RELATIONAL SKILLS" TO GET YOUR EX BACKPosted 2 years ago # -
Kick-Loves-Ass
I was lurking in another forum the other night, and this woman was talking about Valentines day, and how her man never does anything "special" for her, anymore. She was seriously doubting if he loved her anymore, and was asking for advice on how to tell if a guy still loves you. This one woman answered her, and told her about this video she watched. It explained the best way to discover if your man still loves you, without him even realizing that you're asking. I checked it out, myself, it's pretty cool.I think this might be the best way to tell if he still loves you.Posted 2 years ago -
Serendipity
offlineMemberOk so I'm going to wait and see. He is not due to pay it in until the end of the month. I think he might use that as an excuse to contact anyway. He was before I started no contact. He refused to agree with it unless we spoke about it civil on the phone. He said if I couldn't be civil with him then he wouldn't pay. I think I need to relax and just ride this out and focus on me. It's only £200 i will have to work overtime if he's going to be a prick about it.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Serendipity
offlineMemberIm having a shit day. I want to contact him, I keep worrying about him, it's crazy cos clearly he ain't worrying about me. I WILL not contact him, this no contact is for the best, it for me, I know it is but its so very difficult. I think I'm more bothered by the fact that he hasn't attempted to contact me because he doesn't care. I wish I didn't care, I wish I hated him. I verbally ended with him in June because he just wouldn't talk and was being a flake. I nearly used my walking power twice on that visit because he was being withdrawn and refusing to talk. He begged me not to break up with him, he said everything will be ok and that it was a fixable rough patch. on reflection I should have walked with my head held high, give him the experience of being dumped. He said after the break up that he didn't want to marry me or have a child, I said why did you say you did, he replies if I had of told you I didn't then you would have ended it, Yes I would have but wasn't that my right. He's a cunt! He used me to succeed with his career, I supported him through his finals, now he is this amazing Dr, there's no room for little me. For a supposedly Christen guy he is excessively selfish.
Anyway, rather than message him, I've told you guys what I like to say to him. I like to tell him that he is a selfish cunt! I'm the opposite of that, I am a kind and honest person, I didn't lie to him, I was always honest.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Serendipity
offlineMemberI feel a zillion times better after that rant. It was negative I know, but I needed to let it out. Life has so much else to offer, he may or may not climb out from under his rock and man up, me however, IM GONNA MAN UP! I'm beautiful in every single way. I've got a lot of love to give so I'm gonna give to every deserving human or animal. Sending my love to others in pain
Posted 2 years ago # -
Kick-Loves-Ass
Posted 2 years ago -
Serendipity
offlineMemberI've just been to the local supermarket, as I get in the car I see some guy who looked like my ex driving past, I didn't see him properly but my ex has mad hair, he is loosing some so it thinner at top and raging round the sides. He normally wears a hat because he is in baldness denial. Anyway I looked at the guy as he drove off he didn't see me, then I looked at the car. I have never seen his car but I know what make and year. It wasn't until I looked at the car that I thought hey that might have actually been him. I live in a village, so there would be no need for him to come near here. Maybe it was him, maybe he has down a drive by, who knows.
On a positive and certain note, I'm having a glass of wine whilst watching movies and eating cake with my beautiful daughters. I'm going to replace those pounds I have lost during my break up fast. I'm hungry for food and I'm hungry for life.
To any serious rule abiding 'lurkers' join me! Let's do this like Pros together.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Serendipity
offlineMemberDay 6 of NC. I've toyed with the idea of blocking his number today, I decided against it as there are some financial issues, if he attempts to make contact on that basis I think I'd like to know.
Today I have read 'Why men love Bitches' it's a good read. “THE “HOT-AND-COLD” RELATIONSHIP
When he’s “hot,” he is manipulating you. When he’s “cold,” he is showing his true colors.”I wish id found this stuff before I reengaged in another hopeless relationship with him 2.5 years ago. I have made lots of the 'nice girl' errors. I have done bitch too, but I needed to be more consistent!! I will be consistent, always!
I'm going to take the authors advise and just stop thinking about him, it's as easy as that. When he comes to mind I'm going to think about something much more worthy or do something much more interesting.
Today is the first day where I have thought 'I don't think I want him back' he has been the bane of my life for years. This is an opportunity, I am free!!
Free from worry, free from his overly complicated mother/son dynamics, free from his negative outlook. I'm very empathetic, I absorb negativity like a sponge, he bought me down quite a bit. He was lethargic at life, worrying about stuff out of his control like 'amorgeon' preparing mentally for germ walfare to the point he contacted scientists to find the trick to creating longevity in canned foods. Don't get me wrong the man is a scientist so this may have been the geek in him, but seriously doesn't that shout out paranoia? He had certain categories of TV viewing, he wouldn't budge, it we documentaries usually partaining to Doom, peak oil, or how to survive an apocalypse. We live in England man, we get rain, lots of it but that's it, no earth quakes, no killer spiders, the scariest thing about this country is our government. Sometimes I want to watch a chick flick or Bruce Almighty.Anyway I dont need a man to be happy. All I need to concern myself with is my independence and my happiness, I AM NUMBER 1 (and my kids)
I'm going to sit and watch Bruce almighty right now because I bloody can. I'm not up for chick flicks just yet and to be fair they ain't really my thing. My point with that statement was relationships are about compromise, you ain't going to find an exact image of yourself in a partner, why would you want to? Unless you are a narasistic moron. I'm unique and wonderful
Scott, Is there any other books you recommend?
Posted 2 years ago # -
Pixietru said:
Scott, Is there any other books you recommend?Here's a thread about movies, books, and songs.
http://www.howtokicklovesass.com/topic/inspirational-movies-and-songs
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
"If you don't think finding true love is worth risking a broken heart, then, you don't deserve it."
FREE Step-by-Step BREAKUP SURVIVAL PLAN
Click Here to LEARN "ADVANCED RELATIONAL SKILLS" TO GET YOUR EX BACKPosted 2 years ago # -
Kick-Loves-Ass
I read on some of the no contact diaries that they found working on their relationship skills, really helped them progress during their personal evolution. A lot of them recommended the ex solution program, it goes over a lot of important factors that can help you understand what went wrong, so you can avoid repeating those mistakes, in the future. I am so glad, I got it. The section on Advanced Relationship Skills helped me the most. I learned about things I never even thought about before.Posted 2 years ago -
Pixietru said:
Thank you. I thought I had been all over this forum but clearly not. I will look harder before I askThe ass kickers lounge is where stuff like this gets posted, but, you never know when a subject will pop up on an NC diary, and just go on and on.
I don't have the ability to remove parts of a topic to a new topic, to make it easier to find, so you just have to keep reading, there is 7 years worth of stuff on this forum, written by people from all over the world.
Hidden gems everywhere.
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
"If you don't think finding true love is worth risking a broken heart, then, you don't deserve it."
FREE Step-by-Step BREAKUP SURVIVAL PLAN
Click Here to LEARN "ADVANCED RELATIONAL SKILLS" TO GET YOUR EX BACKPosted 2 years ago # -
Serendipity
offlineMemberToday is day 7, one week. I won't pretend it has been easy because it hasn't but one week is a milestone. Now I need to stop counting because as I'm counting I'm still in theory waiting. What exactly am I waiting for? Hearing his voice will only bring disappointment and I don't need that anymore. I miss him but I think I miss the routine of talking to him as we spoke for hours every day. I will not put my self in that dependent position ever again. Any virtual contact I have with anyone in the future will be limited to half an hour max. If he (whoever he is) wants more of me, he will have to show me with actions rather than a telephone sales pitch. I will continue to up date on here when I need too but my main focus is on evolving and becoming a BITCH, a consistent BITCH. Days pass slowly when you're waiting, counting= waiting. I don't need to wait for anyone. Tomorrow is a brand new day, it's the first day my life is truly going to begin to evolve. I'm letting go off the old and inviting in the new. I'm going to count every blessing I have instead of counting everyday of no contact. life is too short to wallow in self pity, I had a dream, it may have included him but him walking away doesn't destroy my dream, it gives me the opportunity to succeed at it. It gives me the opportunity to become independent and to become the selector. Eventually I will select exactly what makes me happy, but first I must love myself more than anything in the world, because when I can do that I'm a BITCH, that doesn't accept BS or becomes a doormat but instead remain the driver of my own journey. TTFN XX
Posted 2 years ago # -
Serendipity
offlineMemberi know by me writing on here that I am helping others 'lurkers' but I would really love some support back from others. Does that sound selfish? Sorry if it does. I love reading the NC diaries and everyone chipping and helping members through their difficult situations. I hope new members or old members come to this forum. This forum is an amazing idea, built out of compassion for others. It's a breath of fresh air. I think I would do a good job at encouraging others too, it's in my nature.
Posted 2 years ago #
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