FREE BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLAN
I will NEVER sell, trade, rent, or give away your information to any third party.
I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy Policy
[closed]
NeoSoul's No Contact Diary!
(77 posts) (21 voices)-
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
I will NEVER sell, trade, rent, or give away your information to any third party.
I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy PolicyPosted 7 months ago firefly_composer
offlineInactiveWow ... I just read your Diary from begining to end NeoSoul. What a rollercoaster ride! I think the problem with breakups is people fool themselves into believeing that they are healed when deep down inside they still ache for reconsiliation.
Scott nailed it when he said "You are focusing on getting your old relationship with your ex back, and not on your life."
The past is irrelevant, there is nothing we can do to change it. The key is to focus only on the now and your wonderful future. Stay strong NeoSoul, I may be the new guy here but I'm always available if you need to talk ...
Sending you lots of good vibes!
If you're in it for love, what could possibly go wrong!Posted 7 months ago #-
NeoSoul
offlineInactiveUPDATE!!
So, while he and I were conversing when he was on vacation, he bought me a few gifts. He said back then that even if we were to be mad at one another or break-up, he'd still give me those gifts no matter what, because they were mine, and no one else's, point blank, period. Anyway, he passed on those gifts that he bought a couple of months ago to his friend yesterday, to give to his wife, to give to me....what a jerk. After all the embarrassment in front of my family and all the tears and all the suffering, I'm supposed to accept? After he's walked all over me and got married...keeping me on a string? Anyway...it's been a month since his arrival, I don't know why he's only decided to pass it on now. He keeps playing with my emotions. I told my friend to pass on the message to her husband to tell HIM that I've refused it..that I do not want it...
I don't understand why he's doing this. HE'S A MARRIED MAN.
Posted 7 months ago # -
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHey Neosoul,
It's pretty odd. But you are doing the right thing for refusing it and hopefully it is sent back to him. That is why NC and this plan are saving you from being stringing on along with his games. You deserve to be treated more than this.
Stay strong you can do this. x
Posted 7 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 7 months ago I would say...since now he's a married man, then it's time for you to be stronger and focus on your ownself.
Let him with his game.
because clearly he still tries to contact you while keeping his wife by his side, he disrespect both his wife and you. just my honest opinion.
You can do this and get better. *hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 7 months ago #-
firefly_composer
offlineInactiveNeoSoul said:
I don't understand why he's doing this. HE'S A MARRIED MAN.
I think the answer to your question NeoSoul is pretty cut and dry. More than likely he and his wife got into a major spat. He needs a security blanket just in case things go sour. Guess who's it?
I've seen this happen too many times including to myself. Forget the bum, he's not worth your time, you can do so much better!!!!!
I applaud you for rejecting the present. Shows you are getting stronger every day ....
If you're in it for love, what could possibly go wrong!Posted 7 months ago # -
NeoSoul
offlineInactiveHe is a sick man. I don't care what you promised me. Does he think this is a form of respect? By upholding your promise? What's the point, there are a million other promises pending approval...and you've disrespected me to the ultimate degree. In front of family and friends. BS, just BS. I should set the gifts on fire and lay it on his porch.
Posted 7 months ago # -
NeoSoul
offlineInactiveUPDATE!
Life's been well, as always, amazing. I can now officially say that I can go a day(s) without him running across my mind. It feels wonderful.
I did end up returning the gift, and God knows how that made him feel, but he needed to know I was serious. He knew the old me would accept anything and everything, and would never ignore him nor put him in a predicament where he would feel as such, a loser.
Anyway, well after the gift returning...It's now been what? Almost 3 weeks?
I received an email...
It was an email with a bunch of different articles...of religious benefit. It wasn't an email just sent to me...he sent it out to his friends, because I looked at the list and knew who it was sent to. This is the same man who deleted me from any source of communication, and pretty much told me to stop emailing him and wanted NOTHING to do with me. After that day he sent the email, he noticed that I hadn't replied (to his shock and amazement, because typical old me always replied). 2 days later (today) he sent out 3 emails one after the other with other articles.
I've known this man to always send out beneficial things and reminders...I know that after our break-up, he had stopped...but low and behold, he's trying to get me to budge. I haven't replied, nor do I ever plan on doing so (However, I did have this swift thought of replying and saying, "Hey, are you sure your wife approves of this")? Honestly, I'm tired of it. I don't know what his intent is, nor do I understand what he's trying to do..
And to think, marriage would've been a barrier to a man going after what he wants, even if it be a woman who isn't his wife.
Posted 6 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 6 months ago NeoSoul said:
I did end up returning the gift, and God knows how that made him feel, but he needed to know I was serious.Great Job NS!
Actions always speak louder than words.
Keep up the good work!
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 6 months ago #-
sanity_fair
offlineMemberYou did great, NS! I think you're evolving well. He misses you now and probably realizing his mistake. Don't let him win. This is your time to soar and show him your worth.
Keep it up!
Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.
Vaclav Havel, Disturbing the PeacePosted 6 months ago # -
willsucceed
offlineMemberNeoSoul, I really enjoyed your short post about how you felt about his gift. Really true--he was not showing respect and you were right to be miffed about it. Good job on sending the gift back and keeping NC.
I am green with jealously about you not thinking about him for a day or more. That is wonderful. Good job with getting your life back and sticking to your guns.
Posted 6 months ago # -
NeoSoul
offlineInactiveThanks guys, I appreciate it.
Not much of an update, but just that this man is going insane with the emails. I've received about what? 19 or 20 emails in the last week about, "articles of benefit". I mean yeah, sure, they might be beneficial...but really, what's the logic and reasoning behind his awfully-played mind game? He once deleted me, and what? Now I'm all of a sudden back on your emailing list?
I really dislike his character, I really do.
Posted 6 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 6 months ago -
annabelleloka8
offlineMemberHello NeoSoul,
Haha..I thought he doesn't want anything to do with you anymore after your break up and here he is begging for your attention yet again like a little baby waiting to be fed. He's making an even bigger fool of himself now that he's married..he is a coward. He's pining for you yet again. Stay strong and don't move an inch. I love the fact that you sent the gifts back...you are kicking loves ass like anything and its starting to eat him up. Your actions and strength are helping a lot of people like myself on the forum.
Posted 6 months ago # -
NeoSoul
offlineInactiveThanks guys!!
It makes me wonder...because he isn't just sending ME the emails, but also to his friends....if he sincerely wants me to benefit from these articles?
But if that were the case, why did he block AND delete me to begin with? I mean, you need to manually punch in someones email after initially deleting them, which has me a bit confused. Why now? Why all of a sudden after my rejecting your gift and TRYING to move on with life?
Mehh, humans will be humans, I guess.
Posted 6 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
*LIMITED TIME OFFER! - Get a 10% Discount on Your First LivePerson Session*
Posted 6 months ago NeoSoul said:
It makes me wonder...because he isn't just sending ME the emails, but also to his friends....if he sincerely wants me to benefit from these articles?How "sincere" can a man be when he is married and flirting with his ex girlfriend?
Don't let him abuse your email with unwanted spam, report his emails as spam.
Or better yet, send him the NC message again with a request to take you off his fucking email list, that should drive the message home.
Subject Line: I Need to Talk to You
Hi,
I would REALLY appreciate it if you stopped sending me emails. (and then the whole NC message from the beginning)
This guy is a selfish dickhead.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 6 months ago #-
NeoSoul
offlineInactiveHey, thanks. Your words are truly uplifting and motivative.
It's been hard the last few days, and I don't know if it's because a woman is more emotional during her cycle (myth or not? hmm), or if it's because I'm going through this phase of reminiscing and longing for what was and not what is. I find it completely absurd that we went from complete addiction and needing for one another and spending time out near the lake just laying for hours on end, to this. I don't know what it is, I don't understand it, but it hurts.
It's this gravitational pull toward something that is damaging me, internally and externally.
I was making a U-turn the other day, and low and behold, he was right in front of my car talking to someone else at this conference. I know he knew it was me, but my headlights were probably striking him with difficulty to notice anything. Seeing him that day made me very, very emotional. What was going to be mine for the rest of my life in marriage, now belongs to another human being, another woman, and it's very, very devastating to know that all the effort, all of me that I've put into being able to create the "us" is....I don't know? I can't even explain it. I know he still has a piece of my heart somewhere, and I don't know if he feels the same, but time will tell. Indeed, it will.
Posted 6 months ago # -
willsucceed
offlineMemberNeoSoul,
I know that you are hurting tremendously right now. I am truly sorry, because I have had the same heartache and pain.
What do you have in place to support you and get yourself through the hurting times?
Remember that these feelings, although strong, won't last forever. You are wanting the familiar and the dreams and separating is hard, but necessary. I know I work on it every day. You had an intense experience and yes, you are going through withdrawal. It is better to go "cold turkey" than to have it dragged along longer with more pain in the end.
Remind yourself during these times what you are doing to get your life back. You may not want to be getting your life back at this very moment of pain, but it helps to know that there is a life after this and that you are working to make that the most fulfilling life possible as you move into the future.
I think that hormones are powerful molecules in the body, and it sometimes helps to remember that the intensity of your emotions may be driven by them at times. But you still have to go through the emotional times. Remember your gratitude list, remember that it these feelings don't last forever, that you will get through this, and that it will get better. You'll reach the point of indifference to him and open yourself to a wonderful and smarter relationship in the future.
Posted 6 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 6 months ago *big hugs* I am so sorry to hear that. I really can relate to you.
there are times we feel real good, there are moments we feel 'okay' and sometimes 'slightly down' and there are times we felt we plunged back to the early days where it hurts a lot.
give yourself some time, and the more stronger you get, the more easier you'll bounce back. You have all the support you needed here.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 6 months ago #-
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHi Neosoul,
I totally feel you. There are some low days that totally hit you one time. Perhaps it is a resolve to your inner strengths. You are one strong beautiful woman and with time, you will pull through. Yep, sometimes during the PMS it certainly influences your mood in a way. But don't let it ruin you the whole way.
Take care. Xx.
Posted 6 months ago # -
Katniss
offlineInactiveHi NeoSoul,
I can totally relate. You deserve an emotionally mature man who will put all the effort into creating the "us" for the two of you instead of you having to shoulder most of the burden. Guess that's why they call guys like these "ass
's" by comparison. Hope you're doing better today in any case. Time fades pain. Keep staying strong; you can do it!
Posted 6 months ago # -
NeoSoul
offlineInactiveHello wonderful people,
So, it's been about 3 and a half months of NC, soon to be 4, hopefully. Life is still progressing, and so are the emails from him. They might die down for a day or two, but they're up and running again right after. I'm living and breathing, but some days are worst than others. Some days are unbearable, to say the least, and others...well, I have the luck of not thinking about him.
I feel it all gets easier for me when NO ONE around me mentions him, I don't see him, I don't receive any emails from him AND it just seems like he doesn't exist to me. As soon as I come face to face with progress, it starts to plummet because I've seen him somewhere, received his emails or his name is mentioned, for some odd reason.
The other day I was surfing the net and read an article I was very intrigued by, only to scroll to the bottom to see it signed off by him. My heart fell to my stomach, and I've no idea why. I don't know what it is.
Maybe I'm subconsciously assuming that he's indirectly trying to contact me, but it's his only means and excuse, because he's lost every other chance, and it would be hypocritical of him if he did otherwise (i.e. tried to personally email me), simply because when we broke up he told me to never email nor call him...that he wanted nothing to do with me, and that we had no business communicating with one another.
Thanks to those who provide advice, feedback and virtual love. You've been of much benefit in my progress and I'll definitely remember you.
Posted 6 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 6 months ago willsucceed
offlineMemberNeosoul, it sounds like you need to outright block his emails. Since you know that any contact or reminder of him hurts you, which we all understand, then even seeing that he's sending you emails is upsetting. It seems best to not even know he's sending them. You are doing the right thing to not get entangled with him since he's married.
He is showing something pretty serious about his character to you that is a good thing for you to know. What if you were the one married to him and he was sending her emails? You would be in as much pain as you are right now.
Posted 6 months ago #-
NeoSoul
offlineInactiveUpdate!
So, it's been almost 5 months, well, in January. I still think about my situation often, but with less desire and longing for him. I've got a lot of aspirations that are just going from blueprints to reality, and I'm quite content, to say the least.
He's still sending those daily articles and I've got two pages full of just his emails. I'n his eyes, I've pretty much fallen off of the face of the earth. I've maintained NC, and plan to continue.
I've two facebook accounts. The one that I use daily, and one that's just sitting to the side connected to my main email account (that he emails and everyone else emails me on). This Facebook account has zero friends and zero activity, I guess I decided to make it a few years back and then gave up, however it IS absolutely private, so if you aren't my friend, you'll never know its an inactive account with no activity and no friends.
So anyway, guess who decides to punch in my email, search for me and add me as a friend on Facebook? Yup!
Mr. married ex.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 5 months ago -
NeoSoul said:
I woke up with this strong unimaginable urge and desire to reply back to one of his emails, and I don't know why. It's impossible to explain. He did me horribly, yet this urge still resides.This is why you should be deleting all communication (email, texts, letters...etc) you get from your ex, and then you won't be thinking about it.
You can't evolve and move forward if you keep holding onto the past.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 5 months ago # -
willsucceed
offlineMemberI strongly concur. It only does bad things for you to be getting these frequent reminders about him. Block his emails. It is hard to do, but unless you really want to have an affair with a married man and settle for being a side dish, then continuing to receive his emails is just self-inflicted pain and a block to your growth and ability to find someone you can respect, trust, and love and who cherishes you openly and fully. He can't do that as a married man. What do you want out of life for yourself?
Posted 4 months ago # -
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHi Neosoul !
I agree with SW and Willsucceed. It's best if you could cut off the communications. I know how you feel, it's like, after all what he did and now he's draining your emails and attempted to add you in FB. It's not that you have not forgiven him or anything, but I know the mind wonders like " What is his purpose of doing this now ? " and that makes you to have that urge to reply him to really find out what he really wants from you. But after all you know right now, he's married and you just want someone who really deserves you. But then again I guess it's best to keep your mind open about all possibilities as long you are always on the right track to get your life back first ! Always put yourself first !
Stay strong and positive ! Much love.
Posted 4 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 4 months ago NeoSoul
offlineInactiveHey guys,
It's been quite the bumpy road, but I can officially say I'm over him. I no longer need, long or feel like I want him, to say the least. Anyway, life's been progressing and I'm looking into doing a ton of things with my life. I'm trying to do some stuff abroad, so hopefully that works out for moi! Nonetheless, he has now jumped the ladder and messaged me on Facebook. We're not friends on Facebook and haven't been for more than 2 years. He messaged me with some video, and I guess he's expecting a reply? Mehh, I don't know, but that's what REALLY got me questioning his motives after he put a halt to all those emails he's been clustering my inbox with. Muahaha! I now know he's creeping me on Facebook. Is it now time to block him through there as well?
Some feed back please!
Posted 4 months ago #-
willsucceed
offlineMemberNeoSoul, yes, unless you want to be reminded of him and be tempted to reply, then block him from the site that shall not be mentioned. It's really just better for you to not be receiving these reminders from your married ex. Even though you're doing much better, remember that we are all vulnerable when the chips are down in our own lives and we then want to reach out to them. That is more likely if you are getting all these reminders about him and therefore he is staying front and center of your mind.
Posted 4 months ago # -
Tirofbs
offlineMemberSW, i apologize deeply for doing this but, this one needs some tough love. And she asked for the feedback too, so here it goes!!!!
NeoSoul, Just contact the bastard and get it over with!!!! This whole time you have been complaining about how he's emailing you. People in the forum told you to block him. Yet you still allowing him to send you crap!!! Now he's trying to befriend you on FB after SW ask all of us to delete all FB accounts!!!!! Talk to him and let him dump you again, so that you can see for yourself that he's only trying to make you roll over like a good dog he thinks you are!!!! That way, you will get your feelings hurt and see the bastard for what he is.... A BASTARD!!!! And YOU, his doormat where he can pee on whenever it's convenient for him. There is a word for this disease.... Masochist. Sorry for being so harsh, but you really need to get the truth without someone candy coating it for you.
Posted 4 months ago # -
NeoSoul
offlineInactiveHi sweety,
The next time you think you’re giving legitimate advice, do it with the sincerity of knowing the actual purpose of it. I mean, I understand we’re all broken, in some aspect, but really?
Firstly, I haven’t had facebook for quite some time, and when I DID have him as a friend on it, it was 2 years ago. I no longer have the same name nor identity. I haven’t posted on here for 3 weeks, have you witnessed my recent mention of him via email? I’ve been told to block him, and that’s what I did, you fool. I had zero idea he existed on facebook, and when scott RECOMMENDED we delete our facebook accounts, it was just that, a recommendation. He and I are NOT friends on facebook, nor do I HAVE friends on facebook who can possibly update me with anything on his life, and had that been the case, I would’ve known he existed on it.
Oh, btw I’m sorry, if you haven’t noticed, I’ve been in progress of a SUCCESSFUL NC plan for 6 months, so your gimmicks and BULLSHIT antics of trying to virtually anger me by the stupidity of your notion is….. ridiculous. Save that crap for someone weak enough to bask in anything you think you might need to utter.
Stop making an attempt at weak advice. The volatility in any of this advice is doing so otherwise. I was wondering if I should block him for not speaking to me, but for sending me a video, that’s it. So please, save yourself the embarrassment of assuming anything you say has any atoms weight of significance.
And if I do get removed from this site, then yes, I acknowledge my mistake of even MENTIONING facebook. As for you, I fear for those who took any bit of advice from you and your bitterness.
Posted 4 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 4 months ago MarilynsFan
offlineMemberTirofbs was only trying to help.
I now know he's creeping me on Facebook. Is it now time to block him through there as well?
Some feed back please!
You asked a question that seemed to have an obvious answer. An answer you've been given before regarding another form of communication so Yes, block.
I was wondering if I should block him for not speaking to me, but for sending me a video, that’s it.
Why would you NOT block him? If you got the recommendation to block him from emails, obviously facebook would apply too.
In fact take it from an outsider because I only recently read your diary, it seems most of what you do is maintain NC yet post about every time how he emails you and you just can't stand it. Or how he found you on facebook and you can't hide. A person that wants ZERO contact doesn't have to ask such questions like "should I block him through there as well". The answer is yes..block him from everything.
I'm impatient, insecure, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. - M.MonroePosted 4 months ago #-
Tirofbs said:
see the bastard for what he is.... A BASTARD!!!! And YOU, his doormat
NeoSoul said:
The next time you think you’re giving legitimate advice, do it with the sincerity of knowing the actual purpose of it.She did know the purpose of it, it was to wake you the fuck up.
She is right.
How many times are you going to rehash "the drama" with your "married" ex boyfriend who, although still married keeps trying to contact you.
Block every way he could contact you, and if he persists, contact the law and tell them he is stalking you, because he is.
This guy is scum, and the fact that after all this time you refuse to acknowledge it (completely) without coming back here with "yet" more news about him tells me you're wasting your time here.
MarilynsFan said:
Tirofbs was only trying to help.I now know he's creeping me on Facebook. Is it now time to block him through there as well?
Some feed back please!
You asked a question that seemed to have an obvious answer. An answer you've been given before regarding another form of communication so Yes, block.
I am glad that I am not the only one to notice when people do this.
This is the kind of shit that drives me crazy, and made me close our forum a couple times so I wouldn't lose my mind.
It really is simple advice.
If you want to keep your fingers, don't stick them in the fan while it is running.
If you want someone to stop stomping on your heart, you stop handing it over to them, right?
10 months after joining our forum, you are still pretty much in the same place because you refuse to let go of the past, and move on...your choice.
You seem to love the drama, so enjoy it.
Somewhere else.
Buh-bye!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 4 months ago #
Topic Closed
This topic has been closed to new replies.