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*MelanieStryder's NC Diary*
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I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy PolicyPosted 11 months ago MelanieStryder
offlineMemberThanks so much, everyone! I'm really happy that my story inspires so many. It wasn't too long ago when I was in your shoes. I was the one looking for support. I know what it's like! I thought I'd post an update now that the tables have turned
After the reunion date, I hung out with my ex two days later. Usually I wait much longer than that, but I figured one exception wouldn't hurt. I chose to see a movie, and he acted differentely than the first time. His hand was open as if to say "hold me!" but I waited it out. Eventually, he took my hand anyway. I remembered that he loves it when I rest my head on his shoulder (I guess it makes him feel manly or something) so I that's what I did...and he kissed the top of my forehead! This was more entertaining than the movie. He was such a sweetie! From asshole to sweetie...that's what NC will do! Looks like he evolved waaay sooner than I thought.
After the movie, we had time to kill so we parked somewhere to chill. He really opened up to me. He has problems going on in his family so I just listened. What he said was really sad so I hugged onto his arm to comfort him. He totally loved this because he hugged me back. Our faces were close, so we ended up kissing for the second time. The "spark" has definitely been rekindled...which proves it can be brought back! I pulled back but he just kept leaning into it haha. I only give him little snippets before I pull away.
I accidentally called him "baby" on the way home - whoops! I said, "Sorry that was out of habit" and he said, "No, no it's ok! I like it!" haha.
now I haven't contacted him in over a week
I'm still going strong. One of our problems was seeing each other too much. It triggered fear of commitment in him for a short time. so I think taking a break in between dates is essential. I'm expecting him to say something on Tuesday because that's my birthday.I haven't acted on the laptop offer. He's really looking forward to that (secretly). I think that's dangerous territory for me right now. If it's slow I'm looking for, then that's not the best idea for me. So, nope, I haven't been to his house.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about whether I should take him back. I haven't talked to him about it in detail yet. There's a chance we would have a LDR for college, but I don't know if that's a wise decision for me. I'm not afraid he'll find someone new, or that he'll be unfaithful. In fact, he'll hold on and never let go. He's already lost me before! I just wonder if it'll hold me back at all...
And now I could use some opinions...
The "new boy" mentioned in a text that he was going to ask me to prom in the future, "just a heads up." I have been avoiding him, but now it's time to face it. I don't feel comfortable going to dances with him because 1) it leads him on and 2) he gets too personal. For example, he'll pull me really close to him in a slow-dance, and I find myself pushing to keep some distance.. it's really not a good idea for me to go with him.
Honestly, I'd love to go with my ex. It'd be special because we planned on it last year. And after a break up, it'd be cool to keep that promise, you know? and let's say I didn't take him back for some reason..it'd be a sentimental way to close my time with him.
I thought about saying that I want to go to the dance with another friend now..but what would you say?
Posted 11 months ago #-
MelanieStryder said:
And now I could use some opinions...Be honest.
Tell that "new boy" NO.
You don't have to go with him, if it isn't fun, what's the point?
Go with a guy you're comfortable with, or don't go at all.
Don't like society tell you what to do, it is your life.
If you are comfortable going with your ex go with him.
If you date someone, that doesn't mean you took them back, does it?
Don't make things so complicated, life wasn't meant to be complicated, just abundant, full of love, and amazing.
Don't let high school peer pressure bullshit stop you from living an amazing life.
Listen, in the end if you and your ex do not work out, it wasn't because either of you did anything wrong, it was because it wasn't meant to be at this time, that's it.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
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Posted 11 months ago -
MelanieStryder
offlineMemberMy ex-boyfriend is in LOOOOOVE
In the beginning, I never would imagined getting my ex back. I'm no different than you - you can easily get to this point if you work at it. I followed the plan, even deviated a little..but I got back on track immediately. He thinks I am the perfect girl for him. When I asked, "What are you looking for in a girlfriend?" he said, "You!"
He texted me happy birthday this week. Haaa I knew he would. I went 2 weeks without talking to him, just to starve him a little. I saw him tonight, and I decided it was time to talk about getting back together
He was cuddling me close and said, "ah I wish I could do this more often..." talking about the days of when he was my boyfriend. That's when I said, "You can...if you treat me right..." You should've seen his face! His eyes lit up and he beamed! Was I actually giving him a chance?! No waaay
Little does he know that I've wanted this! That's another reason why NC is brilliant. It leaves your ex in the dark while you craft your master plan, muahaha
For all he knows, I'm taking him back as a favor. He started to tear up a little out of happiness (WHOA!)I told him things were going to be different this time around. I'm not settling for less than I deserve. If I get any half-assed treatment, I'm going to take action. As in I'll leave. I'm not sitting around like last summer. I want him to communicate soo much better this time. Stuff like that. I've spent my time in NC learning what went wrong in the past relationship - this step is critical!
He was extremely SWEET after this! Yeeah I got mah baby baaack! He hugged me closely and kept saying "I love you, I love you" over and over again. I let him kiss me and his words turned into jibberish! hahah he couldn't even talk right, his mind was spinning like crazy. He said he must've been in Heaven and I was an angel (so cheesy but I love it! hahah) So I got the sweet boy back! We're not boyfriend/girlfriend yet, but we're on our way
He promises to be sooo much more loving and caring and affectionate, all of those happy things. I asked what kinds of things he'd do differently, and he said he'd take me to romantic dinners, bring me flowers, all of that stuff that I ADORE! He never did that before, but I always wished he would.
He didn't get into his top college sooo we are going to be 450 miles away from each other! Ouch. I'm really not worried about it though. I can live happily without him. If it's meant to be, then it'll work out one day. It's not my fault he didn't get accepted into the more convenient university. So we're going to see how it works and re-evaluate things before we leave for college. Odds are low, but if we've survived a breakup, we can handle anything! He'll do whatever it takes to have me back for good and treat me right. He really thinks I'm the best girl he's ever going to meet. We'll try it out. If it doesn't work, then it's because of our circumstances..and those change in time.
DO NOT DOUBT THE PLAN!! Just go for it!! You have nothing to lose!! I was the most heartbroken and lost girl when I joined this forum. Not only did I get my ex back, but also I'm stronger than ever. Just do it!
Posted 11 months ago # -
MelanieStryder
offlineMemberI asked my [ex]boyfriend to write me a love letter for this weekend. We are still going strong in the honeymoon phase so I didn't expect him to turn me down. well, I just received the letter today. he listed 15 things he likes about me, with more saved for later. I'm astounded at how many of these were produced from my evolution... I'm very thankful that I took advantage of my NC time as well as I did! I improved both my physical appearance and emotional strength during NC, and he has really picked up on them. I won't write all 15 but I do want to highlight the ones that he has noticed which I specifically worked on during NC! maybe it will give you all some ideas?
- my new shiny white smile (I whitened my teeth during NC hehe)
- the cute clothes Im wearing these days (I updated my wardrobe & wear more feminine clothes now)
- the perfume I wear (I wouldnt have tried perfume without NC haha)
- how I always have something in mind to do (thanks MOMU - wouldnt have it without the breakup)
- my physique (he can tell I've been working out. I hired a trainer during NC and I kick ass in every session)
- how I keep myself busy (I've been meeting more people and having fun without him haha)...and more. these are minor things but the point of this post is to show you that your ex WILL notice your self-improvements during NC! if you've been slimming down, or getting a new haircut, or dating new people, your ex will sense it...so work towards the new and improved you, and you will be radiating!
more than anything, your ex will sense your HAPPINESS from afar. just work towards your own happiness every day, and things will fall into place.
Posted 10 months ago # -
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Posted 10 months ago -
MelanieStryder
offlineMemberhey everyone! I thought I'd write a quick update - it's been weeks!
don't be alarmed, but there are times when I second-guess my decision to get back together. no, it's not because he's acting out of line. the breakup just showed me that there are even better guys out there. and I feel like I have a lot of growing to do as a young adult.
I've read other success stories, and some people have suffered these second guesses. I suppose it's natural after having been treated poorly already. in the end, I truly am thankful for the breakup!! these days I wonder, "is there someone better for me out there?"
The answer has got to be yes. as of today, I don't plan to stay with this boy long-term.
he's fun and we're enjoying each other, but my heart still feels like a free spirit.you see, he shouldn't have broken up with me if he knew what was good for him.
I've now met better guys and I've realized that I've got a looong life to live. he is my highschool sweetheart, but he's not my soulmate! I'm happy with that.I'm so thankful I was given the chance to get back together with him. the fact that we got back together is truly rewarding. it just proved that this forum was worth the time and patience. I'll see how he treats me throughout the summer - and if it's unsatisfactory, I'm probably calling it quits. maybe I became a little too independent of him
he's taking me to prom this Saturday and I feel like he's going to try to make it a special night. he has no idea that I'm thinking about calling it quits after the summer, but I'm sure he'd flip a shit if he did! I'm no longer dependent on him.
I've been considering certain personality traits which he doesn't have. I know that you can't change a guy's personality - it's useless to try. this is why I'm wondering if there's something better out there. this is a total learning experience for me, and I wouldn't change a thing about what has happened! I'll let you know what I decide as far as our relationship goes.
I know that my breakup was meant to happen. I compare this mentality to the one I had a year ago, and I'm pretty proud of myself, haha. I wish I could tell myself that 9 months ago, but I wouldn't have believed it anyway.
if there is one thing you take from this post, it is this: do not give up on your current circumstances. all I wanted to be was happy. I'm finally happy - not because of him - but because I got myself back on track.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Janice
offlineInactive -
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Posted 9 months ago MelanieStryder said:
I'm finally happy - not because of him - but because I got myself back on track.Great Job Melanie!
Always remember you are responsible for your own happiness, no one else is.
You are also responsible for keeping yourself on track and inspiring others.
That is the key to kicking life's ass.
And, that is the key to a long happy life.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 9 months ago #-
MelanieStryder
offlineMemberWow!! It's getting closer and closer to one year since I joined this forum! One year will be in late July! I am fascinated at the new perspective I have gained in such a short amount of time. It's kind of fun to think about where I might be had I not joined this forum. But I don't focus on that for long, because the results I see today are very real and well-deserved from my patience and determination!
I feel like I have another chance at a fun summer with dude! Last summer, I really wanted to go rafting, skydiving, wakeboarding, etc but our relationship was unraveling quickly in June. That's when I started getting clingy which only catalyzed the breakup!
Now in June 2011, a whole year later, I'm not afraid of losing him at all. Haha it would be his loss!
I'm most excited about the different perspective HE has gained. The 4th of July is our holiday, and now he's saying things like, "we have to do something special!" whereas last year he tried to break up with me on that day! I told him I wanted to go rafting, so this summer will definitely make up for the shitty summer I had last year. I will be able to do all of the things I had wanted to do.
I'm still debating whether I want to keep dating him. I'll decide in August
for now, I'm very pleased at how everything has turned out. Sure last summer sucked, but this summer will be the pay off! It might've taken a year, but I say it was worth it! One year flew by so quickly. So this is just me reflecting on who I am today versus who I was a year ago. I definitely like the new me, but I'll never forget the summer of 2010 when this forum really kicked my ass back into gear!!!!
I get nostalgic memories of talking to the very first forum members I ever had! good times (minus the whole break up part)I consider the messages I've sent to forum buddies as steps of my evolution. It's all right there. I can look at the first message I sent and cringe at how weak I was, and then I read the most recent ones and see that I'm the one giving advice instead! And all in between, I can see myself slowly but surely peeling away from the heartbroken girl I used to be. It's so rewarding to see that progress!! So use these tools on this forum as best as you can.
I'm so happy these days so whateva! Keep up the good work everybody!!! The results DO come if you want them bad enough.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Donkey
offlineInactiveHi Melanie! Your story has inspired me so much, and you are a living testament to following the plan to the letter. I was excited to see that youd just posted - it`s like having a celebrity guest here.
I was interested to see in this latest post that you will be considering whether to end your relationship in August. Im fascinated to know why?
Thank you so much for everything!
Donkey.
Fan the flames of desire with the bellows of indifference.Posted 8 months ago # -
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Posted 8 months ago Confidence
offlineMemberI agree with Donkey & timeheals! I am so excited that you posted as well. I read your entire story the other night after Donkey recommended it to someone else. Donkey's becoming the Oprah Book Club of the Forum
I'm so glad he suggested your story, because it's incredibly inspiring and you are SO YOUNG! What a gift to have evolved so early on in your life. Watch out, World. Here comes Melanie!Best Wishes!
Posted 8 months ago #-
MelanieStryder
offlineMemberDonkey said:
I was interested to see in this latest post that you will be considering whether to end your relationship in August. Im fascinated to know why?Thank you so much for everything!
Hi Donkey! I'm only entertaining the thought of breaking up because I wonder if there's an even better boyfriend out there.
curiosity of the possibilities has me second-guessing my decision. I mean, who knows who I'll meet in college? Anyway, he is a fabulous guy and he's head over heels about me, so he's great! But I've become soooo damn confident in myself during NC that I'm not going to settle for any boy who isn't 100% what I'm looking for. I'd say he's 90% and I'm wondering if there's a 100% boy out there..So he's good, but not perfect! 
..yet, anyway.Today he was talking long-term with me. He was talking about how he's going to make visits to me during college, haha. He definitely is interested for good! He said he'll never love another girl except for me, but will I love another guy other than him?
hehe ..that's all! and you're welcome for sharing my story!timeheals said:
I love how much control you have now Melanie...No one can bring you down! Would love to hear your insight into my situation if you have time. You are an inspiration!!Donkey is so right - it's like having a celeb guest!!
hi timeheals! I plan to write on your NC diary very soon
I read your break up story & diary. I've been super busy this week but it's definitely on my to-do list. You're right, nobody can bring me down, haha! It's a great feeling. Normally I'm a soft-spoken girl but when it comes to boys, I'm not putting up with any more bullshit ever!!Confidence said:
I'm so glad he suggested your story, because it's incredibly inspiring and you are SO YOUNG! What a gift to have evolved so early on in your life. Watch out, World. Here comes Melanie!Thank you so much for the kind words! I'm totally flattered that you all consider me celebrity-status! That's so nice of you! but I'm just a normal girl, you know
I've been so busy this week but I plan to get active on this forum more and more. I have read all of your NC diaries so it's just a matter of time before I write some posts. Things with dude are running smoothly and I'll write a proper update in the upcoming week!
Posted 8 months ago # -
vailaval
offlineMemberYou are an inspiration young lady! Your drive to gain happiness on your own is an eye opener. I have never met anyone as strong willed as you are, living it up as you should in your young life.
Congratulations to realizing that there are better things out there. You deserve the best and never settle for less.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Crunchie
offlineMember
with everyone here. You are so amazing Mel! Thank you so much for sharing your story and journey with us!! It's not wonder so many people refer to your diary because it is truly inspiring and wow factor! Congratz on coming so far and we'll be waiting for an update!!
I don't get jealous when i see my ex with someone else, because my mother always told me to give my old toys to the less fortunatePosted 8 months ago # -
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Posted 8 months ago timeheals
offlineInactiveMelanieStryder said:hi timeheals! I plan to write on your NC diary very soon
I read your break up story & diary. I've been super busy this week but it's definitely on my to-do list. You're right, nobody can bring me down, haha! It's a great feeling. Normally I'm a soft-spoken girl but when it comes to boys, I'm not putting up with any more bullshit ever!!I cannot wait to hear your insight into my story. At the moment, I am waining between relief and confusion with my situation, but I am still very much in love with him!
It is very true that there may be someone else out there for you, will be a hard one to weigh up after all the effort you have put in!
Posted 8 months ago #-
MelanieStryder
offlineMemberI've come up with a plan to decide whether he's good enough for me. haha hooray!
but first, thanks, vailaval! thankfully, I realize I was going about my past relationship all wrong. I was too nice and let him walk all over me sometimes. but those days are gone because of the support I've received on this forum.
thank you too, Crunchie! and you're welcome! it's been my pleasure to post my story. I'm so happy it inspires you; it's my way of giving back to this community here. and timeheals, I agree it will be a hard one to weigh the truth, but I'm not afraid of it. I know it will work out the way it was meant to work out. that's why I'm so chill with the possiblity of saying buh-bye to him!
so here's what I'm thinking. I told him that it'd mean the world to me if he would make July 4 special for us this year
I kinda want him to have a secret agenda for the day..or something like that. I didn't tell him this part but I'm really holding my standards high. if he exceeds that expectation, then I'll stick with him! If he half-asses it, then game over I basically told him that he's done a good job as a boyfriend so far and I like what I see..but it would be a bonus if he could go out of his way! ideally I'd want him to do this more often, but whatever he's just a boy
I went sky diving last week & if he really does a good job, I'll take him skydiving for his birthday! wooohoooo!
but I have faith in him!! he's really in love so he better try as hard as he can to make me happy that day hahah. I can live with or without him just fine... so he will either make or break his chance with me! I really look forward to it to see what happens. who knows. hahah I'm in total control!
Posted 8 months ago # -
briana
offlineInactiveMelanie,
I also love your story. I am amazed at how strong you are. What I would have given to have your insight when I was your age (I'm now 27) and I am even now struggling to find it! You really are an inspiration and I hope I can follow in your footsteps. Any advice you can give me with my situation would be greatly apreciated as I definitely need it! Thanks for sharing your story!Posted 8 months ago # -
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Posted 7 months ago Georgeh-1980
offlineMemberHello again Melanie,
I just want to post and say that you are great!!!
Your story is a good one and it has helped more than you know. Especially in those early times where I just felt lost. You have helped to pick me up and stick with this til the end. Thanks for everything.
It's good that you hold your standards very high now. I will follow your lead. There is no reason anyone here should lower themselves in order to please anyone else. Great job Melanie for being a strong woman.
He had better go out of his way or it's definitly his loss. You really got nothing to lose at this point. The burden is on him now to man up and take action.
MelanieStryder said:
I went sky diving last week & if he really does a good job, I'll take him skydiving for his birthday! wooohoooo!You know that is kinda funny to hear. There is another woman on here that went skydiving to and she is great. Her name is Kittykat. You should read her story sometime when you get a chance.
Is it me or do all the hot babes on this forum seem to go skydiving? Crazy women I tell ya. LOL.
Take care!!!
Posted 7 months ago #-
beyondthenorm
offlineMemberThumbs up to you, Melanie! I found you fantastic! Despite your age, you were able to get through amazingly! I've been visiting this site around 2 weeks ago as a guest. And your story and diary is the 1st that I was able to read completely. And it struck me big time! If this young lady can do it with flying colors, why not me???! I am more matured than her, so I am expected to be stronger. If you were able to redeem yourself, stand up for yourself, evolve fantastically, I as well can do it!
Congrats to you! You're an inspiration to everybody!
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
It doesn't matter how slowly you go
as long as you do not stop.Posted 7 months ago # -
MelanieStryder
offlineMember
Yeaaaaah!!!Happy anniversary, NC diary! I'm celebrating because I joined this forum a year ago!
I had no idea how much of an impact this place would have on me. I'm so glad my desperation did some good and landed me here! There were times when I was sure I was going to get booted along the way, but thank goodness I wasn't! I'm SOO excited because I'm about to leave my hometown in 2 weeks and move into my college dorm! My college career is about to launch off, and I'm SO READY for a new location, new friends, new lifestyle and a new beginning! This moment felt like soo far away last year...it's so cool to know it's finally arrived! My aspirations are high and I'm so so so pumped! I'm preparing to move out really soon so things are busy over here.
I'm very content with how I feel these days; I don't need anyone but myself. and I don't WANT anyone but myself. Boys get in the way! I have 234978239 goals to accomplish in the next 4 years, and making a boyfriend happy is the last thing on my priority list. I kinda miss being single! No drama but my own to deal with.
My boyfriend and I spent 2 weeks together on vacation in early July, and it was great! We drove through 4 states total and accomplished so much each day. It was great fun, but in the end, I think I'm happier on my own! HAHA!
It's time to mentally start packing my bags again!
He didn't quite meet my expectations of our "anniversary," so it is best to leave my high school sweetheart where he belongs - in the past! Sure he will be sad and heartbroken, but he should've stepped it up. I don't care cuz I'm just happy with myself.
If I had to make a guess at this point, I'd say my boyfriend and I are not going to date in college. but be happy for me because THIS IS A GOOD THING! I think this was how it's supposed to work out (for now) so bring it on, Fate! it's a win/win. Whatever happens happens. If he misses me too much, we'll get back together one day I'm sure. I'm indifferent and not clingy in the least so I don't really mind what happens. As long as I never lose myself again, I haven't lost anything!
It's not that I'd rather be with somebody else right now... I just want to be single and on my own to do my thing. and good timing too, because freshman year is the year to make lots of friends and connections. I don't want to be the girl sobbing in her dorm over a LDR boyfriend who isn't even into her! oh hell no! I know a girl who did that her freshman year, and she missed out on so much!
He says he's going to miss me enough to visit me in college, so even if we break up, those emotions remain the same. As for me, I'm the most indifferent of this relationship. I suppose that's a good thing! He says he'll never break up with me again, so it's all on me this time.
I say all of this with a smile on my face. It's all fabulous news, even the potential to break up part, because I'm no longer clingy to a rotton boyfriend.
So on the drive home from our vacation, we both agreed that we aren't perfect for each other. I started thinking, "then why the hell are you dating me?" but it makes perfect sense why we would say this kind of thing at this stage of our lives. Here's why..
Really and truly, I think this relationship was meant to end at this point because we're both changing into the young adults we will become years from now. Our personalities are growing in different directions and they can't keep up with each other. I mean, we're not 16 anymore - he's nearly 19 and he's obviously gained a new perspective over the years. I'm sure you all can understand what I'm trying to say... We're going through the transition from teenage years to adulthood, and I think it's best if we grow up on our own for now, you know? maybe?..
Starting my years in college is what is really on my mind! The success story continues! As far as the boyfriend goes, I'm letting that unfold by itself.
I refuse to let MelanieStryder become a dead account here!
I'm catching up on PMs as much as I can!And that's my update for now!
Posted 6 months ago # -
MelanieStryder said:
Happy anniversary, NC diary! I'm celebrating because I joined this forum a year ago!Congratulations Melanie!
I think you're the first member to actually come back and mark this occasion.
Keep on kicking life's ass!
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
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Posted 6 months ago Jasmin
offlineMemberCongratulations on your year anniversary of this forum. You seem to really be amped up for your future. And, you also know what you want in a relationship based on what you're saying here, ahah. I'm glad you are happy with how things have gone. Good luck in college and in everything else you do as well.
Posted 6 months ago #-
stridokride
offlineMemberHey melanie......
We started the NC journey almost the same time...last year at this time we were heart broken,desperate n totally blue...
There were a lot of ppl who were with us in the beginning of NC journey...On the way a lot of them got booted out,sum quit,sum messed up with the NC n went on going around the vicious cycle of post break up drama...
I had a couple of forum buddies in the beginning who got disappeared unto blue on the way...I m sooo grateful to all of them coz they all contributed much to this long journey...OUR JOURNEY WAS LEGENDARY...
I m about to celebrate my anniversary on august 6th....
I have a lot of experiences just like Melanie on the way...
I should say NC was the most challening journey I ever took...It dug out a new perspective in me...
Looking back now,I feel m the king of this world...
NC was the best thing that ever happened to me...
So let's see how many 'DO DOs' remain after this long one year...
I join with Melanie...we are veterans now...who all joining with us to celebrate this occasion??
COME ON GUYS!!!!
LIFE HAPPENS ONLY ONCE..MAKE IT A CELEBRATION...
Lots of asses waiting for our boots to get kicked...ROFL!!!!!
Posted 6 months ago # -
kittykat
offlineInactiveCONGRATULATIONS Melanie!
You have inspired so many people on your journey and we are ALL so happy to see how far you have come and how beautifully you have grown into a young woman with her feet on the ground and her heart full of happiness!
You know who you are and you are going to let no one take that away from you ever again! I say that no matter what happens from here on in... you are going to be a success!
Live you life...be happy...and sparkle!!
...the purpose of a doormat is to wipe your feet on it, not love and respect it. – BalthazarPosted 6 months ago # -
Georgeh-1980
offlineMemberMelanieStryder said:
I had no idea how much of an impact this place would have on me.Well Melanie, I surely have been impacted.
Your diary was the first one that I read in it's entirety and I'm glad I did.
It has helped me to write my own and stick to this through the end. Thanks for all you have done. You are a great gal and don't forget it.
MelanieStryder said:
So on the drive home from our vacation, we both agreed that we aren't perfect for each other. I started thinking, "then why the hell are you dating me?"I know why he's dating you.
Why wouldn't he? You're a great person and from the picture you have there you look very hot to.
He's going to lose out but that's his problem now. You are such an inspiration to many here and I can't thank you enough for that.
I hope and pray that you get what you want and deserve in life. Hell, you earned it.
Keep up the good work hun.
Take care!!!
Posted 6 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 6 months ago Catinthehat33
offlineInactiveMelanie- I read your diary all the way through and am just so impressed! Good luck in college
You did such a good job and really inspire! I loved how you responded when his friend contacted you! My ex's friend contacted me last year and I just took offense because I thought, "sheeze did I mean so little that you just handed my number off???" I broke no contact for that silliness and reamed him. Now I am going through it on a more serious level because the relationship was more intense. I really appreciate reading your success and personal growth and there are so many people rooting for you! Great job!!! Thank you for sharing!Time Wounds All Heals Posted 6 months ago #-
MelanieStryder
offlineMemberThanks, everyone! I think I found the loose bolt in my current relationship!!
It all started when I read through the first few pages of my NC diary to take a trip down memory lane... as I was reading through my evolution, I found this post from Scott:admin said:
There is a chance your ex isn't ready for a "new" relationship, and just wants to pick up where you left off, don't let that happen.That's it!!! My boyfriend thinks this is a continuation of our past relationship. He says we've been dating for 2 years, when that simply isn't true. It's been 4 months or so to me.
I've hit the nail on the head! I don't know why I'm using tool metaphors, but they seem to work haha. Time to kick some some ass again.
I'm going to set the record straight in 2 days. This isn't a continuation. I've considered this second relationship as a "trial mode" to see if he has acutally changed. For example, he promised to bring me flowers and be a mega-romantic, which I was pleased to hear. But did he give me flowers? Nope! That's because he thinks this is a continuation of his old ways. Hell, I don't care about the flowers. It's the principle of the matter. If he says he's going to do something, then he better damn do it.
On a very positive note, when I left his house yesterday, he showed me some significant emotion! We hugged for a long time because reality hit us like cold water to the face - we have hardly a week to say our goodbyes to each other for college. He said he was going to cry when I leave for college, which I don't doubt! He also said we've been together for so long and been through so much that his feelings aren't going anywhere. He started tearing up right then! This is a good sign because, lemme tell you, this guy has the emotional capacity of a rock on the outside! haha so he really does have feelings if I stir up tears in his eyes. I have some tweaking to do in terms of this relationship, but it can definitely survive.
_____________________
I want to give a shout out to the member Nirvana838..I used to send him long-ass sob story PMs that took up the entire screen about my ex. I'm sorry for putting you through that, Nirvana, hahah. thanks for taking the hit!
stridokride said:
There were a lot of ppl who were with us in the beginning of NC journey...On the way a lot of them got booted out,sum quit,sum messed up with the NC n went on going around the vicious cycle of post break up drama...Stridokride, you're a badass! haha you're right. most of the people I consider "originals" disappeared or quieted down along the way. but we stuck it through and survived the wrath of Scott!
Thanks so much, Jasmin! I'm super pumped about starting college! Nothing is getting in the way of my goals
I'm happy to inspire you peeps!Aww thank you, kittykat, my fellow skydiver! I believe 100% that I'm going to kick ass from here on out. I suppose I'm "attracting" that mindset according to the law of attraction ... that was before my time on this forum though, haha.
Cat, it was your post that got me re-reading my NC diary! You helped me have the epiphany I just did! I thought the same thing when my boyfriend gave away my number.. but later on, he got JEALOUS when I mentioned his friend tried to ask me out! haha looks like he nipped himself in the ass with that one.
and Georgeh, you're welcome! you all are great people and I hope you all don't ever forget it either
Posted 6 months ago # -
MelanieStryder
offlineMemberHi, everyone! I know I've disappeared for awhile, but that's because I've been settling into my new college life! I'm taking a ton of courses that I enjoy, and I've joined several clubs! I've met a ton of people and basically things are running smoothly
I'm keeping myself so busy and I'm loving it here. I'm not homesick in the least, and things are working out better than expected! I'm toottaally happy where I am! Basically, I'm allowing myself to sit back and relax and see where this whole long-distance thing is going to go. I'm very cautious though
My boyfriend & I spent our last day together before I moved out of my hometown, and he was soooo sad to see me go. At the end of the night when I got back home, he was sending me text after text about how much he loved me so much, yadda yadda (really sappy stuff..) and he thanked me for making his highschool years soo enjoyable! He was crying all night to see me go, sad tears there, then happy tears about having me as a girlfriend, then sad tears again..he couldn't sleep because of it!I, on the other hand, was too excited to move into college to have time to be sad!
So as always I've made this a win/win situation! He wants me to drive like 7 hours to visit him but I'm not really up to that at this point. haha I dont even have my car with me. Anyways, the main point of this is that I'm super happy these days and this plan will give you a lifestyle of happiness! Not because I got my boyfriend, but mostly because I'm self-sufficient and I still have myself in order
Posted 6 months ago # -
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHey Melanie!
I've read your NC diary from the beginning and your success inspires me! I am so impressed by your evolution day by day and it seriously motivates me to become one either! I really hope one day I will get my success story too, in a which way or another. What matters is that you kick love ass, and you get your life back!
Good luck in your college life, I am pretty sure you will get it all under control! xox
Posted 5 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 4 months ago Katniss
offlineInactiveHi Melanie!
Yours was the first NC diary that I read all the way thru, and it has inspired me soooo much!
I think you've got the absolute best attitude about moving on and getting on with your own life. It's wonderful to have someone pining away for you, but it's just one of those "backburner" things, ya know? The future and making decisions for your best life is what really matters. 
I wish so much that I had had the same attitude at your age. I would've saved myself a LOT of heartache and bad decision making along the way. It feels like second chance time, now, but this forum is great for helping keep on the most direct path.
One lesson learned along the way is to NEVER compromise for any guy unless you have a rock solid commitment and reason to do so. Even then, choose wisely. Freedom is awesome...
~Katniss
P.S: Awesome pseudonym; I love Stephanie Meyer's writing, too. The Host was a pretty awesome book; can't wait for the movie to come out!
Posted 4 months ago #-
MelanieStryder
offlineMemberKatniss said:
P.S: Awesome pseudonym; I love Stephanie Meyer's writing, too. The Host was a pretty awesome book; can't wait for the movie to come out!
My life is now complete! I was wondering when somebody would recognize the name! Haha
Yay! I love it when my NC diary inspires people! You're right, it does feel good to have somebody pine away, but you always have to remember to stay focused and it let it get to your head, haha. I'm really thankful I have this attitude now. Boys are really confusing sometimes and I don't have time for that
Freedom IS awesome! Revel in it while you can
Posted 4 months ago # -
MelanieStryder said:
Boys are really confusing sometimesSo is life!
It is not all black and white.
We all have to find our way through the gray areas once in a while too.
The best thing to do in that situation is to develop an instinct and follow it.
If you always worry about being right, you will fail to take action when it needs to be taken.
After a while your instincts will become so in tune that you will only screw up about 5% of the time, and that means you will be right about 95% of the time.
If you sit on your hands and take no action you will be screwed (not in the good way
) 100% of the time. Do you know why people fail using the no contact rule? They are afraid to lose their ex.
The funniest part is they already have, and that means they really have nothing to fear, right?
The human mind is a blessing and a curse.
You have to learn to let go, and be willing to fail to truly be free and happy.
Why?
Failure is a crucial part of the process and if you fear failure you never start the process...you're fucked!
People who think they can "play it safe" are really living in a self-made prison.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 4 months ago # -
MelanieStryder
offlineMemberOops, major typo on my part:
MelanieStryder said:
you always have to remember to stay focused and it let it get to your head, haha.I definitely meant to write "and to not let it get to your head" hahah even though that one is probably a given.
Uhh, I'm not really sure how that ended up saying that. I must've typed faster than my computer's processing of it. Oh well! I just wanted to clarify just in case. haha do NOT go rubbing it into your ex's face because that will be catastrophic! but I figure most of you all already know that.admin said:
If you always worry about being right, you will fail to take action when it needs to be taken.If you sit on your hands and take no action you will be screwed (not in the good way
) 100% of the time.^ That can definitely apply to me when it comes to picking a major. Haha I'm totally undecided.. so even beyond the scope of relationships, this forum still continues to help me! But that's a different story.
willsucceed said:
MelanieStryder, I just read your strategy of voice recorder on your phone for keeping up your journal (in the past). I'm going to try that because your struggle with updating your journal is what I also experience. Thanks.You know what helps even better? Journaling in an email to yourself. This is better because 1) It remains in an electronic format, meaning you can access it from wherever you need. 2) Only you can view it, whereas somebody could possibly access your voice recordings if you're not careful. 3) You can write paragraphs and paragraphs about how you're feeling because there is no limit. 4) Something about hitting "send" is satisfying in itself. 5) Managing your online-journaling emails is easy and convenient!
My current ranking of journaling strategies:
1) Email
2) Voice recorder (this is good if you have an immediate thought that you don't want to forget)
3) Hand-written journal (mostly because I don't like stuff like that floating around)Posted 4 months ago #
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