FREE BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLAN
I will NEVER sell, trade, rent, or give away your information to any third party.
I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy Policy
Mamasteez's NC Diary
(155 posts) (17 voices)-
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
I will NEVER sell, trade, rent, or give away your information to any third party.
I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy PolicyPosted 6 months ago mamasteez
offlineMemberhey everyone! guess what news i got to day? my ex is officially in a relationship with some girl a few years younger than us. but guess what? when i found out, i called my friend to tell her but i'm not hurting or anything.
that's a good sign right? i'm not hurting. i'm not shocked and i'm not sad. i think i passed that point earlier this week. i actually feel like, if he's happy, then that's good for him. i told my friend when she suspected him that it was going to happen, i know but i honestly don't feel hurt or betrayed and i think that's a really good thing!
as for myself, i'm definitely not ready to jump into another relationship. i'm not even ready to jump in a relationship after a month of talking to someone. i think the next time i do start talking to someone, i want to wait awhile just to know!
Posted 6 months ago #-
willsucceed
offlineMemberMamasteez, your evolution that has been shown by how you responded to this news is great. What an accomplishment you've achieved! You are in control of your life and cautious about new relationships and wanting to take it slow. Perhaps you could look at it as building a friendship first and then considering a romantic interest in the relationship.
I am very impressed with your evolution. It sounds to me like you've made it to the other side. We catepillars are happy to watch the beautiful butterflies take off into their new lives.
Posted 6 months ago # -
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHi Mamasteez,
I am sorry to hear that but on the other hand I am really glad that you are coping up so well. It's good to know that you are taking things really slow, rather than committing into another relationship in a rush. NC has made you this strong, and this far.
Hugs!
Posted 6 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 6 months ago mamasteez
offlineMemberIt's alright! Everything ALWAYS works out for a reason. I, on the otherhand, am still going to continue on with my personal evolution. I don't see why cutting it short here should be an option. Yes, I don't hurt anymore, but I still know that I need to work on myself still... which is why I am going to continue writing here until my evolution is complete in it's entirety.
I have had a blast getting to know new people. and getting to know new friends. I have focused on making friends with both guys AND girls. I don't really flirt because I'm not particularly interested in anyone but that's alright with me. As far as pursuing friendships to evolve into relationships, I'm not sure if I'm the type to build a strong friendship foundation to confuse it with interests. I'd rather date, date, date for a few months become friends (not strong friends with secrets and all - but friends) then pursue. If that makes any sense.
I know I'm doing what's best for me, as for him, who knows - do I care? a little. Should I? Not at all. I am progressing well, making new friend, running into old friends, catching up with everyone. I'm very happy where I am and it's continuing until I am completely, 100% done with my evolution.
Posted 6 months ago #-
mamasteez said:
my ex is officially in a relationship with some girl a few years younger than us.It's Official?
Was there an announcement or something?
He is only dating, not getting married.
Hold the drama!
Dating is good, why?
This is the fastest way for your ex to realize what he has lost, and to start his personal evolution.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 6 months ago # -
Bluebell
offlineMemberHi Mamasteez,
Scott is right. Ourselves and our exes have to get out there at some point and start dating.
For us, it helps us realise we are still attractive after being dumped lol.
And for them It can make them realise just what they lost and that the grass isn't always greener. So in hindsight both parties grow and evolve in different ways.
See it as a positive rather than negative.
If you are meant to get back together you will, regardless of him, or you dating or not.
Go out this weekend and have a good laugh with friends!
BB xPosted 6 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberadmin said:
It's Official? Was there an announcement or something?
He is only dating, not getting married.
Hold the drama!
Dating is good, why?
This is the fastest way for your ex to realize what he has lost, and to start his personal evolution.
Stay Strong and Positive!
I meant by dating officially - committed relationship and all. But really, hearing the news didn't really throw me off and I'm glad because I know a few months ago, I would have been crying about it. Lol. If this helps him good! I'm a- okay with dating, I have nothing against it but I believe right now it's not in my best interests cause I just don't have time for it and I'm really having a blast with old acquaintances becoming better friends
Posted 6 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 6 months ago -
mamasteez
offlineMemberHey! I'm doing great. Just surviving midterms!! So I've been really busy studying - no down time!
I have met plenty of amazing people these past few weeks and have been enjoying my time with new friends. I have gotten close with a few new friends and a few old friends. I don't really worry much about my ex anymore - people still do mention him but I'm at the point where I'm happy with what I have and the new friends I have made.
I don't really know where to start with updating because right now, I am completely 100% focused on school.... and hanging out with friends... when there's no school. I got a new phone I bought with my own money!
I feel like that was a great accomplishment of mine.But right now I really need to focus on passing my classes and staying in school. It's cutting close to finals!! Some acquaintances of mine have recently been coming around more often. It's funny because in previous years, I'd hardly say anything to them just hi's & bye's & how are you's. They wouldn't come out to any events but now they have been coming out so it's nice to see that happening!
I think a great achievement of mine so far this year is (besides buying my own phone) is my ability to reach out to more friends. I have been talking to more & more people & I feel like I'm really progressing in opening myself up to others :]
Posted 6 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberhola everyone. just an update.
i have begun reading the secret. i started a few weeks ago but had to stop. picked it back up today and am getting through it. i had a pretty big down moment today but according to the secret, i just had to focus on what i wanted. so i wiped that sad thought out of my head and decided that i want to be happy. i wanted to have a good dinner with my friends. and we ended up having a great one!
still doing some mad studying. i'm tired alot but tht's okay. price of being a college student! hope everyone's taking care!
Posted 6 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberHey! So I know I'm really happy with my life.
I'm not embarrassed to do things anymore. I mean, I was down and had no shame to be myself in high school and somewhere along the way I lost that. But not today. I have started becoming closer to new people and have met even more. For awhile, I've found myself wanting to ge to know a friend more than I already do. Thing is, I can't read him at all. We're friends now but I would still love to get to know him more. Just dot know how to approach that yet.
There are a few other fellas I have been more open with. One has potential to be more than acquaintances but I hardly see him so its a little more difficult since everyone leaves after class. I grabbed him by the arm but he didn't flinch but that just may be because he's comfortable. I don't know.
Then there's an old friend from high school who wants to come out o go snowboarding near my.place but he needs a place to crash and is down to crash at my place. I haven't spoken to him in years. But we did have a good relationship... And I'm open to re establishing that friendship.
I just don't know exactly how to put myself out there again cause flirting is natural to me but it's been so long! Haha any tips?
I hope my friendliness doesn't get confused with flirting. Overall, I'm just happy to be myself again. It's a good feeling and I know I'm gaining my confidence back while really learning who I am.
Posted 6 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 6 months ago mamasteez
offlineMemberQuick and short update : i have passed the 4 month mark of nc!! Woohoo so it's been 5 months after the break up and I'm doing great! (well in my opinion haha) yea it got tough I once I got back to shook and started seeing everyone again, but I haven't let events where he might be at stop me from enjoying my life.
Though, we still share many mutual friends, I have decided which ones to keep in touch with and which ones not to. I stopped seeing him around campus too. Not too bad! One of his really good friends is coming down to visit and she wants to hang out but I don't know if that's gonna be possible just yet... Oh well!
Posted 6 months ago #-
willsucceed
offlineMemberMamasteez, Great milestone that you've made! I was also happy to read that in your post before this last one that you are have gotten your freedom to be yourself back. That is great freedom indeed! Also good job on weeding out true friends--the ones who are positive, I assume. How do you feel about hanging out with the mutual friend? I couldn't tell what your perspective was from your post. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do "just to be nice" when you are protecting your feelings.
Posted 6 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberIn all honesty, I wouldn't mind hanging out with her. It'd be nice to see her in person again. I guess I'm more indifferent to the situation because she is really good friends with him. I wouldn't have met her if it weren't for him. And so I'm glad that he was part of my life once. Right now though, I don't know her intentions as to being so nice to me now. Yes we've known each other for years but she's more of his friend not mine. Hanging out with her or seeing her wouldnt hinder my feelings I feel just cause I've gotten so far without any of that... I'm pretty much indifferent to it all. Not to mention, she only talks to me once in awhile. It can go awhile before she contacts me. Why? I have no idea. Sooo maybe meeting her for coffee or a drink wouldnt be a bad idea as long as I keep it shorT
Posted 6 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberHey everyone! Just wanted to give you an update.
Things have been going nicely. Today is just an off day, but I know tomorrow will be better.
As for my evolution, I know I'm still going through it. I have not yet cometely evolved and I acknowledge that.I will be renovating my room soon. I'm excited. I will be getting new furniture and everything!
Recently, I have been dreaming again. I dont know why cause I don't see him, talk to him, or even
Think about him too much anymore. I am constantly surrounded by good friends and things are always
looking brighter for me. I disregarded the dreams though. It started a few days ago but hopefully they stop
soon. I have more on my plate right now with work and school. So it's just a minor bump in the road testing
my evolution. I do have to admit thAt my day was slightly off key but I smiled my way through it none the less.Its been morethan 4 months NC and 5 months after the break up. I am truly slowly getting
my life back. It is a process that does take patience (which I sort of do lack) but I'm still willing
to get m life back 100% no matter what.Posted 6 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
*LIMITED TIME OFFER! - Get a 10% Discount on Your First LivePerson Session*
Posted 6 months ago -
mamasteez
offlineMemberSo I wrote my last post about 2 hours ago while I was waiting for class to start. I met up with an old friend who is also in my class and decided to go sit in the sun near our classroom. He happens to be a mutual friend with said ex.
Well not long after, maybe 10-15 minutes, my ex came walking by us! Usually, he ignores me. He's ignored me since our awkward run-in a month or so ago when I was eating dinner with another mutual friend. Anyways, seeing he could have just walked past us without acknowledgment (which we wouldn't have cared much for).. we make eye contact and he decides to smile and wave hi. Now I was already smiling and laughing and talking so I just waved back with a huge grin on - see I'm happy! haha. My friend didn't say hi though because he was busy folding paper but when he looked up we both kinda looked at each other and just laughed.
Don't know where that came from because he had ignored me for weeks after seeing each other randomly on campus! Now he has a girlfriend, I have new friends, and he said hi. It might be a one time thing but honestly, i did watch his reaction after I said hi to see how he would act and he did keep the smile on his face... weird.
But my friend & I acted as if nothing happened, continued on with our lives. It felt nice to not freak out over it like I did with my last encounter. Haha
Posted 6 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberIt hasn't really made me hurt or feel bad. I'm more confused if anything. I haven't really made a judgment about because I do tend to come to false conclusions and I think I'll know how I really feel this a few days from now. I don't feel doubtful or hopeful just cause I know he has a girlfriend and I like to respect that. But so far, so good!!!
Posted 6 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 6 months ago mamasteez
offlineMemberhey guys. update on how i feel about that last encounter: I honestly wish he did not say hi to me. But what's done is done. I have not been feeling doubtful or hopeful, more kind of nostalgic about the entire relationship now. However, I have not let that stop me from enjoying these past couple days. Today though, is definitely a lazy day. I have not done anything!
I have decided not to see the mutual friend as of now. I've seen more updates about things from a few people and have decided to cut off from them yet again for the time being because of what I had heard. I have met new people recently who are also now acquainted with my ex and his friends. Apparently his friends have been bringing me up to them, as in like,
"Oh you know her? Well, I don't hate her, we used to be friends, but if she says any stories about me they might be weird."
This I found strange because I have kept the past the past. I don't wish to look back into that. If it's someone I just met, I say, "Oh yeah I used to know them." When friends inquire, I simply say, "You know, we just had a falling out. Along the line somewhere, I didn't feel respected and I felt they were being rude to me. That's all. But I honestly have no bad feelings." - And that's pretty much the truth of it all. I just don't care about that part of my life anymore. It seems like it's been that way for SO long and I feel that I have missed out on my only chance in college to live my life to the fullest.
On another note, I wanted to get some opinions on relationships and bringing memories into light. If you had this special thing or place to go to with your ex, would you bring those into your new relationship? - I had thought about this long and hard as some people were asking me this same question... and I wouldn't. I'd actually find new things to do - make new memories.
They were talking about specific things like - going to this one restaurant all the time, making this one type of dessert, cooking this certain type of food - very specific things that you did with your ex and then continuing it into a new relationship. I mean, baking and cooking are always very generic, but there's a plethora of different types of things you can make. And I'd choose something to make that's new & wouldn't necessarily hash memories from the past. I feel like that's trying to relive the past and only setting up to doom because of the chance of comparisons.
Anyways, just a little thought some people have instilled in my mind these past few days. I only think today is a low day because everyone is busy and I'm basically having a lazy day with LOTS of time to myself - something I haven't had in awhile. But that's okay because sometimes you just need these kind of breaks.
Posted 6 months ago #-
mamasteez
offlineMemberIt's been awhile but oh well.
i have been home for Thanksgiving break & having movie marathons with my family. Hope you guys are enjoying your holiday as well.
Anyways, the mutual friend contacted me a few times about wanting to update me and telling me things and telling me they're going to Disneyland after finals. Not even thinking, I mentioned I was going the Monday after finals. (It's been a plan for nearly 3 months now). So I guess, she planned their Disneyland trip the same day. I don't understand why she did this when 1. one of her best friends is my ex. 2. we're not really close at all now. 3. my ex & i don't even speak.
so to plan a trip on a day she knows i'll be there (and it's not even a HUGE park, there's a chance we'll run into each other often - this happened to me awhile back...) well, it kinda flabbergasts me. I haven't spoken to her since, I'm just not really interested in speaking to her anymore. It's like she's causing more harm than good. Who knows what her intentions are? No one does! Except her!
On the brighter side, I had a great weekend and did not even get sidetracked with any of that ^^ crap because it's not worth worrying about! I have a pass and I can go whenever I want, but I'm not going to let her ruin the one trip I've been planning for months!
Posted 5 months ago # -
willsucceed
offlineMemberMamasteez, sorry to hear that this happened and I hope it doesn't make you on edge during your trip. I guess there's no way you could change the day you go to Sunday, Tuesday or another day? Remember that she is most likely conveying what you are saying to him if he is one of her best friends. I would limit contact with her right now, especially since this happened. You feel comfortable with her and that makes it easier to tell her things you might not otherwise, given her close friendship with your ex.
Posted 5 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberI would change it but my friends have to work the rest of the week & had requested the day off earlier in advance. I do have the feeling she's still bridging my words. Since then, I have not spoken to her. When she did, I sent a simple message that said, "What's up?" I didn't hear from her for a few days so I forgot about it until she messaged me back about some things. I kept my messages short & sweet. She eventually ended with a, "You should come that same day." (regarding Disney) & I said, "Why? Although I would love to see you all.. that might be weird." And ended it there.
As for this past week, things have been GREAT. Went to a Christmas party with lots of mistletoe, so the rules were hug or kiss. Took the hugs. Haha. Someone was taking pictures so the last thingI wanted to hear was about the kissing.
I am sort of interested in a friend but it's just a weird situation. We don't really see each other because our schedules are so different. I was with a friend the other night for a gathering & we both said hi to him, told him we were leaving early & weren't going to eat, & gave him our hugs. He hugged my friend and just said why? And when he hugged me, he wouldn't let go and was trying to get us to stay. It was strange but Idk. He's the same guy that used to tease me all the time. But it's just a weird situation and I'm def not reading anything haha.
But it is now December!!!! How time flies. 6 months after the break-up and 5 months of NC is coming up very soon. There are times I still think about my ex cause of how I am linked to him, but I'm enjoying my life much better anyways. Someone took pictures the other night and just told me I looked really happy in all of them- that's always nice to hear.
Things have been progressing stagnantly, but very nicely.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 5 months ago mamasteez
offlineMemberHey guys. Just wanted an opinion on this:
So my friends and I are going to watch a taping of The Voice in a few weeks. We have 6 tickets, and with four of us, we've all been friends pretty much for the past 3 years. Well, ones a couple, and my other friend is a girl-- whose boyfriend wants to join us. Nbd hes cool. This leaves me as a potential 5th wheel, maybe even 7 if my sister ends up going.
If everyone couples up, I'd rather take the shot of finding a date instead of feeling miserable all my friends are couples. Lol. Sooo, there's this one guy Im particularly interested in getting to know more. All four of us have known him as well so it's not like he's a new guy or anything. We're friends. I, however, have no idea if he's slightly interested in me. I really don't try to flirt with him because we're usually at huge events and were both busy. But I really want to see if he'd be interested in going. It's a 5 1/2 hour taping O.O and were planning on eating dinner after. Do you think that'd be too much or inappropriate? I know he wouldn't mind if a girl asked him out cause we follow each other on our blogs and he even wrote about that.
Chances are he says no, and I fifth/seventh wheel it awkwardly with anothe guy friend. But I wanted your opinions on this first.
Thanks for any input!
Posted 5 months ago #-
mamasteez said:
Do you think that'd be too much or inappropriate?You're not asking him to marry you or anything
- I say go for it.You never know until you ask.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 5 months ago # -
willsucceed
offlineMemberScott and all, I wonder what you all think about women asking men out. Obviously you answered Mamasteez above in the way you did, but I wanted to talk some more about this, if that's okay. When I read what Mamasteez described and your response I agreed with it completely.
However, I made the mistake of going after my ex when we were dating so many years ago and I've now come to the conclusion that I don't want, not even a date, with someone whose not interested in me enough to ask me out. What if that person ended up being really interesting and now I started things by making the same mistake I did with my ex? I feel now that he never really liked me as a person and even though he did ask me to marry him, I feel that I shouldn't have initiated as much as I did when we were dating. I don't know what to think about this. What are all of your thoughts on this?
Posted 5 months ago # -
willsucceed said:
However, I made the mistake of going after my ex when we were dating so many years ago and I've now come to the conclusion that I don't want, not even a date, with someone whose not interested in me enough to ask me out.It seems like you would be going from one extreme to the other.
Some people are shy, and it is hard to make the first move, but once you have shown interest, they should too.
Asking someone out for a date, once, is not the same as always initiating the whole dating process and relationship.
If you ask a man out, and you had fun, and he seemed to have fun too, he will ask you out next, if he doesn't, he is obviously NOT interested...stop initiating and move on to the next guy.
That is what I would do with a woman.
I don't believe in having to do all the chasing or initiating, it isn't fair to either gender.
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 5 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 5 months ago -
mamasteez
offlineMemberSo I haven't asked my guy friend out.. With finals schedules being vastly different than our quarterly class schedules, it was just difficult to figure it all out. I was goin to give him a call but right now he's up in the mountains at a retreat with some of our friends who are leaders for an organization. That being said, my best bet would probably be to call him. I think asking over text is not an ideal thing. Just wanna see if he's interested since he wants to be a performer. He also shared about going into the military after college an I'm very curious as to why. If I ask him to go it would be very interesting since I just want to get to know him better. As for Disneyland, my mutual friend suggested I join them with their party an I just declined. I dont see why I should join them when I have another group I'm already planning on going with.
Posted 5 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberHappy Holidays everyone!
Just to Let you know, for all the newer members who have joined, it has been 6 months from the break up and 5 months of official NC. The first month was just "ignoring " each other. Anyways, things have gone splendidly. I'm home for the holidays and couldn't be happier. 6 months ago I was broken up with after a 2 an a 1/2 year relationship. The first few months were difficult. The third month was rock on. At the fourth month, I went back to school and then had a few encounters, and it got difficult again. But after this past month, we are still NC and that's ok. I have let go of all the bad that had happened, and ive accepted it as experience. For those of you starting out NC, trust me it gets easier. I'm still on here because I feel like I am nt finished withy evolution. From friends though, they have mentionedy attitude and behavior has improved and I seem happier and am more fun to be around since the relationship took its toll. They said I'm a different person now and they feel like really being myself 100% now. I am still working on myself though, I am working on not relapsing down memory lanes. But I do assure you all, things are going great. And I know what I want in a relationship and I know how I want things to work out in future relationships
Posted 4 months ago # -
mamasteez said:
Happy Holidays everyone!Great Job on the 5 Months of NC Mamasteez!
Keep up the good work.
Happy Holidays to you too!
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 4 months ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 4 months ago mamasteez
offlineMemberHey everyone! I finally have access to a computer. I've been using my phone for the mean time. The other night my mom asked me to look something up online, so naturally I googled it... I ended up closing out of it after getting sidetracked by own whimsical interests of looking for a cabin for a trip in january so since i was logged onto my google acct i checked my history.
i got a few strange hits on my web history that i didn't conduct - i double checked my phone history & browser history. definitely wasn't me. then i got another strange hit on there an hour later for this restaurant place i saw mentioned in passing by a mutual friend on fb (i reactivated it to get a hold of my brother who was out of the country since thanksgiving & was coming home yesterday- it's deactivated now that he's back.) but anyways. it seems to me, that my ex has been infiltrating my google account (again but not my email.)
i'm confused why he's even on there. i didn't bother changing the password because it's my #1 variation of my pw & i don't use the acct so often so i don't really care cause there's nothing of importance on there. he had been going on it over summer & when we first came back in the fall (as i noticed with random search entries)... it disappeared for awhile & since then he has been in a relationship (from my previous posts before). now they're back :O
haven't really been caring about what's going on with him as i have more in my life that i have to take care of & deal with. my priority is my family & i. anyways, should i bring it up? or let sleeping dog's lie? or what? - as for changing my pw don't worry - on that!
Posted 4 months ago #-
mamasteez said:
should i bring it up? or let sleeping dog's lie? or what?Just change your password on all accounts that have a similar password, and then forget about it.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 4 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberHi everyone! I'm back at school and thought id give an update. Things are going very well for me. I've passed 6 months since the break up and have been doing phenomenal. I'm definitely getting myself back and a lot of things that used to ink me out just don't anymore!
Posted 4 months ago # -
mamasteez said:
I've passed 6 months since the break up and have been doing phenomenal.Great Job Mamasteez!
Keep up the good work!
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 4 months ago #
Reply
You must log in to post.