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Mamasteez's NC Diary
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I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy PolicyPosted 10 months ago mamasteez
offlineMemberNC Diary Day 1
This is my official start to the REAL NC. Prior to this, the day after the break up, I just didn't send the message, at all. Just went cold turkey NC (but that's not real NC - that's just not talking). This carried on for 3 weeks. Saturday was my ex's bday, I didn't wish him a happy birthday cause 1) I didn't want to ruin it. 2) He probably wouldn't respond. (He is mentally strong like that.) Anyways, so
I sent my NC message yesterday around noon:
"Hi, I agree with you about the decision to break up. I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I'd appreciate it if you didn't contact me at this time. I'll be in touch when I'm ready."
I obviously didn't get a response. And yes, I wallowed about it to my roommate. But I have kept myself busy with school and friends and hanging out. It was Pretty Little Liars night at my friends apartment so I just went over to watch that and hang out as I did last week and the week before. I still dream about him - kinda irks me out. But I don't care. I have been happy with him, unhappy with him, unhappy without him, but I am DEFINITELY also happy without him. If there's something I tell my friends, it's "I don't need anyone to make me happy. I make myself happy." that's something I try to keep in mind when deep down, I'm thinking about him AND kicking myself if I do.
I don't have his number anymore, even though it is implanted in my brain. But keeping my phone in my purse and my laptop at bay has helped with the whole no contact - also the detachment from social sites. Keeping myself busy works but there's time I think, Oh, he'd really enjoy this. Only for me to snap myself out of it.
Over the past 3 weeks of not talking, I have realized, yes I have changed but the way I changed was to include him. Now I'm changing to not to remove him, but to alter the way I think as in, I'm doing this for me only. He is my first real boyfriend, and my first real break up. So I assumed things would be tough. I want to move on from this though so I'm trusting NC.
And and and I'm ignoring my ex's best friend who has magically started texting me to talk about things <- I learned only talking to her made it harder. + I found out he's been talking to girls 2 years younger than us who just finished their freshman year of college! WTF! So. no more talking to her because she really is just hurting me. -_______- (Maybe he's only talking to freshman to try and relive our feelings from our oh-so-innocent freshman year.) Yeouch. *must. stop. thinking.* Time to go busy myself with summer school though.
But damn, I'm definitely scared for September when school comes back into the picture!!!
Posted 10 months ago #-
mamasteez
offlineMemberday 2 of the real NC.
it's pushing on 4 weeks this saturday since the last time i actually did talk to him. but 2 since i sent the NC letter. i kept myself quite busy today or at least tried to. still had him lingering in the back of my mind even when I was completely focused on doing something else.
i.e. i was cleaning the floor - literally, like cinderella style. the minute my roommate left me to go buy water, all i did was think about him - while cleaning! anyone have a good idea of how to really focus my attention away from thinking about him? - i probably have a short attention span but i know i could somehow manage it!!
anyways, someone called me & told me that ex had updated something online (mind you, this was probably a few hours after i sent NC), where? I have no idea. did i go looking for it? Nope! I didn't want to ask for details or anything but they gave it to me anyways -_______- after i said, i didn't want to hear about it.
Just so happens that he's trying to find his inner peace to recenter himself and become a better person, yadda yadda. guess what? so am i! but i do know, knowing him.. that wherever he put it, he intended me to read it. instead, someone else did. but whatever. i'm stronger without having to cave into breaking NC to ask him about what it all meant. so out of my life with you (for now) only because i will have to interact with him sometime in the future esp with all our mutual friends.
but really, i need to learn how to focus my attention completelyyyyy away from him. any tips?
Posted 10 months ago # -
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Posted 10 months ago Jasmin
offlineMemberWell, maybe you shouldn't write about him as much. Because, based on your posts you mention him quite a lot as in you're still concerned and still thinking about what he's doing.
Tips to focus your attention off of him? You need to move yourself away from the things that will remind you of him, then. Or, at least when thoughts of him comes about you should try to push it down or cut it off right there. You can take a nod at them, but don't just immerse yourself in those. Try to bring the focus back on yourself. Maybe you should make a list of things you think you need to improve on? Or, maybe there are some things you've always wanted to do, but haven't attempted to yet?
Posted 10 months ago #-
mamasteez
offlineMemberUpdate: So I know it's been awhile since I updated online. But I have been very busy at keeping myself busy! :] I stayed no contact, don't have an online profile, & do my own thing! I finished my course for summer school (which i aced)!
Anyways, it's been about 7 weeks now I think. And throughout the past seven weeks I've kept myself busy with family, working out, hanging out with my cousins, catching up with everyone, going out. The works. I went and got my hair done. Went out to the bars a few nights, hung out with friends.
I've done GREAT. So ultimately after 7 weeks, I got a text message from my ex regarding my furniture that was at his old rental house. I ignored it initially but I know I had to get it because it was mine & they were moving out.
I broke NC. Is that bad? I kept all my responses very limited. Although, I think I should have just ignored it after he started casually conversing with me. I told him I spoke to someone already about getting the couch and I had some of his stuff if he wanted it back. He replied saying I could give it someone if not he'd pick it up when he's back in town. I said Well I'm very busy for the next few weeks so just let me know. I'll bring it if I remember if not just figure something out.
Then he started talking about how it was hot & how his parents did this & where he's staying. and all I said was Cool, that sounds nice. I kept it very casual, short, & wasn't rude about anything.
I honestly could have cared less about all the stuff he told me because I'm very happy with my life right now and have made great improvement with everything I have. However, I'm going back to NC & not contacting him because I know I should have only left it at "Made arrangements to get my stuff." Too bad I'm a nice person & feel rude for ignoring people.
Anyways, so I guess the lines of communication are open but I'm definitely not banking on anything because I'm going to Vegas in a few weeks and I'm gonnna have fun! :]
But what do you think? I think he sent me unnecessary details and I shouldn't have responded to some, but what's done is done. Is keeping the lines of communication open alright? or should I just ignore it next time? :/
Posted 9 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMembertoday went really well. i've been hanging out with some new people so it's nice to have different perspectives around me.
unfortunately, i have felt a drop back in my evolution. which means, i need to start refocusing on my shit. i haven't been working out as often, but i've also been dogsitting & catching up with friends. i need to get back on my grind tho. that's my first order of business.
as for the text messages from my ex. all communication has ceased. and i hope they never come back. it really sucks because i was doing SO well - even my friends could see the difference. & the minute he texted me on sunday, was when i started to fall back into the bad habits.
just so i can get this out of mind i've decided to share the conv:
him: hey were moving out of our house already. you should probably get your couch & you also have our coffee maker too.
me: sorry my phone was dead. i spoke to someone already. i found some of your lcothes in my car? and your waffle maker.
him: alright. well maybe you can give it someone when you get the couch? if not i guess i can get it later.
me: i will if i remember. i'm sort of busy for the next few weeks but it's nothing that can't be figured out. just let me kno.
him: yea no big deal. i'm just in town to move. i'm back home tomorrow so we can figure it out later when we're both not busy
me: oh didn't kno you were down here. hope u like the weather. haha. but ok, hope u enjoy the new house. and ya there's always later.
*this is where i thought it would stop. but he kept responding. keep in mind the conversation wasn't straight after the other. i sent the first text 6 hours after i got the first one & after that anywhere from 30 min - 1 hour.
him: it's so freaking hot here. i'm only here for a day. we drove up at 5am, moved all my stuff and now were just going to stay at hotel and drive back tomorrow.
me: yeah it is hot here. must've been a long day. at least u get a roadtrip out of it.
him: yeah long day. very productive tho. my mom forgot how hot it was here. we all wanted to take showers right when we got to the hotel
me: not surprised. i would have done the same thing. but it's hella nice at night.
him: yea i felt nastay all day lol. oh well mission accomplished. the new house is nice. my room is smaller but its alright. i'm basically the new _ and i live downstairs. i live like right next to _. no more long drives to _. well i'm gonna go lay down and get some shut eye. pretty tired.
*this is where i wish i didn't respond because i know i shouldn't have. but i'm stupid and have text add so i did. -___-
me: that's cool tho. late night _ runs for you. but alright night.now i know my last text was unnecessary. and i'm not making excuses for myslef. i shouldn't have sent that.
from now i have made a promise to myself to refrain from texting when i'm busy. unless someone is blowing up my phone like crazy for an emergency. i have no use to check on my phone. (this is why i left it dead primarily for the past month).
anyways, i have thought long & hard about it & need to refocus & reshift my goals once again because if there's anything i hate it's moving backwards & not forwards.
also, next time he texts me. i'm not going to respond. i have made arrangements for my stuff because i couldn't readily do it myself. but my part & responsibility is done.
in the meantime, once i'm done puppysitting i can get back to working out & have already made an abundance of plans (which is why i'm so primarily busy for hte next few weeks.)
other than that. do u think i handled the conversation alright? i think i did fine - except for the last part. that was unnecessary. but i still don't understand why i needed all that detail either.
any insight would be helpful.
on another note: i have made a blog online to help keep me up to par in my fitness routine :]
Posted 8 months ago # -
Foliahatton
offlineMemberI have a feeling Scott will suggest you to resend NC message...
I feel your ex def feels satisfied that you are still there for him when he wants a chat.
Let's see wat Scott says.
Posted 8 months ago # -
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Posted 8 months ago mamasteez
offlineMemberSo I have definitely gone a bit backwards since that last encounter. He still hasn't gotten his stuff (Idk if he is even in town to.) But I also got food poisoning today so now I'm stuck at home pondering. After I get over this sickness thing I'm going to get back out there with friends, my attitude is much better when I'm surrounded by them. But will suppressing my thoughts (besides writing them on my online blog) really help forget things? I always like to think that as long as I start believing in one thing, it will soon be true.
Hopefully that works in that case. But still no contact since that last week & I'm glad cause I had a really good weekend with new experiences despite getting food poisoning!
Posted 8 months ago #-
Foliahatton said:
I have a feeling Scott will suggest you to resend NC message...You didn't really break NC all that bad, but once you have all your stuff exchanged, re-send the NC message.
After that you shouldn't have to communicate with him about anything, right?
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 8 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberWill do! For the most part, my friend still has my coffee maker that I had at their old place so I just need to get that back. I've been looking for my favorite water bottle (it was free! college + free = happy student. lol) but I think I may have left it at his old place too but no mention of that. So I'm done getting my stuff.
The only thing left is he needs to get his clothes, otherwise I may throw them out. (I have no idea if they hold any significant value...)
And yes! I shouldn't have to talk to him about anything at all! That's why he caught me off-guard when he started talking to me about his new house & stuff. I just thought to myself, "cool story bro but all that's gotta be done is you get your stuff back & I get my stuff back." Haha.
Posted 8 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberBeen a week or so since I updated, it started off pretty rough still because of that huge step back. Here's my problem: I think too much. Analytically, philosophically, anywaytically. I think too much about things. Never used to put so much weight on things but in college my major has to deal with a lot of detail soo I have changed by putting too much thought into useless, countless, dumb things.
So by the end of this last week, I can tell you. I feel better. A lot better. I've been training myself (so to speak) to rewire my thought process. Say something reminds me of him, I push him out of my mind. And yesterday I woke up feeling refreshed. And today I woke up even better!
Just flooding him out of my mind is working like a charm. Yesterday, I also went out to this riverbed (I love to explore!) & there I started thinking about him yet again. And I said to myself, he treated me like crap & took advantage of what I had done for him. So why let him ruin this beautiful day? And so that stopped & I had so much fun!
Since he still hasn't said anything about picking up his crap, once I get home, I'm putting them in the hallway closet, not my closet because it's MY closet, but the free game hallway closet so I never have to touch it ever again.
I've also decided on no third parties in all relationships because it's just a hassle and a waste of time. Therefore, if someone needs something of me and asks through ANOTHER person rather than themselves, why should I abide by it when they can't do it themselves?! (Unless there is a clear reason like they're together or something).
So almost three months later, and two months after I had started official NC, I can say I'm back on track on progressing well & no one's fucking it up because there's a party tonight & I decided I'm all game on meeting new people (both guys & girls - since I avoided boys!)
I'm not planning on jumping into anything if something happens, I just want to have fun & tonight's my first big test at an actual party for a friend with people I may or may not know! :]
[I'd also like to add, I don't hurt anymore. I think I stopped hurting a week or so after I sent the official message. But I did get annoyed by him (which I presume is normal), & now I'm thinking, "whatever, I deserve better." because honestly, I did.]
Posted 8 months ago # -
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Posted 8 months ago mamasteez
offlineMemberso i went to two kickbacks where one i knew the people and the second was my roommate's friends & i was having a great time. unfortunately, this girl and her boyfriend were fighting so there were like 4 girls total and so we all had girl talk with her just to you know, calm her down & all. i hope it worked. but talking about it didn't really make me reminisce about the failed relationship because i had already realized how bad things really were. and i hope she took something away from that last night.
other than that, bomb night with good company. so i feel like i'm evolving nicely. :]
Posted 8 months ago #-
mamasteez
offlineMembermy roommate's party went really well and i felt really comfortable around the people.
i had fun & was able to keep my mind off things & i realized that sometimes i don't like hanging around girls cause they are notoriousssss for talking about ex's. i tried to stay away from that so when the girls wanted to hear it around them, that's what i got. but around the guys & everyone together, it was all witty banter & i had such a good night!!
one of my roommate's friends has been over before & i've met him but i kept to myself for the most part. but tonight i had fun with them, we shared drinks, had some good laughs, & it was very enjoyable.
i know i'm attracted to the guy, but at the same time i am still thinking about the ex from time to time. for now i'm more interested in just being single and living my life. but whatever happens, happens right? i don't know when i'll see him again but my roommate hopes they come by more often because he doesn't have many people out here to hang out with besides us roomies & a few others i can count on both hands, so it'd be good for him.
on the side note, it's been two weeks & the old guy still hasn't picked up his stuff yet
i already put it away in a different closet so i wouldn't have to even look at it. but i'm really itching for him to pick it up because i know that while i still have feelings for him, i'm over our old relationship (for the most part and it's gotta goooo).i'd give his stuff to his friends but i don't know where any of them live anymore cause they moved, & we never exchanged numbers. i also don't know where he lives now so i can't mail it to him or drop it off. what would be the best way to let him know he needs to pick up his stuff stat? would it be best to text or call? i have a pretty busy schedule for the next few weeks and then school starts so i'm really hoping it gets out soon!
but on the bright side three months after the break up, 2.5 after official NC and i've met someone i'm sort of interested in but not banking on it or anything. i'm enjoying my time being single because i'm opening myself back to things i used to enjoy but eventually stopped doing. getting back out in what i enjoy has been making me really happy. :] it also doesn't hurt that i'm meeting new guys also! :]
Posted 8 months ago # -
mamasteez said:
the old guy still hasn't picked up his stuff yet i already put it away in a different closet so i wouldn't have to even look at it. but i'm really itching for him to pick it up
Don't sweat it, this is not that hard to figure out.
Just email/text him (avoid phone contact if possible), and ask him what he wants to do about his stuff. Ask him if there is a nearby friend or relative that would pick it up, or you could leave it with.
Be polite, but keep it all about business, and if he gives you the run around (or doesn't respond), donate it to charity or the trash bin...your choice.
If these things were that important to him, he would've come for them a long time ago, right?
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 8 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberthanks Scott [:
i think i'll go ahead & give it a friend. i don't necessarily like including other people in things like this because of how things can get twisted but i don't really care about that right now because i do think it's the one thing that's left from the old relationship. I was going to contact him about his stuff Monday but thought it'd be weird because I completely forgot that it marked exactly "our" day until I looked at the date! Awks!
Other than that, things have been WONDERFUL. i've been spending time with my family since i had to come home & order new contacts... & plus they miss me! Also I went out to an open mic night with a friend last week & now we're making that part of our schedule! The new experiences I've had these past few months have really made me happy. I find myself making new goals all the time. Such as: finding responsible people to rehome my puppies, Going out to the River more often, More "adventures," & I also have a job interview on Thursday!
And I actually feel/know that once that stuff from the old failed relationship is gone from burdening my life, I'll shoot even further out and progress even more in my evolution!
Posted 8 months ago # -
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Posted 8 months ago mamasteez said:
And I actually feel/know that once that stuff from the old failed relationship is gone from burdening my life, I'll shoot even further out and progress even more in my evolution!Exactly !
Remember this is an evolution, a journey, and that means to you have to keep taking steps forward.
One step-at-a-time, one day-at-a-time, and your life will be better than it ever was.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 8 months ago #-
mamasteez
offlineMemberThanks Scott.
So, I know I hardly post on here... but that's because I post a lot of indirect thoughts on my online blog. But I just had to share that I just wrote the most liberating & kick-ass blog post I have written in a LONG time! It's basically about how tired I was with the shit I had to put up with, how people deserve each other if they're going to treat someone like shit, and most of all, how much better off I am being single and happy... and how I'll eventually be with someone who accepts me! I don't know why I felt so liberated, but I definitely hit a high note just writing it. I put all my pain away after suppressing it, I just had to write about it, and let it go on the interwebs!
I honestly think I'm ready to try dating again too. Wait you know, I know I am. Only because I feel comfortable around the guy who has been flirting with me :] & I only have one thing to work on and that's eye contact.
Eye contact can be VERY powerful. But I'm not going to push myself out there because I really want to enjoy the time I''m having with friends so far and I'm not looking for anything. I just want to have fun with friends as much as I can. I have one more week of summer before I go back to school but I am so occupied with all the plans I'm just happy that things are at where they are now.
Posted 8 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberAnyways, update on his stuff. I texted him asking when he'd be able to pick it up. And he replied 2 hours later (when he ALWAYS has his phone on him, unlike me) & said something about not getting back after sunday so anytime after that. So I responded roughly half an hour later because I was in an interview & straight up said: well just let me know because i might be busy & i don't want to be responsible for your stuff.
No reply, I don't care! He's probably waiting or trying to figure out what to say to respond.
I, on the otherhand, am gonna get out of my interview clothes, put some casual loungewear on & go out to grab some food with a good dear friend of mine [: Hopefully I get the job! It starts next week and even though I made some plans with friends, making money > spending money! And it's basically training so I'll be busy with that. Things happen on MY time, not his.
Posted 8 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberSo I got a respond back roughly twenty minutes later about his stuff: "Yea forsure. Will contact you when I'm down there." So now I have to wait til Sunday to get rid of it -_- BUT here's a twist, my job interview went SO well yesterday afternoon I got a call this morning offering the job! [:
And I know training is scheduled to start next week so I'm going to be more busier than I thought! I'm really excited because 1) I used to suck at interviews 2) it just proves that I'm progressing nicely because the fact that I was able to land it on such short notice must mean that I'm radiating positive vibes!
Posted 8 months ago # -
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Posted 8 months ago mamasteez said:
I got a call this morning offering the job!Congratulations!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 8 months ago #-
mamasteez
offlineMemberThank you again! :]
I have come to a realization that so many bad things were happening to me during the beginning of this year because I was so unhappy with how things were going. Now that I feel that I have been budding happiness left and right, good things have been happening every day, every where! My friends have noticed a change too. I've been having so much fun just hanging out with people that four months ago I was just "someone else's friend," and today I'm a "usual" - meaning I'm part of this group of people who just gleam positive energy.
I've already set plans for next week since school starts on Thursday. So I'm already eager to see how this next week plays out because Sunday I'm going to be catching up with a friend, I'll probably go on an "adventure" with him. Monday - Disneyland! Tuesday - Job appointment & then a whole bunch of us are going to go barhopping a ways away. The group will primarily consist of my "new" friends & some old mutual friends. But I'm too excited to start training on Wednesday & back to school it is! It has come up so fast. [:
I've also found some very fishy activity on my google web history too. Dun dun dun! It was weird but oh wellllllll. Also, I stayed out late with my friends in the very same building everything began, and while it was like a pang of nostalgia, I still had a good time and was able to deal with it without getting all emotional. Too proud of myself right now. :]
Posted 8 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberWell it's Sunday today! Last night I watched The Lion King in the comfort of my own home (Haha, THANK GOD.) For some reason, I completely started bawling at the sight of Nala & Simba - grown up. Hahahaha. It's making me laugh now but during that time, I was thinking, "WTF IS GOING ON!"
So clearly, I'm still feeling a little downtrodden by the whole thing. But that's okay cause I mean, during the first month of unofficial NC his best girl friend was constantly contacting me & I was so stupid to go along with it. Now I'm smart enough to watch what I say to her and she hasn't contacted me as much. So two months along the line, I was completely aware I'd feel some nostalgia but you know I can't do much about it than let it happen & move on.
I also just realized that girl contacted me about a week ago regarding something on my laptop which she probably didn't even know about until "he" told her but I was just civil with her & didn't let it phase me.
Anyways, I made plans to go out today. I was gonna go for a run a few hours ago after the movie ended but this area sucks and isn't safe so now I have to wait til morning... when I'm obviously not going to be awake before the heat sets in -_- oh well! There's always the afternoon!!
Posted 8 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberHey everyone! The ex never came for his stuff but I'm already at the point where I'm okay to give it allllll away. Haha My friends have already offered to take the stuff if he doesn't want to get it back.
Anyways! Today was absolutely amazing! (Well Monday) I made plans to go to Disneyland with a friend - just a friend. He picked me up from my house early in the morning after we discussed the arrangements the night before. We drove there and just non stop talked. No awkward silences or anything. We got hungry by the time we got there (~30 min) and so we ate & he paid! Haha So I told him I owed him but never actually had the chance to pay him back (he wouldn't let me!) Anyways, we got to the park & just had a great time. We rode on all the rides that we wanted to go on, went to CA adventure as well. We just laughed and talked the entire time from anything to everything we thought of. We did get a little competitive on Astroblasters & Toy Story (the interactive "rides" where you shoot targets and what not).. to the point where it got to playful shoving and blocking each other's guns. Haha We even took a drawing class! I don't know why but last time I went to the park, it wasn't as fun. Today, I just can't wait to go back and we can go back whenever we want because we both have passes. I don't know if this is going to turn into something more or what. As far as I see it, we're just friends & I think that's important for us to acknowledge. I know people I'm friends with or know are going to start talking -- but honestly, I don't care. I'm going to let them talk because it's my business.. not theirs.
I feel like today was a cherry on top of an ice cream sundae! I was positive and laughing almost the entire time - not because it was disneyland but because I was just having too much fun! I did have several people texting me about the whole ex-situation. But I was out so I quickly replied and let it go. Why bother with something that doesn't need to be bothered with? Anyways even though I did have some down times, it was definitely a good part on evolution today. I feel like I'm kicking ass!
Posted 8 months ago # -
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Posted 8 months ago mamasteez
offlineMemberNot doing well right now, someone just sent me an anonymous message on my blog saying, "I was waiting for you & __ break up! he's so cute!"
Like really? I'd NEVER say that to anyone in a million years. That's so messed up. I think I'm just hurt because someone was just rooting for failed relationships. It's sad to think someone thinks like that and it hurts!
But I can't let it bother me now. Just can't.
Posted 8 months ago #-
jasmine
offlineInactiveHey mamasteez,
Seems that's a kinda plot to get you break the NC.It was said to you deliberately just to bother you and your evolution in general.Normally people would not do that.See you keep moving with positive vibes
Stay strong & positive
Take Care,
JasminePosted 8 months ago # -
mamasteez said:
Not doing well right now, someone just sent me an anonymous message on my blog saying, "I was waiting for you & __ break up! he's so cute!"I would consider this an act of jealousy...why?
Because your strength intimidates them, and makes them feel weak so they have to lash out like cowards hiding behind the internet.
They envy you, and want to be like you.
Look upon this as a sign of your progress, you kicked someone's ass without even knowing it.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 8 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberThanks Jasmine! The funny thing is it's someone who follows me on my blog (tumblr) because it was coming directly after a post about how much better I feel about things. Totally shot me down but I do have a tracker on there! Not an IP one though, just a general what area has been looking at my blog sorta deal. Sooo whoever said it wasn't a bright bulb were they? Haha
&
Thanks SW! I would have never thought of it like that. For someone to not like me because who I was going out with is pretty low. To shoot me down when I'm coming back up, it's just dirt cheap. And your right, the fact that they hid like a coward is sad!
I should be flattered that someone is jealous of me, right? Haha It was kind of a low blow for them but hey, if they have to put other people down to make themselves feel better, karma's gonna kick them straight out to Mars.
Thanks guys :]
Posted 8 months ago # -
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Posted 8 months ago mamasteez
offlineMemberSo I asked a mutual friend to ask my ex if he still wants his stuff or not so I can get rid of them if needed & low & behold! I got a text from him this evening while I was working out (didn't have my phone on me)! Here's the general conversation:
Him: Hey what stuff do you have of mine again? I got rid of alot of clothes so I just wanna know if I still want them.
Me (1 hour later): Umm a pair of jeans , bball shorts, club shirt & a hood thing for a flannel? Also waffle maker & pictures of you & the guys so idk if u want those
Him: Which jeans? I dont care much for the other stuff
Me: Alright lol u shoulda told me sooner cuz I told u about the waffle maker like 243082 years ago. & Idk they're like black jeans?
Him (30 min later): My bad. I didnt realize it. You can just toss it all.
Me: Alright sounds good! Thanks for letting me know
Him (immediately): Sorry for the late notice. I have been busy for the past few days.So got that squared away! The waffle maker is actually going to my friend hahaha. She asked if she could have it if he didn't want it so might as well give it to her! Anyways, my roommate noticed I have the knack for always getting the last text in. And I am proud to say, the last two convos I had with the ex (about his stuff) didn't do it!
I decided: I don't have to respond to him saying sorry. Do I? I feel like I already said thanks & went along with my business. Soooo now I am definitely on my way to getting over him! :] And is it necessary to resend the NC msg? Or should I just leave it alone as is? I feel like I shouldn't bother cause we're not even talking anyways & I'm sure now he won't try to get a hold of me. (Even tho he still has my faaaaaaaaavorite water bottle which I had deemed a lost cause 2 months ago.) Plus, since it was through text if I respond so late would it be weird now to hit him with NC again?
Posted 8 months ago #-
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHi there,
Wow, someone is being jealous. Your advantage bcos obviously they can't have something that you own! Too bad they just love being anonymous. Don't worry about it, they are just your plain 2 cents.
Regarding your ex, you don't have to apologize for anything. Just ignore him. I don't think you have to resend NC since you are not breaking it at all. Well, we can ask SW about this.
You're doing great!
xxPosted 8 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberHi SweetC, Haha technicallllly I don't own him. I never did! I had him but never owned him. But it's fine if they're jealous. Those who have to put others down to feel better about themselves are weaksauce!
And I didn't reply to his apology but I did email SW asking if I should resend NC because he advised me to do so earlier before when I was going completely bonkers and freaking out about everything 3 weeks ago. How have times changed! School officially starts tomorrow. I have no idea what I'm going to wear yet! o.o But I assure you it's goin ta be cuteeeee! :]
Posted 8 months ago # -
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHi Mamasteez, lol, but still you had him before! Ahh, they are just jealous of you. Screw them.
I just reread your whole NC diary, and I think it's best if you should resend it. Since you guys are settled about each other's belongings.
admin said:
You didn't really break NC all that bad, but once you have all your stuff exchanged, re-send the NC message.After that you shouldn't have to communicate with him about anything, right?
Stay Strong and Positive!
So i guess there he goes, getting another NC message. I am so glad to hear that you are doing well. Time flies! I know I will be okay too when the right time comes! Have a great day in school, and yes, dress to your best! I'm sure you will look gorgeous!
xx
Posted 8 months ago # -
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Posted 8 months ago -
mamasteez said:
And is it necessary to resend the NC msg? Or should I just leave it alone as is? I feel like I shouldn't bother cause we're not even talking anyways & I'm sure now he won't try to get a hold of me.He didn't try to pry into your business, so I would just leave it.
This exchange of things is considered a closed matter, so if he tries to contact again, and it seems like a bullshit reason, send the NC message again.
Good Job on not getting in the last word!
That shows emotional control.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 8 months ago # -
mamasteez
offlineMemberAlright thanks everyone sounds good! I feel like if I did respond to that apology, it would have continued because he said it after I was just like a kthnxbai!-sorta deal but I didn't see a point in replying so left it as is.
See what happens now! I'm def on my way to a good life.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Marty
offlineMemberSeems like you are staying on the right path.
Don't even try to think about him contacting you again. Since you said you over think and over analyze, you could drive yourself nuts.
If you really are committed to NC and have NO desire to get back together with him, have you thought about deleting his phone number from your cell phone so you won't be tempted? Just a thought...
Stay strong!
Posted 8 months ago # -
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Posted 8 months ago mamasteez
offlineMemberHi Marty! Yeah, I've been working on that but I don't really think about him contacting me because I know he won't (unless he has a huge change of heart which I don't really care for right now)
And I actually deleted his number & everything a long time ago. I just know his number by heart because after 2.5 years it's kinda normal to memorize something like that.
But thanks :]
Posted 8 months ago #-
mamasteez
offlineMemberHey everyone! Sooooooo, I just got back from hanging out with friends at their place & from our welcome week concert this fine evening. I wasn't really expecting much but we had a great performer so it turned out great! I figured there's more than 17,000 students at our school, and while when I got there I was hoping to run into him... I was like what?! And began to think I probably won't run into him tonight!
Woah. Was I WAY wrong there. I was looking for a friend who was on the other side (who ended up moving to the front near the stage) & meanwhile, I've lacked adequate sleep, have nausea due to a barhopping night (which was way fun), & classes ALL day... i actually came up behind him & our mutual friends. NONE of them saw me as I was like 10 - 15 feet behind them & they were facing the stage... but once I saw him.. I literally started heaving again & hightailed it out of there. (Just so you know, LA waters are NOT the business :|) The music was loud enough for me to say OH SHIT & push my drunk friend who was guiding us through the crowd ALLLLLL the way to the other side as I ran right behind him. Too bad the rest of my friends who were nonchalantly still sober & walking slowly ended up having him say HI to them. It was a good 20 ~ 30 seconds before she caught up with me so I'm pretty sure he didn't see me... It's a concert! Outside! In the Dark!
Anyways, throughout that half of the concert I was having so much fun. I couldn't face the stage too long cause the lights made me sick but we were dancing & having a good time. By the time it ended, we called the friend at the front who ended up already being far near one of the buildings behind us. So we turned around hoping we could see them, and mind you, EVERYONE is literally leaving the area except for my group & people on the sides ... and who do I see facing my direction with probably a mutual friend? My ex of course. Just him. and a friend. standing in the middle of the area facing us while everyone is walking in the direction I'm turned to. That time though I didn't let it phase me as it was dark & I just turned around to face the rest of the group.
Awkward much? Hahaha. But that's my story with my FIRST sight of the ex after 3 months! o.0 It was a strange feeling, if I weren't nauseous Idk how it would have been really. But I didn't talk to him, nothing much had changed about his looks (which I found slightly strange b/c I asked him to cut his hair & style it like that cuz it's one of my faves & I thought it would look nice), and I had fun & was laughing & dancing & not just standing there like he was (as I saw the first time).
I didn't feel anything though. I don't know, it was weird. I wasn't hurt when I saw him, I wasn't expecting anything, I was just surprised & confused but I guess that's good I didn't go cry my eyes out! Haha
Posted 7 months ago # -
way to go!!!
keep it up..that means you are on your way getting your life back..and you began to see how much NC has evolved you, if not your life where you used to be before him, even better.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 7 months ago #
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