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vandy2159 - My NC Diary
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I will NEVER sell, trade, rent, or give away your information to any third party.
I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy PolicyPosted 3 months ago vandy2159 said:
I am at about 6 weeks since no contact was put into place and today I feel like I have been kicked back to square one...don't know why...I have a super strong urge to contact her today but know that I can notYou will never be back at square one, you have evolved past that point and can not slide that far back anymore.
Even when people break NC they never go all the way back, it's impossible.
This is just your mind playing tricks on you, and you can overcome it by remembering that you are not the same person you were, you are stronger now.
Everyday you stick to NC and allow yourself to evolve, you become stronger.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
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FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 3 months ago #-
vandy2159
offlineMemberWell today I had to see my ex with another guy for the first time...it was hard but I had one beer and I left gracefully...I didn't say hi to her I didn't look her way...I just got up and leave...it is kind of satisfying that she downgraded for sure...however I had a couple people tell me that it looks like she was just trying to get a reaction from me...I never gave her one...it was to be out see her and not h ave that empty sick feeling in my stomach anymore...I was actually able to come home and eat after this...so I think I am getting there
Posted 3 months ago # -
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Posted 3 months ago -
mamasteez
offlineMemberVandy, I'm glad you were able to act just so. That's a great feeling isn't it? Knowing that you are on that road to being able to not even flinch about the sight of her with another person. I know how that feels. But your ability to react so calmly is a huge step in your evolution. You can only go forward from here. Don't let the thoughts of the minor encounter pull you back!
Posted 3 months ago # -
vandy2159
offlineMemberToday I am actually doing pretty good...I had today off from school so what I did was go back and read almost every success story and that persons journal. I wanted to read them and look for common threads...I know I still want my ex back, however I know I have to be realistic...I also know every story is unique as well...
What I found is that almost everyone messed up no contact at some point...What I also noticed is that ALL lived their lives...the third that I found is that most probably about 80% heard from their ex at some point in time...
I know that I have avoided the first step pretty well...it has been hell but i have done it...I have started doing part number two I think very well...I am doing everything that I did while I was with her and before her...However I have not really had any contact from her since i have given her things back...I know we are not suppose to worry about it however I do think it is a viable component becuase when they ex's in the success story were contacting the dumpee, to me, it showed that they did still care and have some type of feelings...However I am not seeing that...
I pray and I believe in LOA 100%...I ask for signs all the time as to which direction I should go with this...Today I think a huge billboard was put in front of me to walk a way...
I will not be reconnecting unless I hear from my ex...tomorrow is two months since this all went into place...I am being realistic. I am not has broken up about this as I thought I would be. Because if you are going to have faith you can not question it. You have to accept it and know that what doesnt make sense in the present will make sense in the future.
Plus the last two days I have been able to come in contact with two girls that upon first sight made my heart skip a beat or two...They were both very very attractive and they both coach one swimming one basketball I love that...Not that anything is ever going to come of these two meetings I think that is Gods way of saying start shopping again...I know I will see both of them again in time...I am not in a hurry to date anyone but it is nice to know that their are plenty of options and that even though I think my ex is the most stunning girl I have ever seen, (she is red headed and just gorgeous, first red head i ever dated) there are a lot of beautiful woman out there...
So today at 2 months I am know letting go of reconnection and I am going to just have faith in everything that I do...I read a quote "If you dont pray when it is sunny out, dont pray when its raining" I love it...Stay strong...
Posted 3 months ago # -
break222
offlineMemberwow i can't believe how far you have come in just two month. if i look at my progress at two month it was way different. you are absolutely right about your last sentence. everything will work out even if it is not going to be how you expect it. just have faith!
Posted 3 months ago # -
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Posted 3 months ago -
vandy2159
offlineMemberIt has been a while since I have posted...for the most part things are good. Staying busy with coaching and teaching. However I been starting to think about the ex again...I almost screwed up and contacted her but I came here to post instead of slipping up. Holidays are hard but I expected that. I do feel better posting here instead of making a mistake and going backwards...
Posted 2 months ago # -
Pixie
offlineMemberGreat job at not breaking NC vandy, we all have those feelings no matter how far along we are but keeping strong & moving forward is the best remedy! You should be proud of yourself for keeping strong, we are all here to support you...pm me anytime if you need to chat!
Posted 2 months ago # -
break222
offlineMembervandy, you're doing great. Don't worry about the thoughts. They do creep in at times but the way you dealt with it was absolutely right. Coming here and let it out. I think the thoughts just come back because we haven't thought about it in a while. So just expect it to happen and realize that it is nothing more than just thoughts. You can control them !!!
Posted 2 months ago # -
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Posted 2 months ago vandy2159 said:
I almost screwed up and contacted her but I came here to post instead of slipping up.Getting a couple forum buddies will be great support in stressful (weak) moments.
A good forum buddy or two is priceless, and being someone else's buddy is a great thing too.
That is the magic of our forum...constructive support, not a whining session.
While it is very good to "release" your pent up emotions, if you leave the tap open too long you become emotionally drained, and weak, and then you fold.
Your FB should be there to help you turn off the tap, so that doesn't happen.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 2 months ago #-
vandy2159
offlineMemberThanks Break, Pixie, and Scott I really appreciate it...I do have a forum buddy so that does help...I was just in one of those ruts where it seemed as if everything was reminding me...I did feel weak and I fought it hard...it feels good that I did not crack...Feel much better now as the day has gone on...moving on to bigger and better things...just have to keep the big pitcher in mind...and use the fast forward technique...that is a huge lifesaver...For not breaking today I think it might be a chicken burrito night
Posted 2 months ago # -
vandy2159
offlineMemberWell things are going well...not great but good...we are in the heart of our swim season and my girls have swam very well so far. We have a big meet this weekend...school is busy but good...I have just about everything organized and I am ready to get a head start on lesson planning for next quarter..finances are comming around...I am starting to get a head and I think I will be able to take a decent vacation this spring...have not been on one in a while...I think I want to take a cruise so I will have to hit the gym now to be ready...I still have thoughts but they are so much easier to control and they are no longer controling me...I believe this all happens for a reason...what that reason is only time will tell...stay strong...
Posted 2 months ago # -
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Posted 2 months ago vandy2159
offlineMemberThings are still going well...Work is good actually it is really good on christmas break right now...so it is nice to get a little break. I am still going strong with no contact it will be 3 months on christmas eve...It is really hard during the holidays I will admit that I have had moments where I wanted to contact her but I have not done so...
What I did instead is read on line...One article I read made a great point. The holidays come and go in a matter of 2 to 3 weeks...Your ex hasnt wanted to talk before that why would the holidays make it any different. People, myself included, think and feel the holidays is a magical cure and it is ok to contact them. But in all reality it will only set you back further. I am sticking to no contact...Holidays are special to me as I am sure they are to many...But I am more important to me then the holidays right now...
The other thing this has done is it made me realize I am no where near as evolved as I need to be. I think I have made strides but I have a LONG LONG LONG way to go. I know I will get there...every journey begins with one step...I know I have been taking many but there are still many to take...
Posted 2 months ago #-
vandy2159 said:
People, myself included, think and feel the holidays is a magical cure and it is ok to contact them. But in all reality it will only set you back further.Exactly!
What everyone needs to realize is that evolving past a break up is no different then wanting to learn something new, like how to live without your ex.
You will fail on occasion, guaranteed, you will go two steps forward and sometimes 3 steps back.
But...
If you stay consistent you will gain ground, two steps forward, one step back, two steps forward, no steps back, 3 steps forward, and no steps back.
You have to focus on the long term.
Great Job Vandy!
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 2 months ago # -
vandy2159 said:
Well it has officially been 3 months today since no contact has been in placeGreat Job Vandy!
Merry Christmas!
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 2 months ago # -
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Posted 1 month ago -
vandy2159
offlineMemberOk so it has been about two weeks since I posted on here and I havent even realized it. Life has been good I have been busy with school and coaching and going out with friends and just enjoying myself...
Every year when it is the new year I always buy myself a new pair of shoes and supplements to get me back into the gym and start working out and turn the page...it is my way of really letting go and getting back on track...I did that...and today was to be my first day back in the gym...
So as I have officially let it all go I am at practice and I see that I have a text...I look at it and sure enough it is the ex...but I have no idea what the text is about...all she texted me was the letter "I"...I have no idea what the hell that even means...needless to say I did not text back...I have realized that I still love her but I do not want to see her yet...I am not evolved...I am just starting...I finaly got my apartment all cleaned up...I am starting to add stuff to it...I want to get a new vehicle this summer...and I want to become the workout worrior I use to be...
I am not going to lie I thought about that text for a couple hours today...I am a very black or white person...i am so analytical...and I realized that is one of my fualts...and why i struggle with relationships at times...I thought well maybe she butt texted me? then i thought well that is impossible...then I thought well maybe she was sending me a sentence and wanted to delete it and then she accidently hit send with just the I...then I thought...what the fuck this is stupid and I just let it go again...
If the evolution is starting to work on her then I will here from her again...if it was an accident then it was an accident...either way I am not done with me yet and that is all that matters...
So it is getting better and I do think the universe works in strange mysterious ways...keep strong take care of you and who knows what will happen...it is not a surprise if you are always sitting there waiting for it...get out ther and just live it...stay strong...
Posted 1 month ago # -
vandy2159
offlineMemberCWell tomorrow would have been 4 months of no contact...however fate works in mysterious ways
on Saturday my buddy invited me to a bar that was having a customer appreciation night...I found out 10 minutes before I was suppose to leave that my ex would be there...I was still going to go...I got there before she did and I was sitting at the bar...I saw her and her friends walk in and I didn't get flustered at all...we just kept talking and watching the game...eventually my ex and I made eye contact so I smiled and I waved....however I didn't get up and run over to her I just kept being me and having fun...
As the night went on I noticed that she was sitting at a table then she would get up and move a little closer...then go back to the table...this pattern continued for a couple hours until eventually she was pretty much next to me...so I just looked at her and said aren't you going to at least say hi...I smiled she smiled and then gave me a hug...
The night continued and we were just talking...I wasn't falling in love with her but I did feel is that I finaly found by best friend again...it was so nice to just talk like we use to...we never brought up the past we just were in the moment and it was great...she then asked me to play cornhole so we did...her friends got to drunk and had to leave...she didn't want to so she stayed and we continued to hang out...I ended up giving her a ride back and we went and got food...
No contact absolutely works guys scott is so right on the money....if I would not have stayed with no contact I would have never gotten over the old relationship...I felt like I met my ex for the first time last Saturday and it was fun...but if I wouldn't have taken the time for me I wouldnot have been ready for that encounter...I had to be ready for the fastball and I was...I knocked it out of the park...
By no means am I saying that I am back together with my ex...do I want that? I don't know...I'm still not going to contact her...because I want her to do some work...but like in momu I am ok if she doesn't want anything more...I have I am 100% positive hse noti
Posted 1 month ago # -
vandy2159
offlineMemberSorry my phone messed up so picking up where I left off...I'm 100% positive she noticed the change...I'm going to go very slow and really figure out what I want...my friends said she definately seemed interested but I know there is still a lot of work a head...stay in no contact because you will not lose it is only a win win situation...scott many thanks to you!
Posted 1 month ago # -
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Posted 1 month ago vandy2159 said:
but I know there is still a lot of work a headIt is not so much "work", but it is a process of evolving (changing), and that takes time and patience.
I guess the real work would be being cultivating the necessary patience to commit 12 months to the no contact rule.
Keep up the good work!
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 1 month ago #-
vandy2159
offlineMemberDamn scott you are good...when I talk about work it is the patince needed to allow yourself the time needed to get yourself back...we don't lose ourself in one day so we are not going to get ourself back that fast either...it is definately a process and it was worth it...I was going to talk to a girl that night regardless because I felt good! Fate just so happen to make it my ex...but when italked to her it definately didn't feel like talking to an ex...she felt new and interesting and exciting and mysterious...everything a new first encounter should feel like...but I do know that I have a lot more process to go...but if it wasn't for your free plan my road map I would still be lost and I would have swung and missed Saturday regardless od who it was...
Posted 1 month ago #
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