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Inspirational Articles and Stories
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I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy PolicyPosted 2 years ago rudy
offlineInactiveChange Your Thoughts Change Your Life
http://www.first30days.com/blog/main/2010/05/change-your-thoughts-change-your-life/"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt."Posted 2 years ago #-
missjcjc
offlineInactiveSome films I have found inspring recently are:
'It's complicated' with Meryl Streep. It's about a woman whose husband left her for another (younger) woman, after 10 years she has an 'affair' with her ex husband. I won't tell you the outcome however it is inspiring, heartwarming and funny! It cheered me up anyway.
Another feel good film is 'Legally Blond' - all about a girl who was dumped for being apparently not smart enough... well she goes out and proves them wrong... and gets over her ex in the process.
Another one, which a friend of mine was talking about, although I have not seen it, is a film called breakup... basically about two people who are in love going through the break up process... think it has a postive end. So, if you fancy a movie, perhaps try one of these.Posted 1 year ago # -
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Posted 1 year ago -
Denlee599
offlineMemberdh said:
I wanted to share this : Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/fashion/02love.htmlExcellent Article......I'm kinda doing the same thing....but, I mess up every once in awhile and blow up. I'll try harder now.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Vim
offlineMemberOnce Upon A Time...
A prince asked a beautiful princess...
"Will you marry me?"
The Princess said "NO!"
And the Prince lived happily ever after, and rode motorcycles, and went fishing, and hunting, and played golf, and fucked women half his age, and drank beer, and scotch and had tons of money in the bank, and scratched his balls without criticism and left the toilet seat up goddamnit.
The end
Posted 1 year ago # -
Cello
offlineMemberThis article really helped me releasing the anger. Set them free and don't live in the past. Focus on present/future. Stay strong everyone!
"Often what keeps us held a prisoner to thinking about the pain is our anger towards the person or event that was the cause of our pain. That anger keeps us thinking about what happened. The angrier we are the more we focus on it. As we focus on it, we relive the experience and feel the pain over and over again. What you need to realize is that the event, the moment that caused the emotional pain is over. The only thing that keeps that moment alive is the fact that you are thinking about it. The moment you do not think about it, it no longer is happening. It is not happening because it really is not happening, it already happened. What is happening right now is what is happening right now.
The irony is that the person who was the cause of this pain, that person is not thinking about it. The person involved has moved on and is living his or her life while you are stuck living the event of what they did. The road to you be free of holding on to that anger and living that moment endlessly is forgiving that person and you yourself moving on. The same is true of an event, meaning a hurricane might have blown your house down ... forgive and move on, don't stay in anger destroying the quality of your peace of mind.
When I tell people how forgiveness is the way to achieve freedom and peace in your life, I am often met with resistance. Forgiveness is a hard pill for someone who has suffered at the hand of another to swallow. The feelings are often that certain things are unforgivable. Further, forgiveness feels as though you are condoning the act, that you are saying what the person did is okay. To this, there is a great misunderstanding of what forgiveness in these situations mean.
When people hear that someone who has been wronged is able to forgive the perpetrator of the act, they think the person forgiving is an amazingly kind person who is selfless. That in order to forgive, maybe you don't really care what that person did, or that you are trying to be holy. What might surprise you is that forgiveness has nothing to do with any of that, not caring, being kind, holy or selfless. In fact, forgiveness is a very selfish act.
In order to understand what forgiveness is really about you need to let go of your anger. The anger is controlling you and clouding your vision. What you are really saying when you forgive someone is that they no longer have a hold on you. That you will not live tormented by what they did. That you are releasing them from your mind. You are forgiving that person not for them, but for yourself."
Posted 1 year ago # -
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Posted 1 year ago sanj
offlineMemberThis story is so inspiring, hope all of you believe in yourself and believe in your dreams, and come out stronger, no matter what circumstances life throws at you. I am deeply touched with this story and it makes me believe that with every failure there is success.
This story is about a girl called Rose. She came from a very poor family and lived in a village with her mother and sibling. She was a brilliant skate dancer and worked as a trainer, with the job she was able to support herself and her family, but her only dream was to win the best talent award in the country, She worked very hard and practiced with her colleague Tom for the auditions, every one in her family and boys in the Neighborhood hood made fun of her, and kept teasing her, that a girl from such poor family and village can not be more than a trainer ever, She believed in her dreams though and continued with her practice.
One day she meets and accident, the guy who unintentionally hit her with the car, was one of the boys from the Neighborhood, called Anthony, after the accident, she went in coma, and became blind once she recovered. She was sad, but did not loose hope in life, she called her colleague Tom for the practice, however he turns her down as he does not want to participate with a blind girl, who can not even walk straight and spoil his chances to win the competition.
Anthony knew about this, although he never confessed to anyone that he was the one responsible, although he was very guilty and wanted to help Rose. Anthony was a boxer and fought with a band on his eyes, he fought like a blind, just working with other senses of hearing, and smelling. He knew he could help Rose.
She accepted the offer, and he trained her so well that she did not even feel that she was blind, Anthony then pushed her to continue with the practice and called her colleague, Rose turned him down, she did not want mercy, she did not want pity from her colleague Tom, not even at the cost of forgetting about her only dream.
She became such a strong person, with this incident and did not want, pity, and eventually ask Anthony to learn skating and take part with her, as she thinks of him like a good friend, this time she trained him and they became the best dancers and passed through the audition.
Anthony was falling in love with Rose, not out of guilt or pity but true love. She started falling in love with him too. Once the reach the final level to the competition, she finds out that it was Anthony, who hit her, she was sad and taken aback. Her dream was again were on the rocks, but guys, she did not beg, or cry, she did not panic, but kept her dignity and stop talking to Anthony, as she felt, all he did for her, was out of guilt and he pitied her, he did not love her.
The final day of the competition, she decided to dance alone, and she did, but as soon as she was to be disqualified, Anthony comes on the stage, dancing silently next to her, but by now, she was trained, to smell and hear and she knew, he had come, he asked her to dance with her, and win this and not punish herself because of him, THEY WON, her childhood dream came true.
Anthony vanished after that, and after a couple of days, she goes to Anthony and tells him, that she never knew, why god made her blind, she felt betrayed, but now she knows, that God wanted her to get her dreams fulfilled, with all the more power, and not fall even when she was blind.This is true love, sometimes, people who hurt us the most, bring out the best in us.
sanjPosted 1 year ago #-
Becky Cheung
offlineMemberHow to Contorl the Vicious Cycle Of Your Memories
When you go through a break up or divorce, everything reminds you of your Ex. Sometimes it’s pretty weird, (you’ll know what I mean if you’ve been there). You make the silliest connections just to be reminded of what has happened to you.
That’s why I always recommend cleaning up your house and getting rid of everything that reminds you about your Ex. Nothing should remind you about the past at home.
And remember what is most important: do not torture yourself with unnecessary memories!
What do I mean by that?
There is this curious affinity to suffering. Something forces us to rethink, to evaluate, to relive the moments of the break up again and again, as if we will gain something very important from it.
In fact the exact opposite is the case: we suffer and move deeper and deeper into the vicious circle of negative emotions.
Why do we torture ourselves deliberately?
This is something I asked myself over and over again when I suffered from a break up. This is a usual pattern I encounter very often in my personal coaching.
It is always the same sequence:
1.There is an urge to think and reason about specific key situations with your Ex.
2.You connect suffering to these memories.
3.There is a further urge to deepen and reason these thoughts with the intention to ease the pain, (but this only leads deeper into pain).
4.Any attempt to escape this pattern causes feelings of guiltThat’s when we are caught into this vicious cycle from which it’s very difficult to escape.
How do we escape this vicious cycle?
It’s better to not get sucked into it in the first place, because once you’re in it, you program yourself to the suffering-path, and you get deeper and deeper into depression. This is more difficult to escape than to avoid it from the beginning.
The only way to not get pulled into it (and to escape from it once you’re in) is Mind Control.
Our Monkey-Mind makes it sometimes impossible for us to follow our thoughts, because there seems to be a lot of unconscious processes going on. The key to Mind Control is to make these unconscious thoughts conscious, and to learn to avoid or replace unwanted thoughts. This is often an arduous task to accomplish, especially during a high-emotional state like a break up or divorce.
A big problem and an obstacle is step 4 in the sequence: not thinking about these Ex-memories causes guilt because you are under the impression that you MUST think about your Ex, that you have to keep him/her alive in your memories. Forgetting him/her would mean betrayal.
This is WRONG thinking. A trick of our minds.
To control your thoughts and thereby suppress certain painful memories does NOT mean that you have to forget your Exes, or the memories you have from the time you were together.
It only means that you refuse to torture yourself.
Being caught in this vicious cycle of memories really doesn’t have any point. You cannot get your Ex back with it, and you certainly will not gain a clue about the reasons why you broke up in the first place.
You will only postpone your healing process.
This is a very important fact to realize.
So, break through! Don’t allow yourself to be pulled inside.
Here are some ways to avoid the cycle:
1.Put your thoughts under a “surveillance-mode”
Monitor your thoughts and note when you are thinking them.
2.Do not take a whole day as a goal
Try a short period first and then expand it (“now I take one hour where I will not think about my Ex).
3.Distract yourself at “difficult times”
There are times of the day when it’s more difficult to control your thoughts. Distract yourself then: go to the gym, meet some friends…
4.Don’t take alcohol or drugs hoping to free your mind
It will backfire badly.
5.Clean your apartment of the “Ex-Stuff”
Do not leave anything behind. Put it in a box and hide it in the cellar.
6.Don’t listen to “break up songs”, or watch “romantic love movies”
They will only make you feel bad.
7.Learn how to meditate
Meditation is a very good way to master mind control (if not the ONLY way)
8.Avoid negative people and resist the urge to “talk about it”
To tell everyone about your break up is characteristic of the 1st phase, and something that is recommended. But not forever.Remember: emotional suffering isn’t something that is imposed upon you from the outside world. It is the influence, [b]but the suffering is caused only by yourself. It is caused by the way you interpret things in your life.
Remember that, and choke it off early.
Think good – feel good. This is a shortcut to healing from a break up.
Best Regards
BeckyPosted 1 year ago # -
Becky Cheung
offlineMemberPeace of Mind Tips and Advice
By Remez SassonHere are a few simple things that can help you:
-Reduce the amount of time you read the newspapers or watch the news on TV.
-Stay away from negative conversations and from negative people.
-Don't hold grudges. Learn to forget and forgive. Nurturing ill feelings and grievances hurts you and causes lack of sleep.
-Don't be jealous of others. Being jealous means that you have low self-esteem and consider yourself inferior to others. This again, causes lack of inner peace.
-Accept what cannot be changed. This saves a lot of time, energy and worries.
-Every day we face numerous inconveniences, irritations and situations that are beyond our control. If we can change them, that's fine, but this is not always possible. We must learn to put up with such things and accept them cheerfully.
-Learn to be more patient and tolerant with people and events.
-Don't take everything too personally. Some emotional and mental detachment is desirable. Try to view your life and other people with a little detachment and less involvement. Detachment is not indifference, lack of interest or coldness. It is the ability to think and judge impartially and logically. Don't worry if again and again you fail to manifest detachment. Just keep trying.
-Let bygones be gone. Forget the past and concentrate on the present moment. There is no need to evoke unpleasant memories and immerse yourself in them.
-Practice some concentration exercises. This will help you to reject unpleasant thoughts and worries that steal away your peace of mind.
-Learn to practice meditation. Even a few minutes a day will make a change in your life.
Inner peace ultimately leads to external peace. By creating peace in our inner world, we bring it into the external world, affecting other people too.
Best Regards
BeckyPosted 1 year ago # -
sheesh
offlineMemberto feel like a man magnet and feel desirable once again:Try this -
1. Imagine that your attractiveness is
boundless, your eyes are magnets, your heart is an
open pool of gold that every man wants to dive
into, and your body (no matter what you think) is
a lush place that every man longs for, feels
awestruck just thinking about getting close to,
and yet feels safe within.2. Imagine that's what HE sees, thinks and
feels.3. Whatever doubts, fears and thoughts that
come up inside your head about being a boundless,
magnetic pool of gold that every man longs for -
let that nasty voice, those negative images, that
heavy perspective simply STEP ASIDE.4. Let them simply step out of your picture for
a moment (all you need is a moment), so this man
who sees magnets, gold, boundless lushness and
safety in you can GET to you.5. Paint this picture for yourself in your
imagination right now, this moment, and keep it
going all day and night, no matter what happens.6. Once this imaginary picture is in your mind,
and the good feelings it brings are in your heart
and body - when you're in the market, at the
drugstore, walking down the street, waiting in
line at the coffee house - you will begin to
EXPERIENCE yourself as a magnet for men.
You will easily be able to imagine the energy of
every REAL man coming towards you.7. Leanback - actually tilt your body backwards
-- to keep your energy in "Receiving" mode while
you're imagining every man you meet (especially
the one you may be in a relationship with right
now) GIVING energy to YOU.Posted 1 year ago # -
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Posted 1 year ago happybunny
offlineInactiveOh wow, this article really hit home for me. I found it at baggage reclaim:
"I regularly hear from readers who damn well near get a thrill each time their ex tries to make contact and feel fueled by the 'power' of the cat and mouse game that is being created. Why does this happen?
Because they are still seeking validation from them and may not have fully admitted that they are trying to play a game to 'win'.
Either way, both behaviours are actually facilitating an unhealthy dynamic and 1) undermining your own efforts and 2) if the other party recognises that it's a game, undermining your credibility.
There comes a point in NC when if you haven't done so already, you have to get real with yourself and acknowledge whether you've been going through the motions of NC as a way of playing a game that triggers their 'true' desires (read: manipulates them into taking action).
Some people attempt to use NC as a way of bringing about a desired action by limiting supply to trigger 'demand' and 'desire'. This however works far better in sales and marketing of products than it ever does in relationships.This is because NC teaches someone boundaries that have not existed and communicates that whatever access they've previously enjoyed, it's over. NC says that the relationship is over and that even if they won't respect you, you're going to respect yourself. It distances you from the source of the pain and by using NC to gain objectivity and focus on yourself, it helps you grieve the relationship, move on, and adapt healthier love habits.
Using NC to play games however, instills temporary boundaries that slide back down if and when you 'win' the game. Unless you intend to permanently maintain the level of demand you created through NC which is pretty exhausting and like committing yourself to permanent game playing, you'll give them too much credibility and assume that they have learned the lesson...permanently.
In fact, game playing creates very short-term results plus you're left with the instability of not only wondering if they're with you for genuine reasons or manipulated ones, but also the insecurity of wondering how long your 'result' will last for.
You may think you're teaching them a lesson but it may not be the lesson you intended - you've taught them that when things don't go your way, you'll say it's over, cut off, they chase you, you 'wear down' eventually, and take them back. Should it happen again, which it will, they'll recognise the game and will be half-hearted which means you'll have to step up the game play. Plus, who wants to maintain their relationship based on the drama created by a cat and mouse game of creating uncertainty?
If you want a healthy relationship, that person cannot be you. If you're playing games, quit while you're ahead & get out of the drama cycle and get serious about NC."We tend to seek happiness when happiness is actually a choice.Posted 1 year ago #-
wpggirl
offlineInactiveSomeone Sent this to me.."anonymous" and would like to share
As I watch the sun rise once again and hear birds singing of freedom
the heat of the hot summer climbing as the new day begins it's destiny,
I cry, unabashedly, unashamed...for all the sorrow in the world around me.
All the broken promises and hearts fill the air with the sweat of their tears.
The pain that mankind pours upon one another lingers in the midst of the humid day.
I weep, as I have never done before,for the lost life's, the lost love's
that were taken and disposed of contemptuously
now lay in the breeze sweeping across timelike so many other forgotten memories.
Wrapping my arms around myself tightlywish...ing that peace, mercy and love would
FINALLY arise like the phoenix from the ash
to fill, all mankind with humility of truth
to know that love begins when hatred ends.Live,Love, LaughPosted 1 year ago # -
greens
offlineMember“It’s about a woman I’ve been seeing on and off for the last four years”.
For 20-or-so- minutes he told me about the woman he loves. The story began with how much he loves her… she is the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, etc… midway she was the most manipulative B-word he’d ever met… and by the end of the story, I’d have sworn I’d just been introduced to the profile of she-devil incarnate.
“If you really think that of her, why do you still want her?” I interjected almost knowing the response. I’ve heard this same script over and over.
“What I want to know is why she can’t just let me go? I am tired of not knowing where I stand. If she doesn’t love me, I’ll be okay with that and will move on.”
“May be she has told you in her own way but you don’t want to let her go”.
“Told me what?”
“Told you how she really feels about you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Her actions and the way she treats you isn’t consistent with someone who loves you. Love is supposed to make you feel good about yourself – and life in general. You obviously aren’t feeling too good”.
“You’re right about the not feeling too good part. It’s been like this for years. Every time I decide to move on, she contacts me, asks me to come over and stirs my feelings, then disappears. She just won’t let me go.”
“So why don’t you let her go instead?”
You should have seen the look of anxiety, worry and fear on his face. You’d think I just asked him to kill himself!
“Does he/she or doesn’t he/she love me” is a manipulative ploy that both men and women use to keep the other person confused, uncertain, insecure and second-guessing him or herself. It usually works because there are men and women – young and old — who confuse love and manipulative control – and sadly just as many who will use love as a manipulative tool.
Any time someone exerts pressure/force to get what he or she wants from you or intentionally says or does things to generate anxiety or insecurity or worry, you’re not being loved, you’re being manipulated.
It’s all about control and power – one of the worst forms of emotional abuse. The most dangerous part of this guessing mind game is the unhealthy link between love and emotional abuse. The little “tokens of love” the other person throws your way once in a while may seem like expressions of love but in reality are tools of manipulation and control.
It’s like a physically abused woman saying “But he apologizes and treats me really wonderful afterwards”. In her mind she’s made an unhealthy link between love and abuse.
You are enabling and feeding the sickness and the other person is most likely controlling and emotionally abusing you in ways you are not even aware of. No wonder you feel like crap.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Marie21
offlineMemberI thought I'd share this since, I only listed the ones for single, NC, & Broken Hearted
45 Tips For Surviving Christmas/The Holidays Whether You’re Single, In a Relationship, No Contact or Broken Hearted
by NML on December 17, 20101. In essence, it’s one day out of 365 or a few weeks out of the year when you add in the build up and festivities. I’m not saying it’s not a special time but it is a highly commercial time that puts a lot of pressure on people. Keep things in perspective.
4. Single? Missing an ex? Broken hearted? Make plans. Seriously. Being single isn’t a death sentence or the horrendous time you pass between relationships and the fact of the matter is that if you end up feeling that your Christmas was ruined, it won’t be your exe’s fault, or whoever or whatever it is that you’re blaming – it will be yours.
6. Set your own values about Christmas. It doesn’t matter what Tom, Dick, Harry and Samantha are doing. Judge and decide your own way of celebrating the season because if you try to keep up with others, you will never be happy.
7. Whatever your relationship status, treat yourself to something nice. I always do!
8. I hate to say it but be prepared for exes to creep out of the woodwork with dumb texts, even sillier emails, calls to test the water to see if you’re interested, and maybe even some protestations of how much they have changed. Tis the season for nostalgia. When people get lonely, especially unavailables and assclowns and remember the last time someone idolised them, ignored their blatant red flag behaviour and gave them a shag, an ego stroke and a shoulder to lean on, they hastily head for the path of least resistance. Don’t let that be you.
11. Don’t get back with an ex because you hate the idea of not being with someone for Christmas. Unless the reasons why you broke up no longer exist (and not just because you blotted them out and came up with your own fantasy), those reasons will not change because it’s tinsel time. This is not a Christmas rom com movie!
12. Please state the nature of your call. Ok you don’t have to say it like that, but if your ex calls and you answer, you need to get a definitive answer to the question of ‘Why are you calling me?’. If they say that they miss you, make sure you ask exactly what this means too. Missing you and I want to get back together are two entirely different things.
13. Do not let your vagina or penis make your decisions for you this Christmas, or anytime for that matter. I know you can get horny and think that your ex or that person from your office or whoever is just the thing to give you a boost, but just be careful of acting off your libido and being left with a long lasting hangover.
14. No drunk dialling, dropped calls, emails to ‘see how they are’, calls to see how they’re doing, or sending an ‘innocent’ Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas/Happy New Year text. All of these actions are attention seeking and ways of re-opening contact.
15. If you’re a rubbernecker and they’re on Facebook and they’ve moved on to someone else, don’t spend your time stalking the site for pictures to show up of them enjoying yourself. Talk about punishing yourself! Go out and enjoy yourself and create your own new memories and pictures.
19. Please, I beg you, don’t spend the entire time waiting for an ex to call. Doing this is like continuing the relationship albeit in your head on some alternate universe. It doesn’t make sense for you to play the waiting game while they go on their merry way enjoying their life.
35. Don’t reject the offer of plans with friends, family, and acquaintances because you don’t want to appear ‘lonely’ or ‘desperate’. There is such a thing as having too much pride and/or punishing yourself. It’s one thing if you are genuinely happy in your own company and want to be on your own but if you do want company, don’t reject it over how you might appear.
36. Tempted to get in contact with an ex? Hold that thought for at least 24 hours. List the reasons why you’re getting in touch and ensure that they are not short-term reasons but medium to long-term reasons that are evidence based. i.e Don’t get in touch because you hope they’ve changed or that they will if you take them back.
37. Seriously, don’t buy a gift for your ex or send them a card. You’ll just look weird.
38. If you fall off the wagon, dust yourself off and get back on it. Don’t wallow. You sucked, you saw, learn your lesson and move on.
41. This time of year can be a test of your boundaries, particularly with family/friends who may take liberties and make demands. It’s up to you to work out what you want to say yes and no to, but make sure that if you don’t assert your boundaries and where appropriate, look for solutions for compromise, you going to feel very frustrated, resentful, and even angry. You cannot please everyone.
42. If you’re no contact, keep busy and have options for what you can do when you feel bored so that you don’t look to your ex as a solution for the boredom. Have friends and family on call so you don’t look to your ex as a solution for loneliness. Have a list of the reasons why you’re NC as a solution for feeling nostalgic.
43. This time of year is really tough when you miss someone or you feel awful because it feels like they don’t miss you. We want people to care, to regret, to miss us. It’s understandable but be careful of being hijacked by these feelings and being compelled to chase them for a sign of their affection so that you can feel less ‘rejected’. It doesn’t mean someone doesn’t miss you if they don’t get in touch – they may know that the ship has sailed or are respecting your wishes because they know they can’t give you what you want. And sadly, they may miss you but it may not be for reasons you would like… Renew your focus on your own life.
44. If you’re no contact/broken hearted/not spending Christmas with someone, put yourself on a diet – this means setting yourself the task of focusing your thoughts and conversation on everything but them from the 24th-26th. Or choose a longer or shorter period but do at least a day.
45. Use the festive season to give yourself the gift of forgiveness and a clean slate. There is no benefit to you to sit there beating yourself up about your relationship choices. You’re human, you screw up, and either trust too much or trust in the wrong things instead of the right things. Spending the holidays blaming and shaming is of no benefit to you. You can’t change what’s happened but you can ensure that you counteract what has happened by treating yourself better and learning more about you and your choices so that you can avoid going down the same path. Knowledge is power. Forgiveness is power and I’ll put it this way – if you can forgive a guy so easily, you should certainly be able to cut yourself some slack!
Happiness is a choice, it is your choice, you have to make it.
Time heals almost everything, give time time....Posted 1 year ago # -
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Posted 1 year ago Marie21
offlineMember45 Lessons in Life
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you're sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than to cry alone.
8. It's OKAY to get angry at God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ in the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words "In five years will this matter?".
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow. But it's still a gift.Happiness is a choice, it is your choice, you have to make it.
Time heals almost everything, give time time....Posted 1 year ago #-
greens
offlineMemberThe Allegory of Dumbo's Feather
Remember Dumbo? It was an animated film by the Walt Disney Studios released in 1941. There's some pretty uncomfortable politically incorrect characterizations in it, which may be one reason it's not a popular DVD redux feature.
But that's not my point today. In the spirit of not throwing the baby out with the bathwater, let me tell you the heart of the Dumbo story. I think it has a significant take-home message that we could all use.
It's typical Disney: A cuter than cute infant elephant is born to a circus performing Mom. Mom adores her baby despite his fatal flaw – really ugly, gi-huge-ic ears.
Mom dies (tear jerker!) leaving the baby an orphan with no means of support. He is forced to become a clown elephant, poor little guy. A helpful circus mouse (Disney, remember?) points out that if he opened up his giant ears he could fly and thus become a big star. Dumbo, being no dummy, disagrees, until the mouse says he's got a magic feather. If Dumbo would just hold the magic feather in his trunk, open up his wings and jump off the high-dive platform, he would fly.
Desperate to get away from the creepy clowns, Dumbo gives the magic feather a go. He takes a leap of faith.
His big ears hold the air and off he goes flying all over the Big Top, strafing the clowns with popcorn! Dumbo becomes a big star!
Weeks, months go by. Convinced that the magic feather is what keeps him afloat, Dumbo continues to fly. One fine day, flying along at cruising altitude, a strong wind whisks the feather out of his trunk. Horrified, Dumbo drops like a stone. The mouse, hitching a ride in his hat, screams at Dumbo that the feather was a trick, a ruse, a lie! He could fly without the feather!
Could this be true? At the last possible moment, just before he and the mouse would go splat all over the sidewalk, Dumbo opens up his giant ears and soars!
The End
Recently I shared this story with a few clients. They were talking about people, places or things they felt they needed in their lives to function. Without these people, places or things, my clients were convinced they were incompetent, incomplete wrecks. Their Dumbo feather could be a person close to them, a relative, friend, or spouse. The relationship began as friendly and somehow evolved to dependent. The Dumbo feather could be a job that keeps them down or a house with so much sentimental baggage they can't let it go.
What would happen if we let go of our Dumbo feather? That's not to say we need to end the relationship, although in some cases that might be the best thing. Usually it just means daring to make a decision without consulting with so-and-so first or beginning a job search, even exploring starting your own business, while holding onto the one that is needed to pay the bills. Daring to imagine a successful life without clinging to our feather could be one of the bravest things we ever do.
Without our feather we can still fly!
Posted 1 year ago # -
fawwever
offlineMemberOf all the challenges in life, one of the most painful must be seeing someone you love, love someone else. In the last few weeks, for whatever reason, I’ve received a number of e-mails on the subject. From what I’ve read, the experience seems to be quite agonizing.
But I don’t think it has to be.
There are many types of love. In its purest and strongest form, love is tremendously powerful. I can’t help but think that if you really, truly love someone, then you can’t be anything but happy to see them create the life that they desire – even if that life doesn’t include you.
In other words, if you love someone, you want them to be happy. And that happiness may come in the form of life in which you aren’t a participant.
To me, it seems selfish to want your love reciprocated when the other party has found a more suitable companion.
Does seeing someone you love, love someone else suck? Only if the love was really just about you in the first place. Instead, be happy for that special someone, and be thankful that they found a person and relationship through which to experience this great universe.
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found this inspring
Posted 1 year ago # -
Marie21
offlineMemberMiss You, Miss You, Oops, But I’m Not Getting Back With You: When Your Ex Says They Miss You But You’re Still Broken Up
by NML on January 11, 2011I regularly hear from people who are in the rather uncomfortable and ambiguous position of having an ex that they still love (or think they do), claim that they miss them and/or that they wish they could be together. However these ex’s are not leaving their current partner or are unprepared to address the concerns that lead to the demise of the relationship. In some instances, these ex’s are claiming to miss but are not making any moves or suggestions towards getting back together.
If you’re experiencing this, what is likely to result is you becoming very heavily invested in the idea that this person wants/misses you, it’s just that they have an obstacle beyond yours and their control that is preventing you from being together.
The reality is somewhat altogether different: The obstacle isn’t whatever excuse they’ve given. The obstacle is them.
Someone can miss you but not actually want to get back together. They may think you’re great, claim to be crazy about you, or miss the things that ensured they got their needs met, but they don’t miss you that much. They like their life and even if you don’t ‘get’ it or think it’s ‘wrong’, their situation ‘works’ for them.
Someone can miss you but have enough awareness about their own capabilities to know that nothing would actually change if you were to get back together.
Someone can miss you because they get to avoid dealing with someone or something much closer to home that requires their attention. Dodging being emotionally available and of course being uncommitted through their actions.
Someone can miss you but it may not be for the reasons that you think. It may be for an ego stroke, shag, shoulder to lean on, money or whatever floats their boat. The point is that there is a disparity between your idea of what they miss you for and what they actually miss you for.
People who say they miss you but don’t back up the sentiment with real action are talking hot air and being non-committal. In particular, if this is how they were in the relationship, this ‘I miss you’ BS is just an extension of the all talk and little and no action issue.
The mistake that we often make is assuming that they miss us or that they want to get back together because:
1) They’ve got in touch
2) They’re looking for a shag
3) They’re moaning about their ex
4) They’re looking for an ego stroke
5) They’re poking around in our business
6) They’re not wanting us to move on because they like having us as an option and backup plan
7) They’re asking dumb hypothetical questions about what we would do if they were able to be available (only to swiftly follow it up about how they can’t do anything at the moment but ‘might’ in the future)
Ultimately, what this headwrecking boils down to is this:
If someone misses you that much, they will handle their situation to enable them to be with you. Period. Anything else is talking doo doo.
Think about it logically: Let’s imagine you hear from someone over the course of a few months to a year or even more. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. We were so good together. They don’t get me like you do. I can’t talk to them like I do with you. If only I could be with you. Blah blah blah blah blah.
Here is the question: Why, if you miss me so much, are you ensuring that you stay in a position of missing me but never actually doing anything about it while you continue on with your merry little life or even your merry little relationship, while muggins here, yes that would be me, puts my life on hold on the possibility that you might actually do something about it one day?
If you are not in reality about who you were involved with and the reasons for the breakup and are still looking for validation such as wanting them to crawl back on their proverbial hands and knees and say how crazy they were to leave you to be with someone else or whatever it was, you will be receptive to your ex’s bleating.
What’s not being acknowledged here is that You.Broke.Up! You are a valuable individual entity – the least they can do is miss you but stop giving them the entitlement of enjoying so much access to you.
What’s all the more galling is the chief offenders of this type of behavior are often involved with other people. It doesn’t matter what you think of that person – it’s disrespectful to a current relationship for your ex to creep around telling you they miss you.
For you, the eager beaver listener, keep your ego and your boundaries in check. It may feel like sweet retribution that they ‘appear’ to be coming back and that you seemingly have the upper hand, but you’re still losing.
You need more than an ego stroke and empty promises and they are moving on with their life while using you as an emotional airbag to cushion the transition and a very comfortable fallback position should things ever not work out.
Surely you are worth being more than someone’s emotional airbag and their backup plan?
Put a golden boundary in place: Never allow someone to hang around in your life claiming they miss you while disrespecting another relationship. It doesn’t matter what their reasoning is – what they’ll do to others, they’ll very comfortably do to you. Don’t bother taking the high road of ‘Well they were mine first’ because you open yourself up into petty reasoning. That and unless you fell out the sky into 2011 and they have no prior history before you, someone else could easily come along and have that same attitude.
The more you listen, the more you build sandcastles in the sky, is the greater the illusionary relationship that you end up creating. You end up being suspended in No Man’s Land and basically, you’re not moving on.
Do you know what’s so horrible about this situation? The more airtime you give it, when it all goes tits up and you finally accept that the relationship is over, you will often grieve the loss of the relationship far harder because now you have to factor in the the reality that you have put your life on hold since the breakup and prevented yourself from getting a life. Without them.
And, no matter how annoying and even manipulative your ex’s behavior may be, if you put your life on hold and that includes in the physical day-to-day and the emotional, the buck flatly stops with you.
You have a responsibility to yourself to assess the risk and act in your best interests, even if the reality of something involves making uncomfortable decisions. Yes they should be aware that they’re playing around with your time, energy and emotions, but actually, you should be even more aware of it.
You have always had the option to pay attention, stack up the information, and opt out.
You might say ‘Oh well I was afraid if I didn’t give them attention that they might think I wasn’t interested/wouldn’t leave their partner’ – that’s not a basis for this. If them stepping up to the plate is dependent on you putting your life on hold and not acting with love, care, trust, and respect for yourself, this whole thing is doomed anyway. If they can only leave their partner if they have someone on ice, the relationship is also doomed.
When someone tells you they miss you whether they’re with someone or not and you’re edging into thinking about getting back together with them, slow your roll and say:
You know what? I miss you too but let’s not have this conversation unless you’re prepared to convert that sentiment into action and get back together.
Or the not so polite version: Come back when you’ve got your shit together/are not creeping around behind their back.
And make sure when you miss them, that you miss the reality of them, not the illusion of what you thought they were or what they could become with a bit of twisting, prodding, and projecting.
And asking why they tell you they miss you is like asking ‘How long is a piece of string?’ It’s because they can. We’re not all responsible with words and they don’t always know how to articulate their emotions and desires because many people, and that would include you, assume that feeling out of control and wanting to get back in control equals missing someone. It doesn’t. It means wanting to control things you can’t control.
But I feel the biggest reason is fear of finality which is for them, not having you as an option anymore and for you, not being an option anymore. But remember, don’t sell yourself short. People who genuinely want to be with you don’t resist being with you. They need to stop missing you and be with you, or…jog on.
Happiness is a choice, it is your choice, you have to make it.
Time heals almost everything, give time time....Posted 1 year ago # -
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Posted 1 year ago -
littlemaekela
offlineMemberHelped me deal with the pain a little, hope it helps you guys!
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Unfortunately, you can't will yourself to forget anyone, no matter how much you'd like to. Human beings aren't made that way. Every significant relationship in which we've participated throughout life is indelibly etched in our memory.
Some people you never want to forget: loving parents, family members, friends and those who have helped or taught us valuable lessons along the way. And then, there are the others: those who have caused hurt, feelings of inferiority or hopelessness, those whose influence in our lives has been negative, those whom we wish we'd never met.
In time, they may physically depart, but they'll often pop up, unbidden, into our mind. You wish they were completely, permanently, absolutely gone from your thoughts as well as from your environment. That won't happen but there is a method by which you can relegate them to the very back row of vaults in your memory bank.
On a day when you know you'll be undisturbed for several hours, sit down and write them a letter. Write about every nasty thing they ever did to you and tell how it made you feel. Take your time. As you write, relive the displeasure, the hurt, the disappointments, the frustrations this individual has caused you. Pour out your heart. Don't hold anything back. Then, picture the culprit sitting across from you and read your letter aloud. Imagine his reaction. Will he be decent enough to admit his faults and apologize, or will he bluff his way through, try to blame you, others, or circumstances for his sins, offences and failures?
Then remember that he's gone: you'll never see him again. If you hang on to these negative thoughts and emotions, you're only hurting yourself; he'll never even know. Only a simpleton would continue on a course that would only harm himself. Hasn't this person caused you enough grief?
End your final communication on a note of forgiveness. Send best wishes for the rest of his life and say farewell. Then take the letter and destroy it ... burn it, throw it in a river, put it out in the trash on Garbage Day, cut it into confetti and flush it, do whatever it takes to get it completely and finally out of your life. As it disappears, send your bad feelings for the intended recipient along with it.
This remedy may not work completely right away. Whenever an unwelcome thought pops up, say "You're history! Be gone!" And mean it. The recurrences will become less and less.
Remember, nature abhors a vacuum. Whatever place this person held in your life, try to replace him with a better choice. If he was a spouse or lover, go shopping for a replacement. If he was a boss or co-worker, consider switching departments or jobs. If he was a false friend, try to meet new contacts. The world is full of nice people. It is unnecessary and senseless to waste time and emotional energy on the other kind.
You will never completely erase anyone from your memory, but you can deny them frequent access to your consciousness. In a decade or two, you may choose to rethink the whole matter and see what lessons were to be extracted from the experience. Time does heal all wounds. But for now, "Forgive and forget", should be your motto and the goal toward which you strive.
"The Best Revenge Is Bettering Yourself" - Zacky VengeancePosted 1 year ago # -
SuzyBee
offlineMemberNegative experiences can stop painkillers working
A patient's belief that a drug will not work can become a self fulfilling prophecy, according to researchers.
They showed the benefits of painkillers could be boosted or completely wiped out by manipulating expectations.
The study, published in Science Translational Medicine, also identifies the regions of the brain which are affected.
Experts said this could have important consequences for patient care and for testing new drugs.
Heat was applied to the legs of 22 patients, who were asked to report the level of pain on a scale of one to 100. They were also attached to an intravenous drip so drugs could be administered secretly.
The initial average pain rating was 66. Patients were then given a potent painkiller, remifentanil, without their knowledge and the pain score went down to 55.
They were then told they were being given a painkiller and the score went down to 39.
Then, without changing the dose, the patients were then told the painkiller had been withdrawn and to expect pain, and the score went up to 64.
So even though the patients were being given remifentanil, they were reporting the same level of pain as when they were getting no drugs at all.
Professor Irene Tracey, from Oxford University, told the BBC: "It's phenomenal, it's really cool. It's one of the best analgesics we have and the brain's influence can either vastly increase its effect, or completely remove it."
The study was conducted on healthy people who were subjected to pain for a short period of time. She said people with chronic conditions who had unsuccessfully tried many drugs for many years would have built up a much greater negative experience, which could impact on their future healthcare.
Professor Tracey said: "Doctors need more time for consultation and to investigate the cognitive side of illness, the focus is on physiology not the mind, which can be a real roadblock to treatment."
Brain scans during the experiment also showed which regions of the brain were affected.
The expectation of positive treatment was associated with activity in the cingulo-frontal and subcortical brain areas while the negative expectation led to increased activity in the hippocampus and the medial frontal cortex.
Researchers also say the study raises concerns about clinical trials used to determine the effectiveness of drugs.
George Lewith, professor of health research at the University of Southampton, said: "It's another piece of evidence that we get what we expect in life.
"It completely blows cold randomised clinical trials, which don't take into account expectation."
Posted 1 year ago # -
applepie
offlineMemberNormalising Bad Behaviour in your Relationships
by NML on July 23, 2009
thumbs upHave you ever found yourself blindsided by the confusion of not knowing what the hell you should think about how badly you’ve been treated by a guy?
Well I can bet if you have been involved with a Mr Unavailable or assclown that you’ve felt this way.
Have you found yourself looking back of your relationship and feeling more than a bit galled and bewildered by the type of relationship and behaviour that you have accepted?
I’ll bet you have!
I was speaking with a reader earlier who has been through exactly this – you know it doesn’t feel good. You know what you like and what you don’t like. You know there is something more than a little jacked up about what you have experienced and yet…
The self doubt comes in.
It’s the rationalising, the ignoring, the denying, the ability to see gold where there is rusty copper, the confusion, the listening to the words rather than looking at the actions.
More importantly, you no longer know what is ‘normal’ anymore.
Your normal is what you used to think is screwed up.
You have become very good at normalising bad behaviour.
If you imagine your ‘relationship’ with Mr Unavailable’s and assclowns like this:
Imagine that your capacity to love is at, let’s say 70%. Depending on what flavour of guy you’re messing with out of these two, let’s say his capacity is 20%.
These guys don’t see themselves in the reality because they are distanced from their emotions and distanced from their behaviour – hence why their words rarely match their actions.
Their oversized ego’s, which compensate for the little boy within, have them rationalising their behaviour to themselves and deciding that they’re Mr Wonderful’s.
You know the “It’s not like I cheat/beat/steal/do x,y,z like ‘other’ guys” kind of rubbish… Or “I wouldn’t be this way if you weren’t so needy/thinner/gave me more BJ’s/let me sleep around…” crap…
As a result, they don’t see their 20% as 20% – they see it as 100%.
This is why they big up themselves and think their crumbs should be more than enough to sustain you.
They throw you a crumb but in their eyes, the crumb has become a loaf in the transit.
They’ve given as much as they’re capable of giving, but it’s not up to much, but in their eyes, they think it’s brilliant because they’ve normalised their own bad behaviour.
The key is that you have got to stop thinking that because someone has given all that they can give that it makes it enough, or believing that you can continue to put your bucket down in the emotional blackhole well in the hope that on one of the buckets trips, some extra emotion will come out.
When they first started doing things that you didn’t like, you will have objected, but in eventually accepting their behaviour because you wanted to believe in the best him, the illusion, the guy you think is hidden within, or the relationship that you so desperately want, your expectations got managed down to accommodate them, and you got trained.
You have adapted to the whims and idiosyncrasies each time you have been with these men, so what was abnormal has become totally normal.
This is how you end up becoming distanced from yourself and forgetting who you are, what you need, what you want etc.
This is why it is important to step back, cut contact, have some breathing space, and figure out who the hell you are, what you’re doing, what you want, and where you are going.
You need to separate yourself from your men and re-establish your identity.
You and your Mr Unavailable/assclown are not the same person.
They don’t get to make the rules – you do.
They don’t get to define the boundaries – you do.
They don’t get to decide what you like and don’t like – you do.
More importantly, you have to step back and re-evaluate this relationship thang because trust me, normalising their bad behaviour and moulding, adapting, and accommodating till the cows come home is not working for you.
You don’t get extra brownie points. They don’t love you more, respect you, trust you, or care about you more. In fact, they just use your behaviour as an excuse to continue their behaviour because they believe and know that if you loved yourself more and had boundaries in place, there’s no way in hell you’d continue to give him the time of day.
If you’ve been saying to yourself that you don’t know what’s normal anymore or that you no longer know what a normal relationship looks like, step back, re-evaluate, and start building a you with boundaries and healthier attitudes towards yourself and love.
If you put your feet in reality and think about how these men have behaved, you will recognise that at times they’ve been nothing short of outrageous! You can only truly see this if you don’t have the shadow of their crap looming over you which is why cutting contact, ending the relationship, whatever it is you need to do, in time, will give you objectivity, which in turn will give you the freedom to take care of you.
Posted 1 year ago # -
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Posted 1 year ago -
Xeroplatinum
offlineMemberWhen I read this article from "The Secret" website, I became inspire that we must believe and stay positive on what we want.I hope you guys felt the same way as I did!
True love
By Anonymous
from New ZealandMy partner and I have been together for four years, and we have a beautiful daughter together. We started dating when we were 16. We are high school sweethearts and always knew that we were meant to be. We are not only lovers but we understand each other, and on all levels, and are each others' best friends. It was everything you could ask for in a deeply in love relationship, but unconsciously I started becoming scared and worried that he might get sick of the family life and find someone else and leave me and my daughter. And guess what? It happened!
I was devastated, heartbroken, and didn't want to live anymore. I didn't know what to do. I had no motivation anymore except for my daughter. She was the one I woke up for every morning, but sadly I just felt so alone, unloved, unwanted, and I didn't know how to get myself out of the emotional downfall I was in.
I had heard about The Secret before but never knew there was a DVD. Then I started talking to a couple of my friends about it and that night, one of my other mates and I were talking and he asked if I've heard of "The Secret" and I said, "Yes! Have you read it?" And he said, "I've watched it," and told me that I could get it out of any video store! I was so happy.
Next morning went straight to the store and rented it out. As soon as I watched it I knew! I don't know how or why or what but I just knew deep down that he was gonna come back and that I just needed to believe and trust the universe. So I did. I made a gratitude journal and wrote in it every day. I looked at photos of us and was filled with overwhelming joy, and I just released good feelings out to the universe.
A month later my friend told me that he has been missing me, that no matter how much he tries he can't stop thinking about me, and that he tries to be happy with the girl he left me for, but at the end of the day she’s not me, and that leaving me was the biggest mistake of his life, that he wants our little family back and that he is still in love with me. When I heard that, I was overjoyed and so grateful. I still cry thinking about it.
He has realised he’s made a huge mistake, and that he knows he’s got to gain my trust again and make an effort to prove to me and our daughter. We are now in constant communication… he always spends his free time with our daughter and is always there for me and thanking me for helping him and introducing him to The Power book. We both don't want to rush into anything because feelings are still fragile for me, but we both are still deeply in love and want to have our family back and we both KNOW we will. =)
Thank you so much to Rhonda and the team for sharing The Secret and The Power with the world! It has forever changed my life and outlook towards everything. The world is only scary if you perceive it that way... It IS a HAPPY place!!!
Every one has a problem, it how you deal with it, not run away from itPosted 1 year ago # -
Bluebell
offlineMemberJust a little article I thought may help people understand how to communicate in new relationships with the ex or somebody new. It gave me food for thought anyway.
Many times in relationships we love to blame the other person.
We like to blame them for not loving us the way we want to be loved, or for not making us enough of a priority, or for being too stubborn and on and on.
Then we start giving names to the way we interpret others actions. So instead of saying: "Hey, I'd really appreciate it if you let me figure it out on my own," or "The way I really feel loved is when you (fill in the blank)". When we are lacking, we say: "You're a jerk", or assume that they don't love us.
So instead of expressing how we feel, we blame, judge and then convict the other person of being guilty. Then we project our verdict onto them and wonder why they react negatively and then use that negative reaction as further proof that our verdict was in fact, correct.
Instead of blaming and judging, if we can open up, become vulnerable and EXPRESS our feelings and needs, we give the other person an opportunity to course correct and with this new information.
And, if over time we are expressing our needs and feelings and they aren't being seen, have the courage to pick up our things and leave. That's the Master's path - vulnerability and courage.
It might seem scary, but showing emotion and expressing your needs is how you build intimacy. And having high standards and the courage to maintain them is how you make sure that only the best kind of relationships remains in your life.
It's the mark of a Master to no longer blame the other person, but instead to see the other person as a mirror of his or her own life. It's the mark of a Master to share his or her feelings, rather than blaming someone else for not meeting the needs that were never expressed in the first place. It's the mark of a Master who is strong enough to walk away from a broken and unfulfilled kind of love if his or her needs and emotions aren't being seen. It's the mark of a Master to be able to also meet the needs of their partner.
When you see the current relationships of your life as not a victim, but as a mirror of your own life, you can begin to take empowered action.
So, you say you want love, yes?
Then whatcha gonna do today? Blame them? Or express yourself and set loving boundaries?
Do you want to keep going round in the dramatic circle of blame or do you want to step into the loving flow of vulnerable expression?
The choice is yours. What'll it be?
Posted 1 year ago # -
Suvivor
offlineMemberI thought this article by Mimi Tanner was really interesting since I could relate to it so well. I hope it inspires someone else.
What is Keeping Your Love Life Stuck?
"So," you might be thinking, "If we women can have anything we want...
"Then why don't I have a good, solid relationship with a good, solid man right now?"
Here are some reasons that I hear all the time:
•"There's nothing wrong with being single."
•"Have you seen the kind of guys out there? I'm not picky, but I haven't met one worth my time."
•"Relationships are too much hassle."
•"Guys wouldn't be interested in me."
•"I don't have time to date."When you tell yourself all the reasons that you can't or won't find the man of your dreams, then you literally CREATE that reality for yourself.
That's the danger of "single thinking." It's not that you don't have any luck with men; it's that you make your own luck.
So ... what kind of luck are YOU making for yourself?
If you're not happy with the kind of luck you've been having with relationships - if meeting someone just seems too difficult, too much work, or highly unlikely to happen - then you'll be amazed at the results a little "Thought Therapy" can achieve.
In my program, I'll lead you through the most common pitfalls that you could be committing right now without even knowing it, and I'll give you proactive steps you can take to change your luck with men overnight. It really IS that easy ... if you're willing to give it a try.
» Join the REAL Women Revolution Now!
Foolproof Formula for Effortless Attraction
Too many of us think we have to change something about ourself before we can start confidently putting ourselves out there. We have to be thinner, younger, blonder, have more time, have more money, have less baggage, and so forth.
In fact, if you go by what you read and hear, you'd be forgiven for thinking that the Foolproof Formula for ANY Woman to Succeed with Men is:
1.Lose weight,
2.Get a makeover, and
3.Earn an extra ... oh, say 20,000 a year to spend on clothes, makeup, and going out.Thankfully, that formula is 100% absolutely and completely WRONG.
You don't have to lose weight, you DON'T need a makeover, and you don't have to spend a cent.
The REAL formula for foolproof attraction involves four simple Powerhouse Principles, which I call the Four Pillars. Master them for crazy romantic success!
But, in order to use these principles effectively, you're going to need to start taking a closer look at what's going on INSIDE.
Specifically, what's going on inside your head.
All the Power You Need is Inside You
You may not believe me, but the failure or success of EVERY single interaction you have with a man - every date, every conversation, every random glance - comes down to one thing:
What's going through your head at the time.
Thinking a new thought can instantly produce an effect in the person in front of you and cause them to feel differently about you.
If you can learn to utilize the power of your mind to set men at ease, invite them to approach you, and make them feel warm, fascinated, and crazy about your company, then you won't need baser tools like clothes or makeup to feel confident.
This skill is under-utilized by 90% of women, if not completely off their radar screen.
It's insane that so many women continue to sabotage themselves by letting their minds run wild with all sorts of stressful thoughts. If you don't feel calm, confident, and able to "be yourself" around a man, then a "Mind Makeover" may be just what the doctor ordered.
You'll learn all it takes to feel relaxed, happy and natural, EVEN if a man makes you weak at the knees.
An Urgent Message
You don't have time to waste.
If you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting the SAME results you've been getting.
This means that you are going to continue doing an endless "run around" in your love life until you fix the REAL problem. (Which is NOT your age, weight, income, location, childhood, past relationships, or cup size!
The danger is that you could end up creating a reality you don't want.
If you expect to be single for the rest of your life, then your mental programming will make sure that you stay single as long as possible.
If you think you're too old, overweight or boring to meet anyone new, then those thoughts will make meeting anyone seem impossible.
That's kind of scary.
If you keep "thinking what you're thinking"...
Then you're going to keep going like this for the rest of your life.
Isn't it time to STOP?
Posted 11 months ago # -
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Posted 3 months ago Finding_Myself_Again
offlineMemberInteresting article
LOA- Breaking the cycle of negative attraction
Law of Attraction is based on a very simple concept: Like Attracts Like. Because it operates at the energetic level, its practical application is that the thoughts we think attract other similar thoughts and those thoughts in turn attract events, people and objects that have a matching energy or vibration to our thoughts. This means that when our thoughts are primarily negative, we're attracting to us circumstances and things that we don't want.
Where do our thoughts come from?
Mostly, they come from that little voice inside our head saying things like "I never have enough money!", "Everyone takes advantage of me", "No one really likes me", "I hate my job" and so on. These thoughts are almost unconscious for most of us, we're not deliberately thinking them but they form the background to our lives. And because of the Law of Attraction, the thoughts we think attract other similar thoughts, remember? So this negative, unconscious audio loop in our heads is attracting more and more thoughts like it, more and more negativity, sending us into a downward spiral of attracting things we don't want - and we're not even aware we're doing it!
How do we break the pattern?
What we need to do is a "pattern interrupt"; we need to become aware of these thoughts and deliberately change them to something more positive. However, most of us have lives to live, we can't sit around all day tuning into our thoughts; and even if we could, it would soon drive us crazy! Luckily, we have a simple, inbuilt guidance system that lets us know immediately we have a negative thought.
Our inbuilt guidance system
The guidance system is our emotions. When we feel down or depressed, angry or frustrated, it's because that audio tape is producing negative thoughts and our emotions are alerting us to them. When we feel bad, it's always because of the thoughts we're thinking.
Our emotions warn us of what's going on, but it's left to us to do something about it. Unless we deliberately break the pattern of our negative thoughts, under the Law of Attraction they'll continue to grow. Unfortunately, if we're feeling powerless or angry, it usually takes more than an effort of will to consciously think optimistic and happy thoughts.
Two ways to break the pattern
There are many more than two ways, but these are the ones I use most often, because they're the most effective (and fun). The first I got from one of Tony Robbins' books many years ago and it's something that's impossible to do without laughing. For that reason, you might not want to do this at work or on a crowded train!
If you're sitting down, stand up quickly; without stopping to think, raise both hands above your head, look up and shout as loudly as you can: "Hallelujah! My feet smell!" and then sit down again. I challenge you to stay miserable after that!
My second method is a bit more "work-friendly" and won't have you carted off by men in white coats. It's best done in front of a mirror (or anything reflective, even a computer screen), but it can be done anywhere, anytime. If you have a mirror, look into your own eyes and SMILE. Watch for the smile to reach your eyes - you'll see it happen. Without a mirror, think about smiling with your eyes and then let the smile grow naturally. You'll feel the shift in your body.
Don't stop now
Now you're feeling better, keep going! Think about something, anything or anyone that makes you feel good. Now you're using the power of the Law of Attraction to attract more and more good-feeling thoughts, and you can tell because the balance of your feelings has shifted from negative to positive. Congratulate yourself - it means you're attracting what you want into your life and not what you don't want!
Posted 3 months ago #-
Finding_Myself_Again
offlineMemberWhen things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "Yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things--- God, your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions--- and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter-- your job, your house, and your car.
The sand is everything else--- the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.... If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."Author UNKNOWN
Posted 1 month ago # -
TheSkyisTheLimit
offlineMembervery nice and inspiring text! good way to explain life and whats it all about.
- If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it -
- Don't cry for the one who left you, because the next one may fall for your smile -
- Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option -Posted 1 month ago # -
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Posted 2 weeks ago Finding_Myself_Again
offlineMemberWhy do we suffer so much after a break up?
The usual break up or divorce starts in the same manner: the partner leaves, one way or the other. How the one left behind copes with this experience is determined by 3 main factors:
The nature of the relationship to their partner
The expectation they had of the relationship
Their personality and personal experiencesA break up is a devastating experience for everyone. Whether or not the person left behind will suffer beyond the borders of normality depends on their expectations and experiences. The healing depends on their ability to face these factors. If they can "look into the core", identify their behavior and fix their problems, then the healing will take place and there will be improvement in other areas of their life as well.
A break up discloses mercilessly all our weaknesses and hidden pain we have carried around since childhood. We must seize the chance to uncover and get rid of them once and for all.
A case study of two broken hearts
Case no. 1 - Kevin:
When his wife left him after 3 years of marriage, Kevin was devastated. He called in sick for work and didn't leave the apartment where they used to live for about 6 weeks. He felt as if the very reason for his existence just vanished. He completely lost his center and will for life. All he could think of was the life he had. Although he knew that his marriage was definitely over, he could not stop wishing she would come back. This thought was the very spark of his life and his so called existence.
After 6 weeks, the initial shock was gone and he slowly started to ask himself where he was headed. He felt he was walking on a thin line towards a crossroad: to his left and right was a deep and dark abyss. He knew that he had to choose which road to follow, and this decision would determine his future life.
So he finally walked out of his apartment, met some friends, spoke with them about his fears and the way he felt. He did some research, and with the help of a friend, who is a psychotherapist, he discovered the main source of his problems: a strong lack of self-esteem and self-love.
His life had been happy because his beautiful wife gave meaning and value to his life. His happiness came from outside, rather than from the inside.
Through the coaching of his friend and a disciplined self-study, he not only overcame the divorce, but also remarkably improved his quality of life. Everything seemed to have changed: his relationships with others, his progress at work, his attitude towards women, his life goals.
He had become an entirely new person.
Case no. 2 - Julia:
Like Kevin, Julia was devastated. Her boyfriend left her in a very rude way: he sent her a text-message stating that it was over and that he had found somebody else. Needless to say, Julia suffered exceptionally. She had put all her hope into this relationship and planned on getting married. Her previous relationships had all been disastrous, from cheating to abusive boyfriends.
Unlike Kevin, she didn't lock herself up in her flat. She partied for days, avoiding being alone. After one month of destructive behavior, she refused to talk to anyone about her experience, even not to her best friend she had known since high school.
Unable to be alone, she took drugs and alcohol to bridge over the times when nobody could go out with her.
After 4 months in agony, she met this interesting man who made her feel good. Suddenly her life was back on track again. She fell in love, and they quickly moved in together and lived comparably happy.
Julia was pleased... until the next break up hit her without mercy.
What is the difference between Kevin and Julia?
Was Kevin smarter than Julia? Of course not. Did Julia suffer more than Kevin? No, their pain was comparable.
The difference between them was the ability to identify their weak points and the willingness to make the necessary changes.
Kevin realized the inescapable necessity of taking the right path at the right moment. He was prepared to face the pain and invested time for his healing as opposed to letting himself go and avoid the pain.
Julia chose to jump into a new relationship right away rather than face her problems. She was caught in a vicious cycle.
Of course, Kevin had the luck to find the competent help and certainly, Julia had a bad childhood, but both had a choice.
The choice for a better life.
There are many Julias out there right now with similar cases. I hope they all will realize eventually that in order to change their lives, they have to take their break ups or divorces as opportunities and not as a burden
Posted 2 weeks ago #
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