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Facebook - The Disease
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I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy PolicyPosted 2 years ago pierrej919
offlineMemberOk, after reading multiple NC diaries, there seems to be a common theme among halting alot of progress.....Facebook. The site that is supposed to bring people together is being counterproductive and tearing them apart. So I wanted to create this forum for people to sound off on the site. Personally, I took myself off of facebook soon after things with my ex ended. I found myself going to her page, and it wasn't helping me at all. Now that I've been off, I haven't missed it at all. I figure the only reason I was on it in the first place was b/c of her.
If you must stay on the site, defriend your ex, as it will just tear you down. I know it may be counterintuitive, but that will also cause your ex to become curious about you, as they won't be able to peek in on your life :).
Posted 2 years ago #-
Bear65
offlineMemberi also deleted my ex from facebook as all i kept doing was seeing what they were doing and it became too painful. its a lot easier not knowing. At first i thought id keep him on and make out im having fun, but in the end i just thought it best to remove him and have no distraction from my evolution. I hope you're right about the curiosity aspect!
Posted 2 years ago # -
Mags
offlineMemberIrony....Facebook was his "excuse" to start the breakup as I questioned his status on there.......yeah that place does cause problems. I was so offended when he defriended me....same day that he broke up with me. Now I am glad that he did.......it eliminates the urge for me to look and now he can't look at mine. I was doing some of that fake stuff on mine since there was a distancing from him for a month before the "official Breakup" like the book says.......and I wonder if that is why he defriended me....but it doesn't matter why at this point. I stay on there because I communicate with other people from my classes that way. What I have learned is I don't want people on there that I become involved with. In the beginning I would look at his friends since I could do that to see who was new on there.....what a waste of time and energy.
In a lot of ways technology has taken away the human factor.Posted 2 years ago # -
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Posted 2 years ago -
Heidi
offlineMemberMy ex would never accept me as a friend even when we were together! So I never knew what he was up to,or how he found a 'muse' ~ a friend of a friend on there. I only stumbled on all his loving comments towards her when I was wiping my account and somehow ended up on a page of his I had never been on before.
Personally I wouldn't go out with someone now if they went on facebook more than once a week.. and even then I would want full access... it's far to easy to be shifty on there!!
When did life get so complicated??Posted 2 years ago # -
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Posted 2 years ago chopstiks
offlineMemberlocknload - i can relate!!!!
my ex has blocked me on MSN messenger - HE was the one that was contacting me on it...
all i have is facebook which is where i found out about this floozy at his work who he finally succumbed to. I want to delete him, even though i think de-friending anyone is so childish. But i also dont want to stoop to his level OR act prematurely. We have a long way to go in the event a reconciliation EVER occurs, and Id rather leave it up to him to delete me from his facebook since he already blocked me from MSN. (why he hasnt deleted me is interesting too.... keep me there just incase he gets lonely one day!!???)
Posted 2 years ago #-
j242
offlineMemberIt's for the best to be deleted as far as I'm concerned as facebook stalking is breaking no contact just like going past the house and seeing the ex with another and not knowing who they are. Anyone who hasn't removed them from the social networking sites etc I'd recommend it as when pictures go up status changes it causes that awful jealous curiosity and they may be doing this for your benefit etc.
Stay clear of their facebook pages!
What doesn't kill us....Posted 2 years ago # -
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Posted 2 years ago -
emma111 said:
my ex deleted me on facebook but still talks to me on aim. What does that mean?He's stupid.
Why delete from one place yet chat with you on another?
Either that or he is hiding something...either way who gives a fuck, right?
You're here to follow a plan with proven results...focus on that, and that goes for every member of our forum.
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
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FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 2 years ago # -
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Posted 2 years ago -
sunflower
offlineMemberIf he deleted you on Facebook (as mine either deleted me or took off his account altogether..not sure which) and he's initiating contact on AIM, leave him be. You are in control remember? Make him sweat. Buttery has it right-he is looking like the idiot while you are busy improving yourself and evolving.
Posted 2 years ago # -
emma111
offlineMemberWell, I wasn't thinking clearly and my friend suggested that I ask him why he won't respect me, and then he turned it on me, and said that I don't respect him and give him space. He said I kept prodding. I really should have applied the NC rule before, but I didn't, and it's been a month now of on and off talking as friends and fighting.
Posted 2 years ago # -
emma111 said:
I really should have applied the NC rule before, but I didn't, and it's been a month now of on and off talking as friends and fighting.Well, I hope you're following the free plan, and have properly initiated no contact.
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 2 years ago # -
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Posted 2 years ago emma111
offlineMemberWell, I read your article about the top 3 reasons to delete facebook, and I made a comment, but I wasn't aware that I couldn't delete the post.
can you delete it for me by any chance? I do want opinion and advice, but I also don't want my ex to see what I wrote. He reads a lot online. I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I didn't mention his name or anything, but he is very smart.
So if my ex broke up with me AND delete me on facebook AND when I asked him why he did it, he said because he did some research online and was told he should delete me, what does that mean? What I’m trying to say is I am trying to get him back, but what he is doing is what I should be doing and that is confusing. What he is doing sounds like he wants to get me back, but then he also made it clear that he doesn’t want me back when I asked if we could start over. (I know, wrong move). I don’t really understand what is going on in his head because he still does initiate aim conversations with me, but I haven’t initiated contact and we haven’t been talking for days now.
Posted 2 years ago #-
Hugo
offlineMemberno, no... you just leave him alone for now. Look FB is a hard one and wish it didnt even exsist at the moment in all honesty because it affects the way we think and we end up looking to much into things when really they could be nothing. He is going to do what he wants regardless of what you are thinking and feeling right now so you need to stop investing to much time in what he is thinking and start thinking more about you and your well being. Keep with the plan... change, grow and day by day things will get better and you will get stronger. Live your life, go out with friends, even try to get away for a bit... anything to make your time in NC better!! Get strong and when you get to the point where you can contact your ex again you will have a clear head and following the plan , a 50% chance at getting your ex back if thats what you want! x
Posted 2 years ago # -
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Posted 2 years ago emma111
offlineMemberhey so I was wondering, everyone here seems to be saying that NC works, which I totally agree. However, I have a question on how long of a relationship would it work for? in other words, mine was like very short. would it still work? or should I just move on? I mean either way I have to go out and enjoy my life and forget him for a while, but statistically, short relationships, do people end up going back to each other?
Posted 2 years ago #-
AJAF11
offlineMemberMy girlfriend, sorry ex girlfriedn has changed the photo of us on FB, and also taken our relationship status off the main page, but if you click on her info, it says we are still in a relationship. She even sent me a message to say she was doing so. here is the message:
"so you can probably see i changed my photo. not the easiest thing to do...but i kept telling my self it's not like i can never put a photo of me and you back up. And im not going to delete or untag any photos of my and you. Still can't bring my self to change the relationship status.
not yet sorry. xo" I understand FB is all about what you see, so if people see no me, there there isnt. I just dont get there part about, she tells herself its not as thought she can never put one up, but why if she doesnt want to be together?
Also have thought about changing the relationship status, but am somewhat afraid to, I dont want to upset her, and ruin any chance for the future.
I didnt reply to the message, for NC reasons. Oh and we are at present on the otehr side of the world to each other, she went overseas to study. We had been together for nearly 3 years, and she has been away 8 weeks.Posted 2 years ago # -
AJAF11 said:
Also have thought about changing the relationship status, but am somewhat afraid to, I dont want to upset her, and ruin any chance for the future.So you're going to lie about your relationship status on facebook...that sounds about right...most of the things people post on there is bullshit anyways.
If you expect honesty you must give honesty.
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 2 years ago # -
Todd
offlineMemberAJAF11 said:
"so you can probably see i changed my photo. not the easiest thing to do...but i kept telling my self it's not like i can never put a photo of me and you back up. And im not going to delete or untag any photos of my and you. Still can't bring my self to change the relationship status. not yet sorry. xo"
It sounds to me like she doesn't know whether or not she did the right thing by breaking up with you. NC will probably get her missing you and doubting herself even more.
Can you just "abandon" your facebook page for a while. I don't use FB, but I assume people can tell when you've logged in last. If you don't go there, you don't have to worry about changing your status. That will probably make her wonder even more about what you're doing.
Posted 2 years ago # -
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Posted 2 years ago Todd said:
I don't use FBYou're way better off...I don't use it much either.
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 2 years ago #-
paulette44
offlineMemberI still use facebook,and he is still my friend, but not until here recetly in the last few days did he change his relationship status from being in a relationship to being single, i didnt change mine because i kept trying to get back with him and i thought well if he hasnt changned it then i wont. But after seeing he had changed it, i changed mine and i also changed it on myspace and i took him of my top list and off my page on myspace. I try hard not to look at his fb, i restrain myself from doing it cuz it only hurts me more, that he appears to be doing so great and im te one who is over here being sad.
so i dont know should i delet him as my friend?Posted 2 years ago # -
anna_a
offlineMemberHIDE his posts, if you don't want to delete him. But depending on how often you check / use FB will answer your question about deleting him.
When you send the NC letter, you should probably delete him from facebook. The clearer your path through NC, the better.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Hugo
offlineMemberpaulette44 said:
I still use facebook,and he is still my friend, but not until here recetly in the last few days did he change his relationship status from being in a relationship to being single, i didnt change mine because i kept trying to get back with him and i thought well if he hasnt changned it then i wont. But after seeing he had changed it, i changed mine and i also changed it on myspace and i took him of my top list and off my page on myspace. I try hard not to look at his fb, i restrain myself from doing it cuz it only hurts me more, that he appears to be doing so great and im te one who is over here being sad.
so i dont know should i delet him as my friend?Up to you - i 'm not the best at this one because my ex is still mine. I just try very hard not to go on his page and i hide his posts... its just sometimes other people we both know tag him in a photo ect which i look at because its there.
If your strong enough then do it! I have to many connections at the moment with him and family and weddings ect so its a little harder! x
Posted 2 years ago # -
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Posted 2 years ago -
Katka said:
I block my ex on FB.
Is graet feeling. I can go there without feeling of stalking him.
And I agree, that our ex miss us more, when they does not know anything.Great Job Katka! (Thumbs High)
Stay Strong!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 2 years ago # -
MrEnte
offlineInactiveA few days ago I wrote about my story with facebook.
I was doing really really good without it, and decided to access once every 4/5 days... It was totally useless. There's something evil on it, that it decreases our chances to get our life back!Do whatever it takes, reomve them, block them, suspend it for a while or do not access at all.
No access seems the best solution for me, cause otherwise you have to be careful with the fucking updates or if someone tags you on a picture... After all, as I already said once, we are getting our life back and we should invest the Facebook hours on something much more productive (writting, reading, helping or venting here it's much better).Posted 2 years ago # -
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Posted 2 years ago MrEnte said:
After all, as I already said once, we are getting our life back and we should invest the Facebook hours on something much more productive (writting, reading, helping or venting here it's much better).That's right, this isn't a joke, you're "fighting" for your happiness, and anything that stands in the way, that isn't totally necessary, needs to be kicked to the curb.
Well said ME!
Stay Strong!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 2 years ago #-
justme
offlineMemberAh facebook, facebook..this has been the culprit nowadays. Good, im not an avid fan of it. neither my ex. For for you guys whose been addicted to it, if I may suggest take it down..sure there's benefit for using it otherwise it wouldn't be that popular..but for mending our broken hearts..hmmm I think i wont help at all!
Stay strong everyone!
Posted 2 years ago # -
allee
offlineMemberI was thinking about putting my ex in a LIMITED profile where he can only see my pictures and that's it!!! I have a problem though. I know his FB password... I kinda wanna tell him to change it cuz even if i dont check up on him from my facebook, i can go to his facebook to see what he has been upto.
Knowing his password is such a curse!! But my worry is that if i tell him to change his PW, he will know that i was checking his shit for a while cuz i found out some stuff that i had no other way of knowing and he was surprised when i confronted him about it, but he still has no clue.. so i am thinking of leaving the password change request to him alone. And then I hope that i can control these urges of checking up on him. That hasn't worked so far though.Posted 2 years ago # -
AlysaC
offlineInactiveLuckily my ex isn't on FB - I would die if he was because then he'd be able to see all the stuff I've said about him - lots of whining while we were in break-up mode.
allee, don't say ANYTHING to him.... NC, remember? I know it's hard but you gotta restrain yourself... what if you see something that upsets you? At least if you're not looking, you won't get hurt. And I'd block his profile too - is there a way he can only see your status? Always write something positive on your status, it'll make him wonder why you're so happy after the breakup and already appear to be over it too!
If you really really don't want to block him, put up a new profile pic, where you look totally gorgeous, maybe with a new look... What do other people think?
Posted 2 years ago # -
Rabbit
offlineMemberMy ex got two fb account ~ one more active than the other, he tried to get me not to delete him from the inactive one. But I deleted both of his fb account, I did not want him to see my profit and I cannot see his. He was just being immature in a way. Oh well, we could contact each other over the facebook anymore.
I really affect your personal evolution, you would look at his profit. Once some girls wrote some secret code on his fb, you will felt angry or frustrated. Not good for us!!
Posted 2 years ago #
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