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Daphne's breakup story
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I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy PolicyPosted 4 months ago daphne_555
offlineInactiveHaving only dated several months, I found the person who was needy and seemed sincerely crazy about me withdrawing slightly. I had never been needy. I was the one who had their act together and knew I could live without him. We had so much in common, and I'd never experienced that before. This was what drew me to him more than anything.
But when I asked to go to an event, he wanted to go seperately. I initially suggested that I go with a gf instead since it was a formal event and it would have been embarrassing to show up and or leave alone. He started persisting in seeing me, although I was a bit turned off since he seemed incredibly selfish to expect me to go to the party by myself. Then I made the mistake of texting him and telling him that I was disappointed and felt rejected that he didn't want to take me on the advice of a friend who suggested that he was feeling rejected. I didn't want himto think I didn't want him to go. This act alone pushed him away more than the recommendation that I go without him.
While I was at the party, he texted me that he had a lot going on with work and his father having cancer (possibly) and that he needed time to himself. He mentioned that he was going to visit his family and hoped to talk to me soon. No clarity. No explanation. But he went back online that night and let me know that he was back on the market. I felt like he thought that he could throw a jab like that and that perhaps I'd grovel to try to figure out what went wrong. I think he was feeling incredibly powerful and took me for granted. I've been in his shoes before, and I know how much it hurts your pride when the other person who seems to want you so much just decides to walk away and move on. Even if I didn't want the relationship.
I don't know if he was trying to goad a reaction out of me or not. It was confusing. I had decided to let him go completely. I'm still unsure if i'm doing the right thing, but time will tell. I don't want to turn around 3 months from now and ask myself if I should have simply stayed NC. He very well might have come back on his own. But he would still think things were on his terms and I don't want to go back to that. I won't go back to that. I had previously tried to end it because he had gone back online after we agreed to exclusivity. He was needy and wanted to know why and against my better judgement, we talked about it. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Interesting how he didn't afford me the same ability to communicate.
Ultimately, he did what he did because he took me for granted and he lost attraction. I will never make that mistake again of being needy, even if it's momentary.
If doing this means I get my life back and some respect, I'm on board. Time will tell if I want to reconnect after going through the evolution process. I know what I did wrong. I wasn't assertive about asking for what I wanted. I was negative. I listened to the wrong person. I was afraid of rejection. I'm not afraid anymore. He's not the last man on earth. I am dating others and realizing that. It feels good to feel appreciated. It's fun and it's relaxing me.
I think the biggest worry I have about doing this, is the fear that he'll google the nc email or come on here and discover this. I'm not at all worried about pushing him away further. I've read enough out there to understand the laws of attraction and that if he simly doesn't come back, it's because he was never really attracted enough. And if that's the case, then it's best he not come back.
D
Posted 4 months ago #-
Make a hole, we have another corpse on our hands! 
Now daphne_555's "old" dead relationship needs a proper burial, and a headstone of course!
OK get a shovel and bury the past (baggage), from here on in it's a new day.
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R.I.P.
Here Lies
daphne_555's Old Relationship
Several Months
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This just means your "old" relationship is resting in peace, now it's time to work on giving birth (so to speak) to a stronger, better relationship having learned from the past, and not by living in it.daphne_555 Welcome to our forum!
Now that you have shared your break up story, take the next step...
Make sure you have read and completely understand our forum guidelines BEFORE you post anything else (if you have any questions about them PM me). Because I mean every word I wrote and you will get banned if you refuse to follow them...understand?
YOU MUST BE READY TO FOLLOW THE FREE PLAN EXACTLY, AND SEND THE RECOMMENDED NC MESSAGE WORD FOR WORD.
IF YOU'RE SCARED TO DO THIS AND WANT DEBATE ABOUT IT, YOU WILL BE BANNED FROM OUR FORUM.
THIS FORUM IS NOT FOR DEBATING WHETHER YOU SHOULD OR SHOULD NOT FOLLOW THE FREE PLAN...WHY?
IT WILL DRIVE THE OTHER MEMBERS, AND MYSELF CRAZY, AND BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN PROVEN TO WORK, IF YOU'RE NOT AFRAID TO USE IT CORRECTLY.
P.S. The people who have evolved the fastest, and progressed the most are the people who have been very active in our forum. I suggest once you get your evolution started that you do the same, and experience the same magic they did.
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
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FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 4 months ago #
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