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Choi14's NC Diary
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I will NEVER sell, trade, rent, or give away your information to any third party.
I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy PolicyPosted 1 month ago -
Choi14
offlineMemberHas anyone ever noticed reading Scott's blog posts are really...fun to read? I actually stay up quite a few nights and use my iTouch in bed to read posts over and over again just to understand and grasp the concepts he's talking about.
Not to mention, the writing style is great. lol.
Guys, seriously. Those of you with iTouch's, smartphones, or whatever you wanna use to read those posts before you fall asleep, do it because let me tell you, they are GREAT things to have in your mind before you sleep and also, like I said. It's fun as hell cause you feel so empowered and cool, at least I do. Lol, I probably sound so ditzy or something haha. But that's how happy those posts make me.
Try it out! Tell me how you felt though, okay?
Posted 1 month ago # -
Choi14
offlineMemberWhat if your ex hasn't evolved what so ever, but you have?
Posted 4 weeks ago # -
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Posted 4 weeks ago Choi14 said:
What if your ex hasn't evolved what so ever, but you have?If you have "truly" evolved and have your life back again, you won't care what your ex did or didn't do.
Besides, it serves no purpose to worry about things that are completely out of your control.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 4 weeks ago #-
Choi14
offlineMemberOh! Okay, I see. I was just thinking like if he hadn't, then what did I do then. I would just drop it, that's cool! Easy enough.
Also, how would you even know if they had evolved or not? Like I understand it means they've put it behind them as well, but how would you know they have done so?
Or does it really not matter what THEY'VE done? Ahh, sorry. I've gotten myself kind of confused.
Posted 4 weeks ago # -
willsucceed
offlineMemberChoi14, I think that it takes so much effort and time to evolve ourselves that we can't also be worrying if they have. When we come out the other side, we'll want someone who meets us as we are eye-to-eye, whether it is our ex or not. If we evolve, we may not want them if they haven't evolved. We may be better suited with someone else. If we evolve and they also evolve we may or may not want them because we're no longer compatible or we weren't compatible and we just didn't realize it. Of course, both could have evolved so that we are even more compatible and have a new and stronger relationship. Right now we can only imagine the last scenario because it's hard to think of life without them, but the point is to evolve until we can honestly view the opportunities out there and attract the best mate to our new selves.
We would know if they have evolved because we would begin to connect slowly, just the same as we would in a new relationship. If they show by their actions that they are not what we want to attract in a new relationship with our evolved selves then we will know. However, we won't be blind with the desperation we are feeling now--which is to just get them back whether they are the best thing for us or not. We are blind with need right now and don't have good judgment.
For me, there is the example of "words of affection". I know that it is one of my 5 love languages and was not met by my ex. With anyone new I expect to hear "words of affection"--not some verbose love poems, but words of affirmation in small regular kind of circumstances. If he has not evolved enough to naturally want to say those then we are not compatible. I also require "physical touch", which are small gestures of affection such as a touch on the arm to get my attention, or initiating a scratch on the back--those small regular kinds of touch that you see some couples have. If someone in a new relationship does not provide that once I get to know them then I know my needs will not be fulfilled and I will remain emotionally unfulfilled in that relationship. It takes a long time to get to that comfortable stage to see if someone has these habits with me, but if they do I believe I will be happier than I was before.
I will admit that there are times I just blindly want him back, but there are other times I see that I could be happier with someone else. I need to evolve, and will be patient enough to evolve to the point where I want the best relationship possible. My actions are the most important thing right now as I try to bring my emotions in alignment with my actions. It is not easy to wait for my emotions to catch up.
Posted 4 weeks ago # -
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Posted 4 weeks ago Choi14 said:
Or does it really not matter what THEY'VE done?That is really a dumb question...why?
You are here to get your life back.
Why would it matter what your ex is doing?
If you choose to remain obsessed with your ex, then you are fucking yourself over, and there isn't anything anyone can do about that except for yourself.
That is like a drug addict saying; "what if I am not happier without drugs?"
That is because you have to learn how to live on your own and not be dependent on someone or something...I call it getting your life back, your personal/emotional evolution.
Choi14 said:
Ahh, sorry. I've gotten myself kind of confused.If you lied when you joined, and you are NOT here to get your life back, you will be confused everyday.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 4 weeks ago #-
Choi14
offlineMemberYes, exactly. Thank you.
On another note though, I've forgiven myself for everything, and am starting to forgive him! Which means (For me at least) I'm really close to getting myself back!! YESSSS
To test myself, to make sure I wasn't just BS'ing myself, I thought about all the crap that's gone down, what others have said, this and that, and the entire day I didn't even get angry, not even once.
I'm going to continue testing myself like this and when I feel like "Okay, this is real, not just silly BS my mind is making up" I will start the whole re-connection process.
Posted 4 weeks ago # -
Marie21
offlineMemberWhen your ex wants to stay friends after a break-up it's really a tactic to keep you around in case they change their mind. Some people don't consciously realize they're doing it, but it's human nature to try and hold on to things "just in case."
Happiness is a choice, it is your choice, you have to make it.Posted 2 weeks ago #
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