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Baudelaire's breakup story
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I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy PolicyPosted 5 months ago baudelaire
offlineMemberHello everyone,
I am very glad to have found this forum and I am eager to share my progress while reading about all of yours.
My breakup story is quite complicated, I am going to try my best to simplify it while still covering all the bases. Sorry for typos, I'm typing this quickly and straight from the heart, sort of have to bypass the brain.
My Breakup Story:
I met my ex in 2006 through a mutual friend. I had seen her online social networking profile, and was smitten. She was 17 and I was 19. After I met her, I knew there was something about her. I felt as if she was the one. She declined my advances at first, and we became best friends, this lasted for about a year. After a year of being best friends, we confessed our love for one another and had sex. It was amazing for both of us and she was my first, but I was casually dating another girl. My ex dug up all sorts of dirt on the girl I was dating, and I left her to be with my ex. She fought to make me her boyfriend. A few months into the relationship, her ex boyfriend who she had not yet gotten closure with comes back onto the scene. I give her the space to do what she needs to do, and just request that she be open and honest. She disappears off the face of the earth for a few days, and calls me from a night club very intoxicated asking for help. She is unable to give me any useful info because of the level of intoxication, so all I can do is hope for the best. I happen to catch her the next day driving with him in her car. She downplays the situation and insists that nothing happened. I have a gut feeling and can read the signs, but agree to stay in the relationship and work through it. 2 years go by, and we have our ups and downs like any other relationship. For the most part our bond was strong and we shared amazing life experiences together. We agreed to get married down the line. The whole time, trust for her was never fully restored because of some minor fidelity slip-ups on her part and some other normal relationship drama. I stuck with her because I knew we had years ahead of us to work on things and mature. I cant say that I did not make it hard for her at times, I struggled with a lot of hurt and anger. I was always faithful and supportive though. The last year of our relationship was mostly fine. we were not burning in the flames of passion but we did not hate each other either. Once again, I was patient and looked at it as growing into something better down the line. Niether of us were ready to get married, I understood that we had a long way to go but we would be ok as long as we did not lose sight of the ultimate goal. She reflected this sentiment. In Jan. 2011, I graduated college into a horrible economy, lost my job, car and became deeply depressed. My depression caused me to push her away and I initiated a break at this time. Not a full breakup, but a break so that I could minimize the damage that my depression was causing. I also wanted a fresh start and to restore trust 100%. She was supportive, but it took a toll on both of us. 7 months later, she was preparing to move 5hrs away for grad school, and I proposed that we re-kindle the relationship with a fresh start. She declined, stating that she wanted to make sure that it was not just because she was moving away. I reluctantly agreed and we decided to see each other at the least once a month, start up our sexual relationship again and that we would have skype conversations often. Our goal was to become best friends again before becoming committed. I cried in front of her the day she left, she kept her composure. One month turned into 6. She barely kept in touch with me, Became distant and that hurt me tremendously. I started dating casually and slept with one other girl. Last month she starts contacting me more often, but refuses to talk about the relationship. Her excuse for not working on things with me is that "we are not ok" and she "needs to fix herself". I reveal to her that I had been casually dating, and had casual sex one time. She became very angry and said "I thought we had an understanding?" Then tells me that she wants me to go away. I panic and cling on, we talk for a couple more weeks, sometimes cordial sometimes not. She still wears the jewlery I gave her, still says she loves me, still says she cares about me but insists that I go away. During this time, our birthdays pass (they are 2 days apart) She decides to not visit me or give me a gift stating that "She feels that she would be faking as if she wasnt angry". She goes out with some friends on her birthday and ends up making out with a stranger in a club and then getting his number. I did not get angry at that, just disappointed because that is a poor choice in my opinion. She also reveals that she may have feelings for a fellow grad student, but it is nothing serious, "they just flirt". None of this bothers me too bad, she is single and can do what she wants, I just want to work on things with us. She tells me that she has no desire to sleep with anyone because she has to work on herself and says that I will be the first person she chooses to sleep with when she is ready. Although, before making out with the stranger, she said that she desired no physical contact. Her excuse was that it was her bday and he was hot. A few more days of being clingy go by when finally I decide to save at least some dignity and give her what she wants. I tell her that I am cutting off all contact and am going to focuse 100% on building my adult life into what I want it to be. Her response was "with other girls?" I tell her that dynamic is over and unecessary. Her response is "ugh". I tell her that she can contact me when she feels she wants to and bid her farewell. The last thing she tells me is "Don't forget about me." This makes me very angry, as I wanted a clean break. The only thing I can say in response is "k". A week and a half went by, and i felt insane. I felt as if I was slowly bleeding out. I could not eat or sleep, and still struggle. I found this site, and sent the nc letter last night. I am now eager to see how this whole thing plays out and am happy to have a support group and guidance.
Sigh, so there it is. The last time I'll ever tell the story in full. Sorry for the wall of text.
Posted 5 months ago #-
Make a hole, we have another corpse on our hands! 
Now baudelaire's "old" dead relationship needs a proper burial, and a headstone of course!
OK get a shovel and bury the past (baggage), from here on in it's a new day.
**************************
R.I.P.
Here Lies
baudelaire's Old Relationship
? Years
**************************
This just means your "old" relationship is resting in peace, now it's time to work on giving birth (so to speak) to a stronger, better relationship having learned from the past, and not by living in it.baudelaire Welcome to our forum!
Now that you have shared your break up story, take the next step...
Make sure you have read and completely understand our forum guidelines BEFORE you post anything else (if you have any questions about them PM me). Because I mean every word I wrote and you will get banned if you refuse to follow them...understand?
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FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 5 months ago #
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