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AngeLBeaR's NC
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I will NEVER sell, trade, rent, or give away your information to any third party.
I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy PolicyPosted 4 months ago 25/10/2011 @ 10:43pm.
My day went on just ok. There are things that is 'okay' and there are things that is 'not okay'. Owh well, I guess it's just wanted to test how far I had been and to handle certain situations I guess.
The things that went just fine is I managed to help out my friend taking photos of her guests and they are all nice, friendly people - interview went on just fine. I managed to do 4 hours of brisk walking after that, with rests in between and feeling good. Thankfully the weather is being nice to me today.
In between those, there are certain things that really kind of testing my patience...
1 - a friend called and asked me about the price of the model of laptop I am using now. I told her it's a gift from my ex early this year and gave her the estimated price for it. She sighs and when I asked her what is wrong, she said that her laptop seems to have problems. So I suggested to her to bring the laptop when she comes to the city and have one of our friends (who works in an IT shop) to check it out and fix it if possible. Again, she sighs and saying something about maybe she want to send it to someone else...so, I thought...okay, no problem. It's her laptop, she can send it anywhere she wanted. But then again, she spoke as if she can't decide whether to send to our friend's place or to other technicians and sounds as if unhappy when I told her that the pros and cons if she sent to our friend instead. Still, she sound as if refused to send to our friend's but then again didn't want to send to other technician's. What does she actually wanted, I don't know.
My nicest answer to her is that to have it checked first and then decide what to do next. And yet, she sound as if she's unhappy with my suggestions...gahhh!!!!! 
2 - Went to have late lunch with my friend after her radio show. After eating half of the chicken on my plate, to my horror, I found out my piece of chicken is half cooked!
So, with my most polite smile and tone, I called the waitress and pointed at the chicken, told her what's wrong with it. She took a glance, said 'Oh, okay.' then walked away without saying sorry, giving suggestions to change a new dish or any sort. Took me a good 10 minutes sitting on the chair, waiting and waving at any of the staff to settle this chicken problem. No one came. In the end, I picked up the plate and walked to the counter, show it to the lady boss. The guy boss hid himself in the kitchen. She apologized and asked if I wanted a new one I told her that I'm not (no appetite already) and told her to improve and be very careful next time. Thankfully, she didn't charged me for the food when we asked for the bill.3 - I was attending a meeting with a professor in a University over some coming events and then my phone rang. Saw it was from my aunt who lives with me. I rejected the call (luckily it was on silent mode. I usually just switch off the volume just in case any important text coming in when I am doing something else), and thought that if someone has good common sense - if it's important they will leave a text. No...she kept on calling my phone and I can't possibly answering my phone during a very important meeting especially with the presence of the Minister of Sports in front of me, and it's when we are in the midst of discussing important things (and it's an event with quite a generous fund to grab...If I failed to get it..there goes a big sum of cash just fly out from the window)!!!! Only when I managed to sneak my hands under the table to sent text message, she was actually wanted to ask for the HOUSE KEY because she was sure it's INSIDE her handbag but she felt like DIDN'T FEEL LIKE WANT TO LOOK INTO HER BAG AT THAT MOMENT to search for it! Again, thank god that my brother left the house earlier before I did that morning and he used my house key to lock the door, and keep it in our secret hiding place. After I sent the text message telling her where the key is, no more calls from her.
4 - Was jogging...and then phone rang...non stop text messages asking about work, customer's booking for the weekend, if they had made deposit or not....I was like, 'Heeeelloooo....can they ask if I am at home or in the office right now first? It's 7pm and off from office hours and there I am at the park, obviously I can't possibly to answer at the instant because I am not available online! These are the people who own smartphones where they can just online, check the company emails at the tip of their fingers (I don't own one). I replied back the text 'Kindly please check the email. I am not online right now.'
thinking back...if it happens to me 2-3 months ago, they will surely got a terrible lashing back from me. I would curse, yell...because they ruined my day. funny though, I can be more civilized to these people and calm now.
Anyway, I reached home, feel a little bit down just now. But I am ok now.
Guess that maybe today is just not my day. Nonetheless, I am still being grateful for all the good and bad things happened and it made me discover more about myself that I never knew I could be.
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 4 months ago #-
AngeLBeaR said:
thinking back...if it happens to me 2-3 months ago, they will surely got a terrible lashing back from me. I would curse, yell.My approach to anger is the most apparent change I have noticed in myself since I started learning about the LOA.
I wanted to attract good things, and they are coming even though I mess up from time to time.
I have not manifested the life of my dreams (yet), but I have started evolving into a happier, less prone to fly off the handle sort of person.
That is such a relief because when I would get really upset it caused me pain. I would be off balance for at least a day.
I have come to believe that every bad situation is an opportunity in disguise. Your bad day was an opportunity to show yourself your new found power over anger (negativity).
If that bad day didn't happen you wouldn't have noticed, right?
I recently had the "opportunity" to test myself as well, when I awoke to find my 14 year old son on my PC downloading porn @ 4 am in the morning.
His PC is blocked from all that stuff, but mine is not.
I fell asleep, and forget to lock my PC and he took advantage of that situation...a few times, I later found out.
I was more worried about failing as a father than kicking his ass real good so he would "know better" next time.
I actually talked to him for 2 days about all this, and evolved as a father. I feel like he evolved too.
Bad things suck, but they really do happen for a good reason.
Bad things still hurt, but they aren't really punishment like we all assume they are.
They are really opportunities in disguise.
I can handle bad situations much easier now, and for that I am VERY thankful.
Now to get back to work on the life of my dreams.
Enjoy your evolution AB, and keep up the good work!
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
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FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 4 months ago # -
sanity_fair
offlineMemberHi AB! We've all had those days. The really good thing about it is it only lasts until the next day.
You are doing phenomenal. Seems to me a whole day isn't enough for all the things you do.
Cheering you on!
Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.
Vaclav Havel, Disturbing the PeacePosted 4 months ago # -
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Posted 4 months ago sweetcalendula
offlineMemberAB,
You are in total control on yourself now. It shows that you can really overcome the anger and react tremendously well with it. That's one part of the evolutionary process. Nonetheless, you are doing amazingly great over there.
Hugs!
Posted 4 months ago #-
26/10/2011 @ 1:22pm.
It's public holiday in most states in my country due to the celebration of the Diwali/Deepavali festival, also known as 'Festival of Lights'.
Therefore, I'm wishing everyone in the forum...especially to those who embrace Hinduism "Happy Deepavali!"
May your hearts will be enlightened with love, hope and joy.
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago # -
willsucceed
offlineMemberAngeLBeaR, thanks so much for your wishes to us. We accept your wishes of enlightenment. We hope you had a great day. What did you do while on holiday?
Posted 3 months ago # -
hi willsucceed!
It's been quite a day for me today. I went to the radio station as a guest DJ with my DJ friend for her 'Deepavali Special' (am a no stranger whenever on air with her, cause there are times I served as her 'producer' or sometimes her PA especially when she has a foreigner to come for exclusive interview in her show, so if I happened to be free, am also her 'media person' to take photos as such).
After the show, we went for late lunch together, then off to do little grocery shopping with her and then as soon as I reached home, another friend (whom we haven't been spoken for couple of months due to misunderstanding) called and asked me out to attend an open house dinner at one of her client's.
I guess indulged in good food once in a while, one or two glasses of wine wouldn't hurt.
But am glad that we finally can talk and speak with each other, for she was one of my few closest friends I had and perhaps our stubbornness maybe caused us drifted apart for these few months (I made the first move to wish her Happy Birthday on her Facebook wall last month and I bet she was surprised to received the greeting from me and she replied that she misses me.).
Today I learnt that LOA brings my friendship back. I cannot be more grateful. Thank you so much!Note to myself: Be thankful...every single day for every single thing that comes to you...more good things is now coming to your way!
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago # -
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Posted 3 months ago sanity_fair
offlineMemberHey AB! Knowing about LOA through the break-up is such a blessing. Your being grateful to everything that happens is a powerful reminder to me that the "magnificent return" Rilke wrote about is this gift of living better than ever with LOA as a guide.
Very busy lady! Do you even think about the past anymore? I bet you don't.
Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.
Vaclav Havel, Disturbing the PeacePosted 3 months ago #-
Hi sanity_fair,
Yeah, I am glad that I am not too late to learn about LOA. It really changes my life!
Sometimes, I do think of the past but everytime it started to make me feel sad, I would remind myself that it's all over now and I had let it go. I will say 'thank you for the memories...it was good while it last."
the more i practice it, the more easier the thoughts go as fast as it came. Lately, even the pain goes lesser. Am not sure if this is something called 'healing' but I feel fine, much better and no longer as down as I was couple weeks ago.
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago # -
27/10/2011 @ 6:36pm
A friend of mine gave me a proposal. Not marriage, if that's what you think.
Actually she was asking if I am interest in helping her run an online-based retail business. She got the sources, ready suppliers, I got my time and experiences. This is not the first time she approached me for this purpose. I think she has brought up the subject with me since 2-3 years back?
Haven't really discussed on the payment yet but I guess since now I had time and can fill up my time for something more beneficial rather than thinking of him and being miserable, that is...I am thinking of to go for it...so there will be a further discussion about this in near time. Wish me luck and hope I made the best decision for myself, k!
I'll be outstation to another town tomorrow for a paintball event this weekend. I really can't wait.
I hope everyone doing just fine.
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago # -
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Posted 3 months ago willsucceed
offlineMemberAngeLBeaR, this sounds like a great opportunity--a win-win situation. It will be interesting to see how it develops as you iron out more details. It's good to hear that she's been developing this idea for some time and that you have time to try it, if the conditions are what you need and want. Something new is great to keep your mind busy and off of other things, but especially building something new from the ground up sounds very satisfying.
Posted 3 months ago #-
Katniss
offlineInactiveHey AngelBear,
Just wanted to thank you so much for posting those links to the Louis Hay vids about how to Heal Your Life. I watched all 10 in one sitting and could really relate with the beginning. When I heard the woman muttering all those negative self talk thoughts in the beginning, I thought, "Wow, that sounds like days I've had many times! Oh my gosh! I seriously need to get a grip on my thought life and self talk and CHANGE it, and not be afraid to."
I also love how they talk about changing the word "fear" into "curiosity". I'm no longer afraid of things, I am simply curious about them. This has truly helped me so much this week, and I look forward to watching "The Secret" DVD and listening to "The Power" and "Quantum Cookbook". There is really something to all of these things. I will no longer let negativity (or that of those around me) control my life.
It made me realize too how "negative" my ex-boyfriends on a whole have been. I don't remember very well what it's like to date someone who has a really great outlook on life. What's funny, though, is that these exes always fancied themselves as being very "positive". Uh, nope, sorry, no cigar.
I know this means that I've been too negative myself, so now I'm really looking forward to the types of people I will be attracting into my life from here on out. I already have been talking with one really cute guy from my Global Cinema Studies class. He is always smiling and has the most beautiful, electric blue eyes I've ever seen. He kinda reminds me of the actor, Bradley Cooper, eyes, face, hair, smile.
I like these results and hope to keep 'em coming. Stay strong and positive yourself, and keep investing in these great resources!
Posted 3 months ago # -
Thank you xxglitterfairyxx & willsucceed for your support. I will surely update here if things goes on well as planned.
Dear Katniss,
I am glad that the video helped you. I was the same as the lady in the video too...full of negativity and always being insecure all the time. It's like even though there are good things happening to me, I tend to think "I can't be too happy sometimes, because the unhappy things will come to replace this." sounds crazy and paranoid, right?
'The Secret', 'the power' has helped me in so many ways that I cannot imagine. 'You Can Heal Yourself' added to it even more.
Like you and everyone else here, we all hope that we will reach at the end of this tunnel and embrace the happiness and love that we had been wishing for. Stay strong there.
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago # -
29/10/2011 @ 5:21am.
Woke up since 4am and can't get back to sleep. Now in my hotel room, the tournament will start at 8am. Some people thought that my work, my life is all fun and leisure...I get to sleep in hotels, rest houses, resorts and travel around..whichever the tournament venue will be but at times like this...with no one to ask your well being, wishing you safe journey or call you just to ask how you getting on can be lonely.
I miss my cats at home, especially the kittens. I wonder how they are doing since for now they are in the care of my cousin until I get back. Can't leave them in the house with the big cats as one of them are so jealous that she stalked the kittens and would pounced on them whenever no one is looking. Talking about being a jealous bully. =.=
This place is a quite small town...thinking to drop at the 7-11 but not sure the condition of this city so I wouldn't want to risk myself going out alone at time like this. Maybe will wait a little longer before go down to catch the early morning sun and hunt for breakfast and get back to the hotel waiting for the organiser to pick me up at 7am. I am hungry!
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago # -
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Posted 3 months ago 30/10/2011 @ 10:43pm.
Back in my hotel room. Tournament is great...as usual there are some glitches but it was resolved easily. Weather is hot and I got sunburn...not to mention the extra bruises here and there =)
I miss home.
I feel lonely lately. I am not sure why I felt that way.
Owh well...I guess it's just 'one of those days' again.*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago #-
willsucceed
offlineMemberHi AngeLBeaR, do you find it's a little harder when you travel, even if he didn't usually travel with you? I think that being a hotel room is harder because you can't clearn, fix something to eat or drink and "putz" around. You are correct, that it's one of those days again and your spirits will be good again soon.
Posted 3 months ago # -
hi willsucceed,
Guess that this is one of the things that I still need to adjust I guess. Sometimes the 'unbinding' process can be a little hard and made me feel sad, though most of the days it seems to be just fine.
I can't wait to be home, really.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago # -
31/10/2011 @ 12noon.
Will be checking out from the hotel soon.
anyway, was log in my facebook account this morning and got another news (no wonder I feel restless last night..call it a hunch, instinct whatever that is). Funny to know that things came bit by bit after I am started to heal.
I know that some of you told me before that don't assume or listen to what other people said about my ex. But I still want to say it here anyway.
One of our mutual friends messaged me in Facebook and copy pasted me a message she received from an unknown lady, asking her what is my relationship with my ex. She then explained that they (she and my ex) had been together for a year plus now, which means during the time we are together.
Not sure how she found out about me and my ex, since she is apparently not someone in the paintball community, even the mutual friend also surprised that the lady look for her. She did mentioned about not wanting to lose my ex and so many things.
Won't be lying if I said the news didn't hurt me, even a little bit. It does. But I do feel grateful. I am grateful I get to know this now. I wonder what else that will come and hit me. Part of me asking 'Why did I have to know these?' part of me asking 'Does it really matter anyway?'
I feel bitter? No.
I feel hate? No.I am angry and disappointed. Not to him, but to myself. I neglected myself too much that I let people to hurt me.
I will be fine.
I forgive him, I forgive myself, I set myself free.
2 months into NC now. I think the test gets greater, isn't? True as some people say, time will reveal everything.
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago # -
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Posted 3 months ago willsucceed
offlineMemberAngeLBeaR,
I'm sorry to hear that you had a communication like this. It seems odd to me. Why didn't she ask you directly and how did she know your friend was a friend of yours? Why did your friend forward her message to you? I can't understand how people who see you suffer and watch you build a new life would think that forwarding a message like this would help you.
You are getting your life back. Remember that you don't know how long she truly has had a relationship with your ex and that the timing she mentioned may or may not be the truth. If it is the truth then he is a scoundrel. Why is she not asking your ex if it is true that she has such a long-term relationship with him? Don't you find this all a little odd? Why is she worried about you that she's doing this?
Please tell your "mutual friend" to not let you know anything else about your ex, and especially to not forward messages like this. Really, that is what makes me the most upset. Surely a friend could have more sense than to do that; are they just masochists?
Posted 3 months ago #-
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHi Angelbear,
I am really sorry to hear that. Okay, I really agree with Willsucceed, it doesn't make sense. Obviously, the girl is really insecure and that perhaps she's been stalking for quite some time to find out about you. Well, let's don't assume. Right now, it would really help if you don't get any news regarding your ex.
The most important thing now is that you are really in the right path. Taking NC is the stepping stone, and you've been really at this par. I know the news is unpleasant but things are revealing bit by bit right? And you are getting a better life ahead, and you are in the process of patching yourself up together and be the better version of you. To me personally, NC is indeed a great eye opener because I have lost myself so much before and I am getting myself back, really. I bet all this applies to all of us here.
Congratulations on the 2 months of NC! You can do this!
Hugs.
Posted 3 months ago # -
Thank you for your support ladies.
I guess that time did reveal things bit by bit. I was crying when I packed my things to check out from the hotel to get back home today. I cried because I realised that I am so angry, disappointed at myself for neglecting myself. I feel much better the minute when I reached home.
Odd or not about the 'other lady' behavior is no longer my concern anymore. There is this saying 'they asked because they already know the answer. But they just scared of the truth.' I was in her shoes before (with my other ex) so I know how it feels like, knowing that your instinct was right but still hoping to hear from other resources to tell you that you are wrong.
In a way, I do have something to be grateful for. I am grateful that I can still get up after falling this morning. I never wanted to hear anything about him, but I guess it is for a reason. The thought that I am able to face this up front, instead of running away or denying things amazes me!
I know that as a friend, one should know what to tell or not...but I guess some people do have this good intention that they feel like you should know something about that someone so that you will give up hope totally and move on. The intention is right, but I guess the way of doing it is wrong I think.
I didn't blame her for telling me all this. There is a reason for everything. I accept things as the way it is, because acceptance is the way towards change...and change is what I want from what I had now.
I will get my life back.
My life is coming back to me.*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago # -
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Posted 3 months ago 1/11/2011 @ 8:41am.
Woke up earlier than my alarm clock this morning. Gloomy sky, most likely it's gonna rain.
Anyway, I feel better than yesterday. No dreams, no tossing and turning before sleep last night. Just few words of gratitude...including be thankful that despite with the heavy rain, I reached home safe and sound...it just shift my feelings - made me feel better and I fell asleep almost immediately. Perhaps it is also due to exhaustion of the long journey and tiring weekend I had I think.
Not sure what to do today except work. Thinking of wanted to find a friend who was in the city due to her work, she'll be going back to her state tomorrow. Tweeted her in Twitter but she can't confirmed if she is available for dinner with me.
Had a long report to be submitted to my superior about last weekend's tournament - there are some serious accusations going against a team and organizers...and since I am the ultimate judge there, I was required to report what i see and to clear the air.
i think I need a good body massage. Will make an appointment today after work. *winks*
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago #-
12:01pm. Just returned from a coffee session with my client.
I had lots of reason to be thankful for today. The story goes on like this:
While we had some coffee at the coffee shop near my office, we overheard 2 senior citizens were talking about something from the newspaper headlines.
Apparently, there's a major accident happened in my city - a train collided with a truck carrying petrol. There's an explosion (3 in fact), more than 100 passengers affected. The rail was just few meters away from the highway and it happened at 5:30pm yesterday.
It made me shivered a bit. Why? Because the accident happened at the highway where the bus I boarded yesterday will follow that same route! I thank god that the bus was about almost 40minutes delayed when we started the journey. If the bus goes right on time, we probably already reach the place where the accident happened on that time..and God knows what will happen!
It made me realized that again, it's my 3rd (or is it 4th) near death moments I encountered.
I really have lots of things to be grateful for...and for today and everyday, I am thankful that I am still alive!
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago # -
annabelleloka8
offlineMemberHey AB,
You are on the right path. Yes, be thankful for every little thing in your life every moment, everyday. I do this a lot in a gratitude journal which I carry with me. Praying really helps as well. I find that you are being protected every time by a higher force..through the accidents and also finding out about your ex. You are stronger than you think you are.
take carePosted 3 months ago # -
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Posted 3 months ago 2/11/2011 @ 11:17am.
Just want to share something that I found in my old emails, given by a friend long time ago:
How To Forget
(An article written by Sam Mok)During the first year of my undergrad I took a course on introduction to psychology. The class was so big that it was conducted in a theatre with about 500 seats. I was sitting at the back of it when the lecturer at the end of a lesson gave us a piece of homework. By way of a projector he wrote a number big on the silvery screen behind the rostrum. "My class, here is a number. You have seen it now. What you are going to do is try every means of yours of to forget - forget - this number before you attend this class again next week. So long." I took this challenge seriously. The first thing I thought of is to get my head confuse it with its adjacent number. I picture the dummy number before my eyes, imagining this number was the one put up by the lecturer. But it did not work well, as I was too conscious of my plan, so I adjusted the tactic slightly, to flash the two numbers alternately before my eyes ... 108, 109, 108, 109, 108, 109 ... I never told my classmates my method, nor had I asked theirs. Perhaps I should. The ability to forget is as important as, and more difficult than, the ability to remember; in the same way as we learn subtraction only after we have learnt addition in arithmetic.
After ten years, a similar task is thrust upon me. It was last month, I wished to forget a person. There can be a host of reasons why we would wish to drove a person into oblivion: anguish, hatred, pride, revenge, resignation, or a thirst for new life. In my case I think I am not the fittest to judge what my motives are. In two or three years things which now cloud my eyes like choking smoke in the corridor on fire will be dispelled by wisdom, or something close to it, i.e. self-knowledge, which, or at least the necessity to feign having it, often grows with our age.
A clever scheme I have devised and I did believe it was an ingenious thing absolutely backed by sound psychology. Step one: find a song which describes your mental state perfectly, which really touches your heart and pricks the wound every time you listen to it. This is no difficult step, considering the abundance of love songs in the pop music market. Step two: make the song played repeatedly back to back every morning, every night, in other words every time you think of the person and do allow and force yourself to think of him or her more, more, more and more until saturation - you had better ensure that your stereo has an auto-repeat function for the best therapic effect. Then step three: after 100 or 200 plays, which work as rubbing your wound against a file 100 or 200 strokes, when you cease to sense any pain from that part of you, out of weariness or damage of sensory cells, you can stop the song and lock up the record until the end of your days. My theory was, according to the theory of association, your memory has been associated with the song so much so that your ability to recall this moment and revive your memory is dependent upon you hearing this song.
As you can deduce, it is necessary to choose a not-too-popular song for the whole therapy - or you risk sudden unwelcome off-guard encounters with your old problem sometime somewhere in a bar, a shop, an airport or at a party - and it will be perfect if the melody of the song is not easy to memorise.
Did it work? As there is no way to find out what would have happened if I had not tried, just like we would never know whether we would be happier had we not loved this or that person, the choice is absolutely yours whether it is worth your while. It suffices to add that, I think, that I will do the same if I am to forget a person again.
I can no longer recall whether the number at the psychology class was 108 or 109. It is more a result of the passage of time than the success of my scheme: as I recall that I still could tell the number four or five years after that class. Time has helped me to confuse 108 and 109, but it's the nature's joke on me that I have to remember these two numbers for many more years or may be all my life just because I wanted to forget one of them. I would not be silly enough to say it's my victory over memory, rather I should be humble to confess it's memory's triumph over me in a crooked sense. So I shoved a burglar out the kitchen's window by open-arm welcoming him and his accomplice at the front door.
My last salvation is in Proust. Sometimes I ask myself, as I will never be able to remember and mourn the departure of love as beautifully as Proust has done in those hundreds of pages of sublime highness, is it an act of profanation for me to indulge in mine?
Sam Mok
......................................................................................
hope all of you have a nice day.
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago #-
02/11/2011 @ 11:50pm.
Just returned from quite a long day today.
Finished my work in the morning and then in the afternoon went to meet my friend whom will be going back to her state today. We met for a drink and then went for a nice foot massage. Since the spa that I always went no longer had the masseur that I always booked, I decided to try a new place. A nice elderly woman from Philippines. She is chatty, friendly and sure know what she is doing. Okay, time to change to a new spa then LOL...
Anyway, after that nice foot massage, we went to buy some local souvenirs with my friend and then after sending her off to the airport, met up with my good friend and had another shopping trip with her and then dinner with her dad.
We had a long chat with her dad...he is the conservative chinese father who won't take any BS...but in a way, I respected him cause he is a very experienced businessman.
the first thing that he mentioned when he saw me is..."You had changed quite a lot since the last time I saw you (it was 3-4 years back?). I wouldn't have recognised you if Leah (my friend) didn't tell me that this lady standing in front of me was you!"
He did mentioned that I look much more confident and a lot stronger.
We talked lots of things and he did reminded me of my late father - chatty and funny...today is also All Soul's Day...made me miss my dad a lot more.
and before we parted, he said to me repeatedly 'I really wish you all the happiness and health that you deserve. Don't worry, things will fall into its place when the right time comes.' am i really surprised...cause apart from my good friend, I doubt that she would tell her father about my love life! LOL....
Ah, i got myself a nice fresh water pearl set - necklace, earrings, bracelet at a discounted price. I love it to bits. Ah well...maybe someday I will be able to afford the salt water pearls...which is higher in value..if not mistaken. Owh well...didn't care about it that much. The most important thing is..I love the gift I rewarded to myself and that's what important!
On another note, I posted my recently taken photo in a photography group where all the photographers, especially the experience ones gathered...I posted mine to ask some opinions and comments on how to improve my shots....am so honoured when one of the seniors remarked that for an amateur like me, that particular shot is already qualified to be featured in Malaysian magazines and he said it's beautiful! Seems like my work and effort to improve started to show good results...and I wish to be as good as them someday~~~
Today I learnt that though I feel indifferent about myself, there's always other people who notice the change in me...and I can see the smile on their faces that shows how positive I had become. I am really thankful for today.
I am grateful for having good friends and good people around me that will support me no matter how bad things may seem. Thank you so much.
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago # -
willsucceed
offlineMemberToday I learnt that though I feel indifferent about myself, there's always other people who notice the change in me...and I can see the smile on their faces that shows how positive I had become. I am really thankful for today.
I have the same experience. I am indifferent to the changes in my weight and increase in toning and muscle, but other people really notice. Intellectually I like the changes, but I don't view myself as more attractive because of the changes--I'm not truly enjoying them as I would if they happened when I am normal. I have feelings of indifference to myself as well. I wish I had feelings of indifference to someone else.
Glad to hear you treated yourself and that you've been getting such great feedback about your photography. It sounds like you had a great day!
Posted 3 months ago # -
3/11/2011 @ 3;14pm.
One of my friends 'lured' me out for brunch and then 'kidnapped' me to her house.
Well, here I am...I just got my hair colored...and I love the color to bits! It totally changed my look. also, she gave me a bag full of her clothes that she bought overseas and said 'You really need a wardrobe change'...all the while fussing over me, asking me to try one outfit and another. Every single clothing items is still brand new and I am so surprised!
I feel so blessed.
Good things coming one by one and I am so happy about it!
I know that my life is changing towards better days ahead, and I know that when that day comes, I am already set and ready to embrace it in my arms.
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago # -
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Posted 3 months ago -
4/11/2011 @ 11:35am.
Feeling up and down since yesterday actually. Depends.
When I am with friends, I am fine. I am okay. It changed and made me feel low when I am alone. I am not sure why. Feel...empty and lonely all of the sudden.
Trying to boost up my feelings. Maybe doing a little photo hunt today. We'll see where it goes.
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago # -
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHey AB,
There are days when you will feel so low when you felt like you've been coping up so well all the while. It's normal to feel as such. I had mine as well, but I promise with time you will feel much better. (:
Photo-hunting sounds fun! Have a great weekend!
Hugs. Xx
Posted 3 months ago # -
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Posted 3 months ago 5/11/2011 @ 6:29pm.
Sunny in the morning, raining in the late afternoon till now, strong wind too. I guess the monsoon season has started.
Thinking to visit the Anglican church this evening. Found a nice spot to take photos but I guess with this weather, I had to postponed it and hope that when the weather clears, the place is not messed up due to the current weather. *cross fingers*
Feeling slightly better than yesterday, other than that, I am doing just fine.
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago #-
willsucceed
offlineMemberAngeLBeaR, perhaps you'll find a scene with some muddy footprints that makes an interesting story. Glad to hear that you feel slightly better than yesterday. Won't it be great when we reach the other side and get off this roller-coaster? I've never been interested in riding the real thing for a number of years, but after this experience I think I'm happy to never ride in one again!
Posted 3 months ago # -
Thanks for the great idea willsucceed!
Yeah, I hope that someday, I'll get off from this roller coaster ride.
6/11/2011 @ 9am. Woke up as early as 7am. Feeling fine.
It's another celebration for the Muslims today - Eid-Adha or also known as Qurban. More reason to feast (though I am not a Muslim, but living in Malaysia - we celebrated every occasion there is!). Speaking about feasting, a friend sent me a message in Facebook inviting me and my team to his house to celebrate..and he said to come this morning while the meal is still hot and his mother has prepared some food specially for me!
Owh well...time to get ready. Feasting starts at 10am! Hope you all have a nice Sunday!
Note: For those who wanted to understand what is the celebration about check these links -
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2006/12/28/central/16418542&sec=central
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hari_Raya_Haji*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago # -
10:37pm.
Strong wind and heavy rain again.
After the nice meal at my friend's place, went home to rest when less than an hour later another friend came to my place without any warning and asked me to get ready...to company her to do a 'little' shopping.
I managed to get myself a nice pink wide hat for a very low price and can't wait the weather turn sunny again so I may put it to use!
After the shopping trip, we went back to her house to drop the stuff she brought and rest for a while, then went out for a nice steamboat buffet dinner with 2 of her sisters.
When we arrived, the place is full! We are kinda disappointed but since we wanted to try out this place (this is our first visit) but we decided to wait anyway. thankfully, after waiting patiently for almost half an hour, one of the tables were cleared. Barely few minutes after we took our seats, we saw the other customers who sat at the open air table scrambled and carrying their plates and chairs to the roofed part of the restaurant because it started to rain suddenly!
Good things does happen for those who waited.
The meal is okay. But it's the company of a good friend is what makes it better.
I am really thankful for all the good things I received today - good meal, good friends, even the rain.
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 3 months ago #
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