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AngeLBeaR's NC
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I will NEVER sell, trade, rent, or give away your information to any third party.
I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy PolicyPosted 5 months ago Hi sweetcalendula,
I still listen to love/sad songs once in a while...only will switch my playlist if it started to make me feel down LOL...yes...putting lots of happy, joyful songs in the playlist helps.
Ngee..thanks for the compliment =p
you have a nice day too! *hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago #-
jasmine
offlineInactiveHi AB,
you know you are just awesomest person and you are doing so well
I love to see you like that..keep up the good work
And you know I am so happy to see you in your new haircut..you look sooooooooooo different and of course hot
just loved it 
and also you look so funny while Florence is working on your hair 
seems you were in some deep thoughts anyways you look so fresh and cute 
Take care,
JasminePosted 5 months ago # -
Hi Jasmines,
thanks! you are awesome yourself too! When I first came here I was in total mess, broken into pieces and thankfully I found this site and I get to know you and other friends here. Scott is being supportive too!
This forum made me realised that I wasn't alone in dealing with my heartbreak. and I got lots of supporters.
Ahahaha...that photo with Florence working on my hair? I was scared actually, because it's been years since I cut my hair that short (10 years+?). I was thinking if I can always change my mind before she started snipping it, if it wasn't for my best friend who sit there and warned me not to run away or she'll chain me on the chair if she had to, I would really still be having my long hair till now. But the results..I am glad that I did. and glad that all of you like it too!
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
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Posted 5 months ago -
owh gosh Jasmine...I am your source of 'good feelings' now? *blush*
anyway, glad to know that you are doing fine. Together we will get thru this!
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
11.55am - 23/09/2011.
It's been raining for few days now and I was forced to stay indoors.
anyway, things had been doing great. I received little blessings (in forms of small sums of cash) for the past 2 days and couldn't be happier. A guy friend invited me to do some night street photography but on last minute, he couldn't make it due to work. I don't feel like going out when it's raining either. Don't get too excited yet, girls...he is just someone I coached in a paintball referee course 2 years ago and he is also into photography, and kind enough to share his knowledge about photography...saves me MYR700 (about 220USD) from attending a real photography course, LOL!
Weather seems clear today. Which I hope so...cause I miss going for my walk. Most importantly, I can now wake up feeling great, ready to start the day. Sleep well and still had dreams (but can't remember what it is, not important anyway).
It's amazing when practicing LOA, it had slowly changed me from someone that I used to be, into someone better. The more I think positively, the more I feel great and happy, no matter how bad the day seems going to be. I started to see people in a different angle too, especially those that I don't like. (LOL).
Hope all of you there too, are on your way towards recovery. *hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
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Posted 5 months ago Hi everyone,
I was browsing in Youtube just now and found this one interesting song. Check out this link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlPjnEXjgas
The song is entitled 'Thank You For The Broken Heart'
I don't know why, but this song made me feel relieved when listening to it. Things happened for a reason and when things happened, accept it, move on and learn something good that came from it.
Hugs.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago #-
Good morning world! (24/09/2011 - 8:10am here)
Woke up as early as 5am, my friend picked me up at 5:30am for some early morning workout at the park. It was quiet and peaceful and then we spotted one group of senior citizens doing their daily exercise in group, and hesitantly joining them. Once their finished, we continue with our walk and found another group of senior citizens doing this exercise called 'Taichi', a type of chinese martial art. It is harder than it looks, but I am fascinated by its graceful movement.
I learnt by doing simple exercise with each movement to focus on things that make me happy, and when I breathe in the fresh air, I would think of all happy thoughts and believe that all good things will come to me. And when I breathe out, I would imagine it was all the bad feelings, my problems and burdens released from me. It turn out to be great!
I was feeling unwell when I went to bed last night. Had sore throat and slight fever, almost wanted to stay in bed this morning but I refused to let the sickness held me back, and I am glad that I did woke up and go for the morning workout. As me and my friend did our brisk walking at the park, we saw an elderly man walking alone, and apparently he is semi-paralyzed (could be suffering from stroke) and he continues to walk slowly, without any aid from anyone or even using a cane or anything. I am in awe when I saw him, for he determined to do things that he is still able to do as best as he could. I learnt that no matter how hard things may be, if we put ourselves to work for it, we can succeed. That elderly man taught me something today - Don't give up.
It's a great Saturday to start with. I hope it's the same for you all out there too!
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
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Posted 5 months ago -
Well....it's 2:31am (26/9/2011). Will be off to bed soon.
Anyway, the whole day is ok. It was raining heavily in the morning - so no stalking the senior citizens at the nearby park for early morning Taichi sessions =p
seriously from the first time I joined, I noticed that Taichi is a good time to learn to clear your mind and good way to learn to look into yourself. Each graceful movements is a workout, but you need to do it slowly, and one without patience would find these routines boring. I once had the same thoughts about Taichi too, and had always believed that it was the 'old people's workout'...it was until I joined them that I began to see Taichi in a different way.
- (start sign up for martial art classes, everyone!) =pThankfully the rained stopped at about 11am..by 1pm I already left the house to the paintball field, meeting the team, had a chat and 2pm I am off for an hour brisk walking at the sports complex (and peeked the guys at the rugby field where there's a rugby tournament was held LOL). Returned back to the paintball field, had few rounds of paintball game. It was already 6pm+ when my friend called me to ask me to join her for evening jog at another park. So we did. 2 1/2 hours brisk walk/jog at the park by the beach, had dinner and reached home at about 11pm.
Gosh..I need to lessen my workout this week, to avoid any possible injuries before the tournament. Our local state-level paintball tournament will be held on 2-3 oct, so being one of the organizing committee members, it's going to be a busy week and a long, tiring weekend.
Sometimes I feel 'down' in between the times, but I brushed it off, to turn my bad feelings into good ones. I guess I am still not over the emotional roller coaster but I will not let it ruin my day like it used to before I am into NC.
Owh well...off to bed now. *hugs*
Note: I hope I am in the right track...and will stay at the right track to get my life back.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
AngeLBeaR said:
I noticed that Taichi is a good time to learn to clear your mind and good way to learn to look into yourself. Each graceful movements is a workout, but you need to do it slowly, and one without patience would find these routines boring.It is funny you mention Tai Chi. I have always wanted to learn it, but I didn't have the patience.
I rented books and DVD's but I couldn't get into it...but I still want to learn.
I am going to find a place to get lessons in the near future, or maybe I will try to teach myself again.
If you find any good books, or DVD's on learning Tai Chi let me know, OK?
Stay Strong and Positive!
PS - Tai Chi is not really an old person's exercise. If you ever saw the movie "Road House" with Patrick Swayze, he was actually doing Tai Chi in the movie. I think that is where I first became aware of it. He kicked some serious ass in that movie.
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
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FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 5 months ago # -
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberLol! SW, seriously, Tai Chi is usually done by the old community here in our country. Pretty rare for the younger ones to do it, I sometimes wonder why too. AB, we can be one of the younger generations. Its movements are indeed very graceful and releasing. Perhaps I should try it out too!
Way to go AB!
xx
Posted 4 months ago # -
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Posted 4 months ago Jetlag
offlineInactiveHey AB.
You've been inspiring me with your positive attitude and gratitude. Speaking of disable people, I remember watching the following video :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc4HGQHgeFE
It moves me. I havent bought his book yet. Its everywhere in bookstores. Hopefully soon. Cant wait to share
Stay positive!
Posted 4 months ago #-
Dear Scott,
Tai Chi is done by senior citizens in my country. It's very rare to find youths or younger people getting into this exercise. They normally gathered in groups in a park during early mornings. I think the reason why they prefer doing Tai Chi in the park it's because you can breathe, and 'unite' your body and soul with the nature. Sure, if I found any interesting materials about Tai Chi, will let you know ok
Sweetcalandula,
You should try it too. You'll going to love it!
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 4 months ago # -
Dear jetlag,
thank you for sharing the video. It really moves me when a friend gave the link to me sometimes back.
He has a very positive attitude despite with what he lacks...but he is rich - with love, positivity and he brings joy to everyone around him.
If he can do it, why can't we? *hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 4 months ago # -
hi everyone!
Just want to share this quote I found:
Pain nourishes courage.
You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you.*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 4 months ago # -
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Posted 4 months ago -
Hi everyone,
I'm sure some of you are wondering why I just posted a quote and nothing else. Things had been not so okay with me for the past 2 days actually.
Our office was broken into during a thunderstorm + blackout, we lost quite some valuable paintball equipments and some other stuff...and tournament is just this weekend
. Total loss is estimated about MYR15,000 (about 5000USD) 
When we got the news..I don't know, it seems hard to put positivity into the things happened, let alone to be 'grateful'. Took few deep breaths before visiting the office, and telling myself that things will be okay...at least can sort out things with a clear head than clouded with emotions - police report, get someone to repair the door and lock and many more.
However, all of the sudden, the thoughts of my ex came into my mind and it really hit me hard, suddenly. I felt confused, hurt and so many more sad, unhappy emotions that just hit me all at once. I feel small, in pain and was crying my heart out. No matter how much I tried to think, put positivity in it, it just won't help.
The word 'I am grateful...' has became a chant the whole night. I don't remember how long I curled myself on the bed and was crying as I am saying it, but I guess I kept on saying it until I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning, feeling a little lighter than the night before. I managed to get thru my day working, getting things done and make do whatever we can for this weekend's tournament here.
As for my 'crushing' feelings, I had a chat with sweetcalendula last night. i'm grateful that I had a friend to chat with me. Hours before chatting with her, my best friend called and told me that she's in town and asking me to go out for dinner with her. she told me that she felt like wanted to call me...and deep inside, I am thankful that even during the times where I am in my bad feelings and all, there's someone reaching out to tell me that I am not alone.
and the quote I posted previously, is something what I just learnt. we can't possibly be having good feelings all the time, but it's how we handle when bad feelings came that is important.
note to myself: be stronger. there's lots of people out there still cares.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 4 months ago # -
break222
offlineMemberHey AngelBear,
I'm sorry for that loss. Sometimes those things happen and it is tough to be positive, but know that this wasn't for nothing. We can't know why things happened, but when we take two or three steps back we can see the whole picture clearer. I'm not sure where I read it but everytime I think something bad happened to me I remind myself of that quote. It goes something like:
"Nothing "bad" ever happens to you. The "bad" things that happen in your life are the best learning experiences because you can't learn from success. "Bad" things are feedbacks so that you get another insight or view on something."
Try to smile at it as hard at it is, because it doesn't mean the end. I know it might be really hard to take in, but be grateful that nobody is hurt from that robbery.
--------------------------------------------
"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you."Posted 4 months ago # -
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Posted 4 months ago sweetcalendula
offlineMemberDearest AB,
So sorry to hear about the break-in. Like Break222 said things do happened for an unknown reason which only time could tell, and I am relieved to hear that no one is hurt or injured by that incident.
To harness positivity 24/7 is indeed not an easy task. I've heard of this quote somewhere,
"Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there, because you cant remember a time in you life when it wasnt. But then one day you feel something else. Something that feels wrong only because its so unfamiliar, and in that moment you realize you're happy."
I am very glad to be the one you could turn to, just one step at a time, and when you look back at those days, you will realise how much strengths you have within.
Take care, hugs.
Stay strong there.Posted 4 months ago #-
jasmine
offlineInactiveHey AB,
I am really sorry to hear all that but I know you have become so strong by being grateful to everything you have
You are such an amazing person I have ever seen in ages and I know everything will fall into place soon so chin up and keep moving
*hugs*Take care,
jasminePosted 4 months ago # -
thank you everyone.
I am now focusing on the tournament here for this weekend.
I feel better. Just like sweetcalendula told me to take baby steps at one time, that's what I am doing.Sometimes, progressing too fast (and I am surprised too) is kinda scary, no? I had this imagination like, I ran over the speed traps and get tickets from it! LOL...
Thank you for your endless support and encouragement. *hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 4 months ago # -
AngeLBeaR said:
When we got the news..I don't know, it seems hard to put positivity into the things happened, let alone to be 'grateful'.It is not about being grateful for what happened to you.
That sucked!
What you need to be grateful for is everything you still have.
With that much money invested in your equipment I suggest you get some insurance before replacing it.
The world is full of assholes, but we can't let them steal our happiness. They can take our possessions, but they can't take our souls.
We have to surrender them.
You are strong AB.
You will not only pull through, but you will become stronger because of this.
Look for the bright side to all this, because one does exist. But you will miss it if you're not looking.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
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Posted 4 months ago Thank you so much Scott.
I came across to a quote while browsing around just now:
If you can't be thankful for what you receive, be thankful for what you escape.
thank you for the confidence in me, Scott. I am doing my best not to let all of you down, and most importantly, not to let myself down.
Had to admit that I am still in my emotional roller coaster from time to time, but I believe that slowly, I will be able to let all of these go, and I hope I will become someone I used to be, and better.
I want to be beautiful, confident and stronger person that people will feel the positive vibes that I am giving wherever I go.
Note to myself: take it one step at a time. Slowly.
*hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 4 months ago #-
vandy2159
offlineMemberAngelbear I know it seems rough now but reading your last couple post it seems to be you are doing awesome given the scenario. Don't worry about letting anyone down...if you do what you need and want for you there is no way you can lat anyone down because you will be evoloving into that awesome beautiful person you want to be! Keep up the good work!
Posted 4 months ago # -
Pixie
offlineMemberHey Angelbear!
Being positive all the time is hard and it really does take small steps, i can feel positive all day but then feel like i am back to square one but i think if we take our time slowly we will feel positive for longer periods of time and without even trying or realising we will focus less on the negatives.
Altho the break in at your office was a negative it is a postive that you have all stayed strong & that despite it you are all going to continue in the tournament, you could have let this stop you all but you are all staying strong (& positive) by continuing so there is the positive side of it and it may not seem like it but you havent let it defeat you!
Posted 4 months ago # -
willsucceed
offlineMemberYes, one step at a time. In fact, it is sometimes on minute at a time during the day. I can't wait to finish teaching my class today and then go for a run or ride my bike to get this jitteryness out. I feel like Friday's are the the most challenging for me. Fortunately the subject today is one of the more interesting to me and the class (omega-3 fats) and so actual class will go well. I find that teaching this class takes so much concentration that I can forget everything during that time, but that means that when it ends, the realization comes back in full force and I feel all the worse. The good thing is that I know that now so I plan for exercise right after class--especially on Fridays.
Posted 4 months ago # -
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Posted 4 months ago How time flies. I just realised that I am already 1 month into NC. Part of the reason why I didn't bother to post how many days that I had been...counting will make it much more harder to get by.
I had a great, tiring but fun weekend last weekend (today is monday 03/10/2011).
Despite with the robbery that happened days before our tournament day, and some minor things happened during tournaments and also the rain in the evenings, the paintball tournament goes well as we're blessed with sun and hot weather during the day, which is what we really needed. Less or almost no arguments/disputes during the game, even the team that always gives lots of problems in the game also became so well mannered!
My best friend, who's also our official photographer came on Saturday to cover for the game and she decided to book the hotel in the city area so it's easier to go to the tournament venue, she invited to share the room with me. Night time we explore the city by foot, something we haven't done for years, had some good food and went karaoke.
Sunday came, the game resume back in the morning till 4pm. Despite with the bruises, slight injuries, mud, dirt and all, it was all worth it.
Anyway, as the evening draws near, I was sitting at a quiet corner of our field, watching the sunset while waiting for our crew finishing to clean up the place, I whispered "thank you". There are less tension/pressure than the previous tournaments we held months back.
The thoughts of my ex is still there. Especially during tournaments like this, he usually will text or call me before the game starts to wish me luck and that he believed that I can do my job well. I never believed at him, and always thought I won't be able to become a good head referee or carry my job well, because every tournament here I always had at least one or two negative feedbacks from players (the losing team, obviously) - and when it happened, I will usually sink in and complained to my ex, and being angry, bitter and I feel more insecure when it happens. But yesterday, when I looked back, it reminded me one of his text messages that I had deleted from my phone not so long ago...that he did mentioned 'I didn't want you to have the negative vibe around you..."
I guess, my message of thanks somehow it's for him as well. Though he didn't hear it, I wish someday I can say that to him personally.
I had to admit that I kinda miss him during this moment...and before sleep, I imagined of telling him all the good things that happened to me during the tournament weekend, to thank him and all...and share the happiness with him. I give and feel love when I think of him and things I imagined.
(I was wondering how does the tournament on his side went as well...as the same week our tournament here in my state, there's another tournament in his state where he is also a player, photographer and one of the key person of the organizing committee. But came to think about it, it wasn't that important to know now.)
It's really been a journey with lots of ups and downs that challenges me emotionally. But guess that I am still here means I am going towards the right track (I hope). I am slowly building up my self confidence. Proud that my daily walks showed it's results - when most paintball players remarked that I lose weight (since they noticed it, must be a big difference since they last saw me), they like my hair! LOL (sounds vain, am I?)
Thank you everyone for your continuous support. I couldn't made it this far without you all. *hugs*
Note to myself: The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 4 months ago #-
willsucceed
offlineMemberAngelBeaR, wow you are really thinking things through and bringing joy to your life. You sound like you've made a significant change in your perspective of the world. You are so true with your last note to self. I'm glad your tournament went so well. It's really challenging (in a good way) to be in charge of something, and I'm glad your best friend was with you. After being the leader of an event, it makes one really think long and hard about complaining at events that others lead. I found I came to distinguish better between real problems and smaller problems as a participant. Glad to hear your daily exercise is paying off and that your haircut looks great. You don't sound vain--it's nice to have your evolution noticed from the outside, as well as internally.
Posted 4 months ago # -
AngeLBeaR said:
How time flies. I just realised that I am already 1 month into NC.Congratulations AB!
Keep up the good work!
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 4 months ago # -
Tuesday 04/10/2011 @ 12:49pm.
A sunny day today. Still feeling a little bit tired from last weekend's event. Somemore, last night had been a fun night, went out for dinner with my brother's team which I managed - joking around, laughing and had a lots of sushi! (it's on promotion anyway, where the member of the sushi outlet is entitled with only RM2 (0.60USD) each!) So...one lady and 6 guys..heaped the table with at least 50 empty sushi plates! We sit there for hours, till it's near closing hours. Afterwards, we continued on at a local bistro for drinks and talk somemore for another hour or two before calling it a night.
Hopefully it won't be raining this evening. I need to resume back my daily walks. No reason to stop for some lame reasons. I wish to hunt for a new mp3 player soon. My current ones is at my ex's place where I left it the last time I went visiting him some time ago. I know some of you might adviced me to contact him to just courier the item to me, but since it wasn't that important anyway, I am willing to get a new one rather than had any contact with him at this moment, because I am still unsure what or how I would react if I am contacting with him now, for whatever reason that is.
No, he hasn't sent me any messages or anything, which makes things easier a little for me. But a friend of mine told me that he found out about the robbery in our office and helped out to post the sticky notes to the forum pages where he was the moderator.
(Note: the paintball community is very small in our country, news spreads fast and things like this will spread like wild fire in merely minutes via social networks from one to another, it's because paintball is a sport that is still in debate in the country I lived in - that is still unsolved between the Sports Ministry and the Defense Ministry since it started almost 20 years ago. So every paintball player knew that it was their responsibility to help each other whenever they could to keep the sport safe and to watch out each other's backs to protect this sport as 'safe' to the public.).
My best friend told me that she noticed I no longer being 'too emotional' like I used to. I hope I will keep it that way, and will evolved to be someone better than I was yesterday.
I am thankful for the greatest gift that everyone had given me including you all here - a gift of friendship. This is the most valuable thing that I had. *hugs*
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 4 months ago # -
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Posted 4 months ago sweetcalendula
offlineMemberCongrats AB for the one month of NC., and for the new better version of you! I totally understand that feeling when you said you're unsure of how you'll react if you meet him. I am in the same shoes as well. Well I guess when the right time comes, you will know what to do.
Btw, I highly suggest that you purchase a new mp3!
Take care there! xx
Posted 4 months ago #-
Hi sweetcalendula,
thanks for the encouragement. I will certainly look for a new player - I won't be going the trouble to contact him just for some petty little things.
................................................................................
Anyway, I just came back from my daily brisk walking routine not so long ago. While I was walking and trying to empty my mind, a thought suddenly came to me, "So, now that you in NC..what's next?" =(
It made me feel lost and empty...and I was somewhat a little confused.
Dear Scott (or anyone experienced this),
Is it normal to feel this way?God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 4 months ago # -
AngeLBeaR said:
While I was walking and trying to empty my mind, a thought suddenly came to me, "So, now that you in NC..what's next?" =(It made me feel lost and empty...and I was somewhat a little confused.
I know exactly what you mean AB.
This happens to me from time to time about all the big plans I have for my business, and personal life.
I will go to bed feeling like I have it ALL figured out only to wake up the next morning feeling like none of this is going to work.
Why?
I don't know.
I have thought about this for a while and came to the conclusion that my subconscious is still cleaning out the "left-over" negative thoughts/beliefs in my mind.
Because they hide in the subconscious you are not aware that they are there. The reason it happens overnight is because when your conscious mind sleeps, your subconscious mind is awake.
Here's the good news!
Every time you face these feelings and do not let them push you back, you are closer to being free of them for good.
This is like the universe testing you/me/us to see how serious we really are before granting our wish.
I have these lost feelings sometimes about running this forum and my Blog.
I never set out to do all this, it just sort of happened to me.
I couldn't turn (all) the people away that asked for advice, and yet I wonder if I am doing more harm than good?
The only way to find out is to keep on doing it and see what happens.
I was waiting for that first success story for quite a while.
I was wondering if what I thought about the free plan was really going to work or not.
I truly felt/believed that it would.
I wondered if I was making people's lives better or worse.
It is all about risk.
You have to be brave enough to fail if you ever want to succeed.
I finally decided (after much self debate) that the people who ask me for help are far better off with my help, than without it.
Unfortunately...This plan will not work for everyone.
Why? Because it depends a lot on the person's courage and willingness to stick to the plan, and that is out of my hands.
But, instead of focusing on the people I ban or reject from our forum, I will focus on the people who get "approved" and fight everyday to get their lives back again.
Life is about balance.
You have to learn to take the good days with the bad.
The best way to face these inevitable "bad days" is with gratitude.
When things look bad, focus on all the things you have, and truly feel grateful for them.
Name them out loud and say thank you for each one.
I truly believe that we can never get the things we desire if we are not grateful for the things we already have.
I know it sounds easy, and I don't always do it myself.
But, believe me I wish I had.
That is why I recommend everyone use this method to ward off the "bad days" of emptiness, doubt, and fear.
I hope this helped.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 4 months ago # -
willsucceed
offlineMemberSW, reading this helped me tremendously. Let me share that one of reasons I came up with a list of the things I was going to start doing in my early posts on this forum was motivated because I knew that I couldn't only talk about my ex. I didn't want to get chastised. It was significant to have to come up with the list and to write it down and share it, because then I was committed. What I now realize is that I was committing to the beginning steps getting my life back, where at the time I was just committing to following the rules of the forum.
Posted 4 months ago # -
Thank you Scott. it really helped me to see things and how to handle it when it hits me again.
05/10/2011 @ 915am here. I am feeling a little better than yesterday. Woke up with slight fever, but I will be ok. My neighbor gave us a box containing 4 kittens (could be less than 3 months old, scrawny, sickly and dirty) she picked up from a dumpster near a shop 3 days ago, my SIL sent them to the vet and last night, drop them back to my house, as she said that the local SPCA won't be able to shelter anymore cats at this moment, and any sickly kittens or cats will be put to sleep.
Now, with these 4 newcomers, I had 7 adults and 4 kittens makes 11 cats at home. It will distract me from thinking about something else whenever I am at home, nursing and taking care of them until they are healthy and well enough, hopefully someone will adopt them or else, they will ended up being the permanent resident in my home anyway, like it did to many of the cats I picked up, fostered years back.
Woke up this morning, made a mental list of being grateful of things that came to my mind, my constant exercise nowadays. After what happened yesterday, I know that it will come and hit me again, but with Scott's help, now I know what to do.
I am thankful that at least when no one in real life can explain or giving me the idea of what's going on with all the sudden 'low' feeling I had, someone in this forum does.
Thank you Scott.
*hugs to all*
Note to myself: Gratitude destroys negative thoughts.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 4 months ago #
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