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AngeLBeaR's NC
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I will NEVER sell, trade, rent, or give away your information to any third party.
I HATE SPAM! Read Our Privacy PolicyPosted 5 months ago After thinking and staring at my phone and wondering if this is this right thing to do, I finally made decision that everything just has to stop...so I decided to send him this message to his phone couple hours ago:
Hi, I agree with your decision to take a break. i really believe it is the best for both of us right now. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciated it if you didn't contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.
Me and Bud had been together in LDR for 2 years now. It was fine at first, and we contacted each other on daily basis in the net, talking on the phone once every few days, discussing everything from paintball to photography (we're both into this), looking forward to meet every 2-3 months and just last July, we spent 1 week holiday in Borneo for our birthday (we share the same birthday on 11th July).
However, things suddenly changed after we returned from the holiday, he gradually contacted me less...and starting 1st August he no longer initiated chats with me like he used to, let alone to call...I noticed this sudden changes...I tried to get him to talk, but all the answers was 'I am blank' or 'I got some problems right now, and I don't want you to get involved' or 'I don't know'. it went to an extend that I had to chase him around, wondering what's wrong with me, with our relationship that suddenly he detached himself from me. But it doesn't work at all...and it left me in the dark, hurt, ignored...it's because he was all happy commenting posts here and there in Facebook and Twitter but...seems like he turn his back from me. A friend somehow found out about us (I never told this to anyone) and she copy pasted their chat log to me and he told her that he 'feels like wanted to be single again' but he can't tell her why.
and 2 days ago, I seek advice in the blog if I should started NC as per my situation, and Scott told me I should go for it. I read and re-read the plans, almost every single topic there is...and last night, I decided to give myself one last shot..to ask him again. He still gave me the same vague answer...and yeah...here I am.
I know it will be hard...I know this process will be painful, but reading thru some of the post here, I wish I can manage to go thru this, no matter how long it takes. I can't stay long like this - feeling hopeless, sad, depressed. It's just not me. As much as I want him back...I want my life back more.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago #-
For a start, I immediately deleted him from my phone list (after I sent that NC message to him), YM, Facebook, Twitter so I won't be tempted to contact him again. Truth to be told, I am already tired of being in this emotional roller coaster.
I want my life back.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
AngeLBeaR said:
For a start, I immediately deleted him from my phone list (after I sent that NC message to him), YM, Facebook, Twitter so I won't be tempted to contact him again.Great Job AB!
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
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Posted 5 months ago Jam
offlineMemberMe and my ex were in an LDR for 2 years too and the way your ex was drifting apart and making you feel just sounds exactly like my situation!!
I know you have probably heard it countless times but believe me it does get easier!
Be strong and if he does contact you ignore it, at least until you are ready. Even then don't be easy!! Resist temptation.Good Luck x
Posted 5 months ago #-
LaLa
offlineMemberI just read your story.. The NC is going to be hard, I read several of the success stories. It works and if nothing other to heal us, make us stronger. We can do this..
"Love comes to those who have faith in love. Pain stays with those who do not want to let go.
A person will use you for as long as you let them"Posted 5 months ago # -
thank u for the support everyone.
Today I went for a paintball session with my team, had a jog around the park to clear my mind off. Actually, even before I started this NC, I had tried to get my life back on track by trying to do things that I love to do more often, I had lots of things I can do during the day, but at night - that's when it tortures me. Maybe because of that I am still constantly trying to chase him, calling/msg that makes it seems harder..and thankfully I stumbled upon this forum to show which is the right way to do it properly.
I am happy to say that I already lose weight since last month and I am determine to lose more.
Plus, I've been a guest DJ for our local radio station here for 2 days for one of my friend's special edition - she's a DJ here. (we are now in the midst of celebrating Edi/Aidilfitri and also Independence Day holidays)
and yes...if you wondering what is his reaction after I sent the NC message? None. I wouldn't expect him to reply anyway.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
I feel sad and down today. suddenly was thinking how he is getting on, if his problem was solved, was he thinking of me (i know this sounds stupid)...but it just flooded into my mind.
I need to keep myself from breaking apart...
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
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Posted 5 months ago AngeLBeaR said:
I need to keep myself from breaking apartFocus on the positive things in your life that you're grateful for, make a list.
Gratitude destroys negative thoughts/feelings and makes you feel much better.
Stay Strong and Positive!
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau ~
Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice
FREE Step-by-Step BREAK UP SURVIVAL PLANPosted 5 months ago #-
zuzan
offlineInactiveBe strong Anglebear...
i am also in the begining of this..it is hard but stay focus..coz end result definitly be a good one for most of us...i also have these ups and downs throught out the day...but i read alot of NC diaries and success stories...they really keep me up...
stay strong...u can do this....
Posted 5 months ago # -
thank you scott and zuzan.
I know that this would happen when I decided to start NC. Previously, I did tried to have my own no contact with him when it all started...but it only lasted 2-3 days and I broken it by contacting him again...
plus, i had been asking here and there for advice - men and women alike. They were giving me different answers - i.e 'you think too much', 'he is thinking of leaving you without wanting to hurt you', 'probably he has problem', 'give him space', 'leave before he said he wanted to leave you', 'just relax', 'be patient', 'some men just withdraw for no reason, dont worry', etc. it just confuses me more.until when I found this forum after searching in the internet for hours, that I found there are so many people from across the globe is in the same boat as I am, and giving support to each other.
if other people can do it, so am i!
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
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Posted 5 months ago thanks sweetcalendula.
I guess this is a phrase where most ppl will find it hard..and once get thru this, other things gets easier. I'm surviving by putting myself back bit by bit.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago #-
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberyes, i had the hard time too, initially, seriously NC is the greatest thing ever. trust me when i say take this time off for yourself okay. take it when i say it's one of the biggest thing to do to break NC. try to deviate yourself from all the distractions. yes you can!
Posted 5 months ago # -
Woke up today feeling a lil' better than yesterday, and hope it gets better each day. Still feel this 'hollow' in me but I am trying to chase away these voices, thoughts and demons that trying to tempt me in anyway. Am still thinking of him, but I tried not to get bothered, brushing the thoughts of him aside.
A friend called, trying to talk about guys and stuff - her problem with guys and so on but am just not interested to hear anything about it. Call me selfish but this time, I had more than enough in my own plate that I can bear...it's time for me to get someone to listen, to support me than being the supporter all these while and being overlooked at - as if I had no problems on my own.
anyway, it's one sunny day here. I hope I can be as positive, bright as the weather. A good day for a Sunday jog (it's sunday here) later and few bags of paint to shoot. I know I can do this.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
10:13pm here. It's a tiring day indeed. Met new friends at the paintball field today, happened to be travel agents from neigboring state who loves adventurous activities and partying. Very fun-loving people. One of them owned a B & B there and gave me a business card, said to contact them if I visited their city.
Hrm...reminded me that my best friend offered to bring me for a short holiday sometime ago. Maybe it's time to remind her about it.
By the way, I reached home at 7pm, exhausted and took little food, and fell immediately right to bed (LOL) with an empty mind. A friend rang me just now (Argghhh!!!) and yeah, since she disturbed my sleep (before my alarm clock set to wake me up to take a bath (again, LOL!) and to go to sleep afterwards)...she asked me if I could company her to the radio station for her recording (she's a DJ) and for late supper. Now that I can't get back to sleep, guess I just wait for her to arrive to pick me up. Not that hungry anyway, but it's nice to be with friends to talk about other things to distract my attention, no?
Note to myself: I can do this!
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
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Posted 5 months ago -
thank u for ur continuous support sweetcalendula.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
Supposedly having a brisk walk around the park with my younger brother 2 hours ago. But as soon as we reached the park, it started to rain!
Kinda disappointed that I can't do some exercise today. I realized that in my state like this, I find much comfort in doing some extra physical workout (usually it's just regular paintball training on weekends), sweat it all out and feel relieved though it just a little while, but it does help.
I still think of him, every now and then. But I no longer look at my phone or email, longing and hoping I would hear anything from him. I am trying to make a reflection of myself today, but nothing came good, as I am still clouded by emotions.
For now, I got all the time I wanted to figure out how to get my life back again. Some people told me before that it's okay to cry...but funny though, I can't cry it out no matter how much I wanted to, and it really eats me from the inside.
I still had trouble sleeping (insomnia)...this really got to change.
However, I had my plan to keep me busy over the next few days:
1 - Time to get my camera out again...my creative juice is running out and I can't afford to had it totally drained.
2 - To visit the plant nursery one of these days. I need some new rose plants.
3 - Playing piano again after so many years, my fingers are getting rusty! (LOL)
Note to myself: Keep it going AngeLBeaR!!!
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
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Posted 5 months ago hello Jetlag!
I am doing the best I could. Temptations are there, but I don't want to waste my effort down the drain.
thanks for dropping by and the support. That's what keep all of us going in here.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago #-
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHey AngelBear,
you can do this! yep the temptations are there, I know. well it's okay to cry once in a while but try using the fast forward technique as pointed in SW's blog. I know sometimes we can't help it but seriously getting yourself occupied, is the most relevant thing to do at the moment.
Be strong! just G-talk me if you need me!
Posted 5 months ago # -
thanks sweetcalendula. We are still here because we supported each other.
I slept quite early than usual last night. (well...2am+, is it early?)
Went to bed feeling a little better than usual. Had this weird dream about my ex (maybe coz he's still in my head), but I woke up feeling okay, not down or whatsoever, and I hope it remains.Delighted at the sight of one of my rose plants bloomed this morning. I went thru my collections of photos that I had taken for so long, not yet edited or any sort, or shared in my facebook. I think I got something to do to keep me busy tonight.
Doing small things little by little per day, it really helps a lot.
Note to myself: A step a day, keeps the pain away.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
2:46am. can't sleep.
Feeling blank at the moment.
Trying to list down things that i feel gratitude for.I feel a little better.
True as Scott said, gratitude destroys negative thoughts.
ps: I am listening to The Power. it really enlightens me.
Note to myself: Be stronger each day.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
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Posted 5 months ago -
jasmine
offlineInactiveHi AngeLBeaR,
You are doing perfectly alright and with time you will get much better.just work on yourself and keep yourself busy
I used to see my ex in my dreams everyday lol I mean every night but with time and after sending NC everything flew away
I started missing of not seeing/missig him in my dreams...lol...but thats what NC has got with it, I mean your evolution process progresss in a positive and productive way if you think less and less about him..I mean you have to cut him off from you life completely sounds bit difficult but its possible...it gets easier with time you have got a lot of courage to send that NC and you will be getting your life back soon PM me for long chats 
so keep moving and stay strong
Take Care,
JasminePosted 5 months ago # -
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Posted 5 months ago zuzan
offlineInactiveAngeLBeaR,
i also have same type of issues...jasmin is rigth u should remove him compeletly from your life...it is so damn hard....but that is the best thing to do to get ur life back....i hide all the presents,dresses,and everything he gave me....
but u cant remove him ur memories....yes, but that way u can think less about him....
stay stong girl....
i dont have much ways to keep my self busy since i am at home all day along....but i do my best to beat it......that way things becoming better as i can feel..
stay strong....u can do it....
Posted 5 months ago #-
Thanks everyone for your continuous support. <3
Fell asleep at 11pm. Woke up at 1:53am. Now. Can't go back to sleep.
Listening to The Power again, making it as one of my daily bread.
Went for a jog at the park in the evening - I feel great after that much needed workout. made some little edit for the photos I had taken before - the ones that I had kept for so long because previously, just by looking at it made me feel I don't have the mood to do anything...and glad I didn't do anything while my mood is not there or else there goes most of the 'once in a lifetime' moments all go to waste.
trying out new recipe I created on my own and feed it to my family as guinea pigs (LOL!). turn out the food came great and they love it. I forsee myself will be in the kichen trying out something else to feed them (again, LOL!).
A friend texted me to reconfirm my rsvp to his wedding next weekend. I totally had forgotten about it. Anyway, told him that I will be going. Thinking what to wear...hrm...(finding a reason to shop)
Looking at myself in the mirror...I need to change my hairstyle. But first need to scout for a new hair stylist as the current ones that I frequented said I am fine with long hair and only trimmed it a bit...refused to cut it shorter =/ I demand a 2nd opinion!!
Planned a day out tomorrow with my aunt. It's the farmer's market day...I might find something interesting.
I still think of him every now and then. But I tried not to be bothered about it, and so far it went just fine. It's the dreams about him that I still had is something I don't have control of (any tips to 'delete' him from my dreams?). I still feel a little down but not as bad as it was few days back.
Note to myself: get my life back on track again....hope I am heading towards the right one.
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
sanity_fair
offlineMemberHey Angelbear! You can only get him out of your dreams when you stop thinking about him while you're awake. The less you think about him consciously, the more your subconscious is rid of him.
Keep busy. You'll get through this. Just be patient with yourself.
Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.
Vaclav Havel, Disturbing the PeacePosted 5 months ago # -
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Posted 5 months ago Thanks for the support. Since listening to The Power I tried my little exercise of LOA...(just a lil exercise, if this really works towards something bigger, I'll share it in the LOA thread ok..
)Am still wondering if it's mere coincidence or LOA works (something did happen today)...so the only thing I can do with my time alone now is keep on exercising and listening to it over and over again.
anyway, I feel good today. Looking forward to see my days like this.
Note to myself: One step at a time...
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago #-
ahahaha..i'll tell u abt it when I am sure that my exercise works!
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
david271
offlineMemberYou are doing great. I'm into my 12 day of NC. When my ex received my NC, I was told she freaked out. She was asking what decisions is he making? Also stated "when will and why would he call." Sending that NC letter you have taken back control because of his responses. The "experts" say that's how they all mostly respond. He will contact you. it will be longer then what you might have plan. But he will. But that will create a problem for you. You will have completed the healing process and move on. Then when he contacts you, you will have to make the decision about getting back together. she keep excerising, stay busy at work and home, go to church and pray. Google and you will find get back together prayers.
Posted 5 months ago # -
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Posted 5 months ago Hi David,
thanks for dropping by. I tried not to think what is my ex's reaction when he got my NC. since there's no news from him asking what, why and things like that...I let him be. For now, I just want to focus on getting my life back on track...if there's any need of reconnection, I wanted to be all set and ready...
there are moments where i do still think of him every now and then, even dreamt of him (geez)...but I am trying to occupy myself and divert my attention to something else.
Let us grow together be positive and stronger each day!
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago #-
sweetcalendula
offlineMemberHey AngelBear,
It's okay to have him in mind once in a while. Undeniably the urge to break no contact is always there. but we are all champions for not breaking it. that is why we are all here to support each other, to get OUR lives back first., and anything else will fall into place. it is a constant effort, daily effort and struggle to deviate ourselves from ranting or whining about all the negative thinkings. Instead, changing it to positive thoughts will definitely boost us more to become the better us. (:
Xox
Posted 5 months ago # -
yeah..the urge is there..but I am glad that so far I haven't break it and i determined to keep it that way.
gambateeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago # -
plus....learn to listen to happy songs...here's one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ9xZHOcO84
"Happy Boys & Girls"
Be happy...
Come on let's go get it on!
Be happy. Be happy...
Come on let's go get it on!
Be happy...
Everybody let's go have some funI don't want to waste my time on simple little things
I'd rather stay here all the night with happy boys who sings
Come on let's go get it on, everybody let's go have some funI've got a feeling you could use a little smile,
Hoping you could stay there for just a little while
Making a lot of noise up there, throw your hands up in the airI don't want to waste my time on simple little things
I'd rather stay here all the night with everyone who singsHappy boys and happy girls, will be
We are the happy boys and girls
Happy boys and happy girls, will be
So happy, yeah! so, so happy, yeah!Happy boys and happy girls, will be
We are the happy boys and girls
Happy boys and happy girls, will be
Oh yeah, so happy...Try with an giggle it will make you look so nice
And if you start to warm, you can further break the ice
come on let's go get it on, everybody let's go have some funI've got a feeling you could use a little smile
Hoping you could stay there for just a little while
Making a lot of noise up there, throw your hands up in the airI don't want to waste my time on simple little things
I'd rather stay here all the night with everyone who singsHappy boys and happy girls, will be
We are the happy boys and girls
Happy boys and happy girls, will be
So happy, yeah! so, so happy, yeah!Happy boys and happy girls, will be
We are the happy boys and girls
Happy boys and happy girls, will be
Oh yeah, so happy...Young and old.
Be happy. Everyone... Be happy
I'm sure you could. Be happy...
'Cause happy boys and happy girls is around the worldBe happy...
Come on let's go get it on!
Be happy...
Everybody let's go have some fun!
Be happy...
Come on let's go get it on!
Be happy...
Everybody let's go have some funHappy boys and happy girls, will be
We are the happy boys and girls
Happy boys and happy girls, will be
So happy, yeah! so, so happy, yeah!Happy boys and happy girls, will be
We are the happy boys and girls
Happy boys and happy girls, will be
Oh yeah, so happy...Be happy...
Come on let's go get it on!
Be happy...
Everybody let's go have some fun!
Be happy...
Come on let's go get it on!
Be happy...God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change....
The first step toward change is acceptance.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you.Posted 5 months ago #
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